My Secret Obsession
by EricTheNorthman
Summary: AH Just when Sookie thought things could not get any more complicated between her and Eric, in walks Professor Northman, Pam, his wife Felicia, Professor Mason, Andre and any other obstacle that could possibly exist. Rated M for lemons and language! E/S
1. Chapter 1

**Sookie POV:**

"Thank you for calling the Law Offices of Ravencroft, Compton, & Madden, how may I help you today?"

I cheerily greeted the person on the other end of the line, I was interning at the law office and we were short staffed so the other two interns and myself were taking turns covering reception.

It was an honour being accepted for this internship as Ms. Ravencroft is well known for never settling for anything but the best in our class. I had graduated damn near top of my undergraduate class earning a bachelors degree with a major in political science and a minor in psychology.

I was also about to enter my final year of law school at Yale. I hadn't actually intended to move onto law originally. I was initially planning on going into politics when a rather terrifying event occurred leaving me in a bad place both physically and emotionally for a while to say the least. After a few discussions with my academic advisor I found myself more and more interested in different aspects of the law and went ahead and enrolled in a few law electives.

So almost two years into my undergrad studies my career path took an unexpected turn and the rest as they say is history.

"Hi, this is Eric Northman. I have an appointment with Pa…I mean Ms. Ravencroft in about fifteen minutes but I'm running a little late."

Oh god, the man's voice was sexy as hell. Smooth like velvet, I swear he could bring me to orgasm with just the sound of his voice. I don't know what he does for a living but if he is not a phone sex operator then he has most certainly missed his calling. I couldn't help but think that with a voice like his he was most probably lacking in the looks department, nobody can have it all.

"Ok" I stammered "just let me get a quick look at her schedule here…it looks like she is open for the next two hours, how late do you expect to be Mr. Northman?"

"Probably only ten or fifteen minutes but I didn't want to leave her waiting."

"No problem, I'll let her know for you, Mr. Northman." I said. After hanging up the phone I quickly buzzed Ms. Ravencroft and let her know that Mr. Northman was going to be a little late.

Ms. Ravencroft mostly dealt with family law cases, child custody and divorce taking up about 95% of her caseload. She was very good at her job and rarely ever walked away without a victorious outcome for her client. Mr. Northman was in excellent hands regardless of whatever his situation may be.

Thirty minutes later the most beautiful man I had ever laid eyes on came waltzing through the doors. God he was handsome, almost shoulder length blond hair, the most gorgeous bright blue eyes, he was tall had to be a good six foot two or three easily with strong broad shoulders and muscular arms from what I could see of them. He wore dark jeans, black leather boots, a grey t-shirt that was just snug enough to tell that he was definitely sporting some well defined abs.

"Holy shit" I muttered to myself.

I tried my best to smile normally and not my nervous smile that Amelia likes to call my 'crazy Sookie' smile as I greeted the god before me.

"Hi, how can I help you today?"

"Oh, I am sure there are a number of ways that you could help me" he said as he winked at me. "unfortunately I happen to be running late and have an appointment with Ms. Ravencroft."

_Fuck me, I think Mr. Beautiful just propositioned me…sort of. Wait, an appointment with Ms. Ravencroft? He can not seriously be my phone sex guy, there's no way anyone can be so gifted in every department!_

"Mr. Northman, I pesume?" I couldn't help the blush that covered my cheeks as he caught me checking him out from head to toe. He smirked at me before responding to my question.

"You presume correctly, Ms…." He was obviously waiting for an introduction, which I gave him.

"Stackhouse, Sookie Stackhouse. If you'd like to take a seat I'll let Ms. Ravencroft know you are here."

He nodded and took a seat in the chair that was closest to my desk and I could feel his eyes on me with every move I made. Including when Mr. fucking Compton approached me.

"Do you think you can get five copies of this to me for my meeting at four o'clock, sweetheart?"

My head snapped up so fast I think I might have whiplash, I was so angry that for once I actually glared at Mr. Compton. When I first started here I thought it was just a part of his southern charm with the nick names but then I noticed that he only used them with certain girls and most definitely never in front of Ms. Ravencroft.

He had even tried a few times to get me to go to dinner with him, which was entirely inappropriate. I guess he felt that it wasn't because technically I was Ms. Ravencroft's intern, therefore, did not work for him.

He seemed to unconsciously take a step back when he saw the look on my face. He actually looked a little fearful of me which caused a small smile to appear on my face. Although my voice was strained I managed to maintain a calm exterior as I gave what was hopefully my last warning.

"No problem, Mr. Compton." He turned to walk away but I stood and placed my hand on his arm and spoke as quietly as possible.

"I am not your sweetheart, Mr. Compton. Not now, not ever. I believe I have made myself very clear during all of your invitations to accompany you outside of work, but just to be on the safe the side I ask that you please hear me this time." I paused to ensure he was actually listening to me and he nodded.

"Your advances are not welcome, I think you're a nice man but not for me. Please refer to me by Sookie or Ms. Stackhouse, nothing else. I was hoping that this would all blow over once you realised that I was not interested but you are either dumber than a box of rocks or intentionally daft, out of respect I will go with the latter not that you deserve it. I prefer to keep this between us so please do not make me have to go to Ms. Ravencroft over something we can settle ourselves right here and now."

I released a long breath not even realising that I hadn't really been breathing through my rant.

"It will not be a problem, I apologize for the misunderstanding, Ms. Stackhouse."

I stood there with my mouth gaping as he walked away. Misunderstanding? He had to be insane, there was no misunderstanding. I was clearly not interested and he was clearly ignoring that fact. I heard the intercom beep on the desk behind me and shook my head bringing myself back to the present.

I glanced over to Mr. Northman hoping he hadn't heard any of our conversation. His small, tight smile and the slight nod of his head told me that he obviously had and was thankfully not going to comment. I blushed and turned to pick up the phone and listened as Ms. Ravencroft stated that I could bring Eric (as she referred to him) back now.

"Cerainly, just give me a moment." I stated before hanging up and turning to Mr. Northman. "Ok, if you'd follow me Mr. Northman, I can take you back now."

He nodded and stood to his full height. God, he was fucking hot. I could feel his eyes more than likely on my ass as I made a point of adding a small sway to my hips as I walked down the hall. As we approached Ms. Ravencroft's closed office door I decided I wanted to quickly apologize before sending him in.

I turned back not expecting him to be so close and ran right into his muscular chest and he held me steady with his hands on my upper arms.

"Umph…god, I'm so sorry. I had just wanted to apologize for you having to witness my earlier conversation with Mr. Compton."

He chuckled at my obvious discomfort before opening his beautiful, arrogant mouth.

"Please I insist you call me Eric, none of this god crap. You haven't earned that right…yet. And please don't apologize for that asshole, Compton hasn't changed one bit since we attended Harvard together."

I didn't have the chance to respond to anything he said as he opened the office door and walked in. I think I stood there catching flies, as gran would say, for a moment as I tried to get past his obviously extremely high opinion of himself. He was perfect in every way and he knew it.

I made quick time of getting Mr. Compton's copies and dropped them off to him. I started a fresh pot of coffee and tidied up the reception area quickly. I buzzed into the office asking Ms. Ravencroft if they were interested in any.

"Yes, please…Eric do you still take your coffee the same…ok…Sookie, please bring two coffees. One with just a little cream and my regular."

"No problem, I'll be right in."

It didn't take me long to prepare their coffee and one for myself to enjoy when I returned to my desk. I walked in and didn't miss the smirk that Mr. Northman threw my way as I passed him.

"Here you are, is there anything else I can get for you?"

"Actually, I'd like you to rush these papers to the court house and get them filed before the deadline please."

"That was fast, you weren't in here together very long." I stated, more than a little surprised.

"Oh I had most of this done already, Eric is one of my oldest and dearest friends so I was aware of the circumstances ahead of time. By the way, Eric this is Sookie and vice versa." She said as she waved her hand between us.

"It's nice to meet you Eric." I said as I stepped forward offering him my hand.

"The pleasure is all mine." He responded, the smirk still displayed on those gorgeous lips.

He had reached out to take my offered hand and I slowly became aware that I had probably been holding on a moment too long but can't seem to relax my hand enough to release his.

I shiver as my body reacts to the warm feeling that seems to begin in my stomach and spread through my entire body and his smirk seems to turn into a confused smile while he looks down at our joined hands.

"Jesus" I mutter and his smug smirk returns full force as he leans down and whispers in my ear.

"What is it with you and all the biblical references directed at me." Oh shit, I said that out loud!

"Sorry" I mutter again as I pull my hand back quickly and turn to my boss who is smiling brightly at us both. "I…ah, I should run before I miss the deadline, Sophie may like me but not enough to squeeze me in if I'm too late."

"Yes, here." She said passing me his paperwork. "File these as is so we're not too late but when you get back I want you to summarize the file so I can find what I need a little faster when we end up in court…well if we end up in court."

"Sure thing, I'll get right on it."

I turned and headed for the door but didn't miss the fact that Mr. Northman was clenching and unclenching his hand as he stood in front of the desk watching me leave. I leaned against the door as I pulled it closed behind me, just glad to be away from him and the unexpectedly tense as hell moment we seemed to share.

I grabbed my purse and headed straight for the court house and was successful in getting Sophie to file the motion in Mr. Northman's case. It wasn't until I got back to the office that I had a chance to look through the file as I sorted through the paperwork and organized it as I was asked.

It turns out that he was filing for divorce from his wife Felicia of five years, though they had been together for another five years previous to that. He was citing adultery as he had walked in on her and not one but two other men and another woman.

I didn't see why she would bother to contest it considering she had signed a pre-nup stating she'd be a rich woman if they ever divorced unless she had had an affair, in which case she would get nothing yet he was leaving her the home they had shared in Massachusetts.

It appears that he picked up and moved a few hours away from her close to six weeks ago. My eyes bulged out of my head as I noticed his financial statements and the thought that crossed my mind was filled with expletives.

Holy fuck, it just can't be possible. Not only is the man so fucking hot that he could quite literally be Adonis himself, his voice alone is enough to make you orgasm on command but he's fucking loaded too! Nobody should be this blessed, not ever!

I know how that sounds but I truly was never one to concern myself with money and that is still the case today. Money is something I've never really had a lot of, I have a trust fund as does my brother that was left to us when our parents passed on but I've pretty much drained mine paying for my education over the last six years and supporting myself.

**A/N: Characters belong to Charlaine Harris**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: WARNING!! Some not so normal sexual behaviour to some in this chapter, there is no real detail involved so hopefully no one is put off too much by it. This will be the only chapter that includes a brief description of the acts. Felicia is just gross! **

**Eric POV:**

I haven't practiced law in over two years I had decided to take some time to teach, it wasn't necessarily a decision that I just happened to fall upon. I had graduated from Harvard and was a favourite of most professors as well as the dean.

It was these circumstances that lead me to an offer to teach law for the last two years as a professor at Harvard Law. The money was not near as good as the pay check that practising both civil and criminal law had brought in, but it was something new and I was more than happy for the change.

It was this change that allowed me to spend more time at home, thus more time with my wife Felicia. If I was being honest with myself I would say that my pride had not allowed for me to see just what it was that my wife had gotten up to during all her free time.

I should have noticed that her interests in the bedroom had seemed to change, she was more aggressive over the last few years and had begun to ask me to do different things with her that we had never done before.

It started out small with blindfolding, or tying her hands to our bed posts. She would ask me to smack her which I would only go so far as to smack her bottom, I was not at all interested in slapping her around as she occasionally requested. These changes were something I found that I was ok with and actually enjoyed myself but I drew the line when it appeared that she wanted the role playing that she had initiated to move to an all new level and wanted me to 'rape' her.

Needless to say I was appalled by just the thought of it and seriously began to wonder if I had ever really known who my wife was. It was probably about six months ago when she had began to hint at wanting me take her from behind and I am not referring to bending her over my desk or having her on all fours. No, she wanted to be on the receiving end of anal sex.

Again, I should have been curious as to why my wife whom I have spent the last almost ten years with was able to have me penetrate her anally and not cause her much pain at all. I do not mean to boast but I have been told by many a woman and happen to know myself that I am quite blessed in the size department, in both length and girth yet she was able to handle me thrusting into her with nothing but a few whimpers as she begged me to give it to her harder. That was certainly something that I would come to ponder at a later date.

I have to admit that I had enjoyed taking her in that way but it is not anything that I would look to do with another partner. As it wasn't anything I remotely had any interest in before she had introduced it into our sex lives.

When I was younger I had definitely been with more than my fair share of women, it wasn't hard since they seemed to throw themselves at me no matter where I was. I had taken many women in many different ways and in many different places, some even more aggressively than others but never to the extent that Felicia seemed to be asking me to go.

Two nights before I had come home to find her in a situation that finally led me to end our marriage we had been having sex and something that felt so fucking good it caused me to release the fiercest load into her immediately had happened. I felt the hottest fucking sensation ever spread over my erection that was deep within my wife, it wasn't till I had recovered from my orgasm induced haze that she said she knew I would appreciate what she had done for me.

It took a moment for me look down and see the wetness covering myself and the somewhat strong smell of urine to realise that my wife had fucking pissed on me, and intentionally at that!

I was fucking disgusted, I know there are people that are into this. I AM NOT ONE OF THEM! I literally threw her off of me, took a moment to let her know just how disgusted I was and then showered for longer than usual.

"Why the fuck would you think that I would want you to do something like that?" I asked her when I had returned from my shower.

"I heard it caused an amazing reaction and I thought you might like something different."

"Where the hell did you hear about something like that?"

"I don't know, I might have read it or maybe someone told me. I can't remember Eric, but you seemed to like it if your reaction to it says anything."

"Felicia, that will never fucking happen again. Do you understand me? Never, I was completely fucking disgusted so don't delude yourself."

We barely spoke over the course of the next two days and I had decided that we'd avoided each other long enough, so instead of joining Clancy, one of my colleague's from the law department for our Thursday evening ritual of a few drinks I headed straight home to take Felicia for dinner.

There was a lot of noise coming from our bedroom, a mix of moans, groaning, loud panting and begging for more. I knew exactly what I was hearing but I was confused as to why I seemed to be hearing so much of it overlapping each other. The site before as I opened the door made it rather obvious why…there were four people in my bed not just Felicia with one other person.

I was disgusted and shocked by what I was watching. There was my beautiful wife leaning forward as far as she possibly could riding one man while another straddled the legs of the first and was thrusting into her ass. The other woman…well she was hovering over the face of the man lying on his back while he appeared to be licking her dry. It took a moment for me to register that Felicia also seemed to have a vibrator in her hand that was entering the other woman's behind.

Suddenly the reason for my wife's new interests in the bedroom became very clear and I was horrified as I wondered how long this had been going on and if they were using any protection? I stood there silently not really watching anymore as I was more in shock than anything, until I heard the muffled voice from what had to be the man whose face was currently buried between the other woman's legs as he ordered my Felicia to 'fucking piss on his dick now!'

Jesus fucking christ…she had seriously brought a disgusting activity that she learned from this filthy sordid affair into our bed! Who the hell am I kidding? Shit this whole fucking affair was taking place in my bed! I had finally had enough and made myself known.

"Felicia, I am sure you understand the terms of our pre-nup. You can have this fucking house and nothing else. I'll have the paperwork processed and sent to you."

The entire group was shocked by my appearance in the room and went about awkwardly trying to separate from each other. I didn't wait around, I turned and headed for my office to retrieve some items that I wasn't leaving without. Felicia appeared naked in the doorway.

"Eric, come on. Join us, You'll enjoy it I can promise you that."

"Are you fucking kidding me? I think you know better than that Felicia or you would have tried to introduce something like this before. Now get your whore ass out of my office, and those fuckers better be gone by the time I return to the bedroom to pack my shit!"

She had the gall to attempt to argue with me trying to excuse what had been going on. She claimed to love me and made promises to never let it happen again. I told her in no uncertain terms that we were fucking done so she could continue to do as she fucking well pleased.

She seemed horrified herself when I reminded her that it looked like she would need to get herself a job as she had entered our marriage with very little and would only be receiving the house and some of it's contents. No cash or anything else. I, of course would be removing all my family heirlooms as soon as I returned from the bank, which was where I was off to right now to remove her name from all my accounts. She would no longer have access to anything.

I contacted a moving company and paid out a substantial bonus for them to be at my home within the hour. Five hours later anything of value was now housed in a storage unit, Felicia had no access to anything but what was left in the house, I had emptied what little I kept in a vault in our bedroom and was currently checking into a hotel for the night.

The following morning I went to see the dean and explained a little of my situation and went on to tell her that I had spoken to one of my closest friends in New Haven and it looked like that was where I would be heading as soon as the semester ended.

I wasn't at all worried about a job considering I have enough of my own money to technically never have to work again but I was still a little intrigued by her mention of Yale also being in need of a last minute replacement for a law professor. I had never been one to sit around and do nothing so it was definitely a thought.

She told me that she would contact the dean at Yale about me and get back to me. The semester was over in a few short weeks and then I'd be on my way to New Haven and a new life.

The following week I had my appointment with my physician, I had a very obvious need to be tested considering Felicia's extra-curricular activities. I admit being angry seemed to work as a form of avoidance over my hurt pride. I have never met a woman that wouldn't want to devote herself to me and here I have to marry what appears to be the biggest whore I'd yet to meet.

It's no wonder I was with her for five years before agreeing to marry her, and yes I mean agreeing to. It wasn't me that proposed marriage, she had come to me claiming to have fallen pregnant asking me to make an honest woman out of her. Saying she didn't want to bring our child into this world unwed, it was because of this that I had her sign the pre-nup. She would walk away with nothing more than a million dollars and a house of my choosing unless of course she was unfaithful.

I had been out of town on business as I was practicing law at the time and on my return was informed that she had suffered a miscarriage. She hadn't contacted me to let me know or ask me to return home, I have often wondered if the whole thing had just been a ploy to get me to marry her since I had always said it was something I didn't see myself doing with anyone.

I was glad to finally find myself getting through my last week in Cambridge, classes were long over but I had finals to grade and enter into the system before I could leave. I had gone down to New Haven and stayed with Pam for a weekend to house hunt. She had attempted to initiate sex while I was there but my ego was not ready yet, she and I had been intimate quite a few times through both high school and law school. For some reason we had never officially been a 'couple' we just liked to fuck when we weren't busy with others but had ended things when I become serious with Felicia.

Surprisingly enough I had found the perfect place on my first outing. After having it inspected for any problems and finding that there were nothing more than a few small issues easily dealt with I went ahead and purchased the property. I had everything from storage sent over and had made a second trip down to shop for some furniture, which Pam had offered to oversee the delivery and placement of.

I had settled fairly easily, had a brief interview with the dean of Yale and had been offered the placement with the law department. I was currently running late for my appointment with Pam. She is one of my best friends and a divorce attorney, who is going to be settling my marriage to Felicia, which we believe to be pretty cut and dry and should go off without a hitch.

I quickly contacted her office and was a little intrigued by the southern charm of the woman who answered the phone. There was something about a woman with a southern accent that caused a stir within me, maybe it was the innocence that for some reason seemed to follow a southern lady around.

I wasn't at all disappointed in her physical traits either, she was the exact opposite of Felicia. Blond hair, blue eyes, voluptuous body, she had soft beautiful curves in all the right places. She was beautiful and perfect in every way, I was glad to find a woman that was far from anorexic looking. She was an honest to god truly natural looking woman and as her eyes noticeably roamed my body I actually felt my dick twitch for the first time since my emasculating experience walking in on Felicia.

I felt myself slowly returning to myself and couldn't be responsible for the smirk that seemed to appear on my face after many weeks of feeling like complete shit.

I hadn't seen Bill Compton since our Harvard days and was none too impressed to have to witness him demeaning the beautifully, sexy woman that made me feel like a man again. If he had gone further with her I would have said something but I got the distinct impression that she would not have appreciated me stepping in.

As my meeting was over I said goodbye to Pam and was on my way, a little disappointed that I didn't have the chance to see Sookie before leaving. She must have run off to the court house to file my divorce papers.

I settled in bed early and was thinking back to earlier when Pam introduced me to Sookie. I wondered what that could be short for, It was definitely an original name. I had started out having a little fun with her about biblical references which she seemed surprised by but she couldn't have been more surprised than I was at the intense reaction my body seemed to have towards her when I first took her hand in mine.

From her reaction I was convinced that she must have felt it too as she didn't seem willing to let go of my hand for a moment. Somewhere in the back of my mind something was telling me that meeting her had some sort of significant meaning in my life.

**A/N: Characters belong to Charlaine Harris**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sookie POV:**

It was the Friday two weeks before classes would resume again. Amelia was a TA last year for Professor Mason in the English department and still kept in contact with her a little. So she had been let in on the big secret that Professor Langdon from the Law department had suffered a severe nervous breakdown.

We all assumed it had something to do with his wife's unexpected death earlier in the year, that of course was not the big secret. The big secret was that we were in for one hell of a treat, as Professor Mason put it.

Turns out the new professor taking over was supposed to be all kinds of hot, he was coming to us from Harvard which he was also a graduate of, and he had previously been some hotshot attorney in New York before practically being begged to join the Harvard faculty team. That in and of itself spoke measures for how wonderful a mentor he could possibly be.

"Oh, oh and I almost forgot, we have to go to this bar Mason was telling me about. She was raving about it, apparently it's a hidden gem for innovative drinks, a downtown-NY feel, and believe it or not, world-class live jazz."

Amelia loved her jazz, I was a fan yes, but not at all in comparison to her.

"So what's this place called Ames?" "She said we'll love it! It's called Firehouse 12 and she said it's an old firehouse-turned-modern recording studio-turned-jazz performance space-turned bar/lounge. Her words not mine, but it sounds lovely doesn't it?" She sighed deeply before continuing.

"Mason was pretty passionate about it, let me see if I can quote her just right 'Every step of its evolution has added another layer to its charm: the brick from the old firehouse, the insanely good live jazz on most Friday nights, and of course, the classy, tasty drinks and bar food that hold it all together.' Yeah, I think that's exactly what she said."

"Sounds interesting, so what time should I be ready?"

I asked knowing she was going to go ballistic once she noticed how easily I had agreed to go. She didn't need to know that I was so willing to in hopes of ridding my mind of certain images, I just wanted to at least attempt to get Mr. Northman off of my mind. I don't think a single day had passed where I haven't thought about him at least a dozen times.

"I love you Sooks! Oh, Trey mentioned that he and Alcide may pop by after they shoot some pool or something. You don't mind do you?"

"Not at all." I lied.

Fighting off Alcide's advances was not my idea of a relaxing night out with my friends. He was a good guy but just too wild and not nearly as grown up as he should be at 28 years old. I was just barely 25 and was much more settled down than I think he would ever be.

Plus he likes to get around, he seems to always have a new girl on his arm at the end of the night. That's exactly what I'm talking about too, he's not even mature nor intelligent enough to realise that moving on to a new chick and taking her home once he knows that I'm not biting every time we go out is not going to get him in my pants. EVER. I wasn't sure how to dress for the night. We weren't going clubbing, nor did it sound like your everyday pub or anything. I decided to go for a simple gray pencil skirt, a pale pink blouse that I left open over a matching tank top and black heels, no stockings. It was a fairly casual look and I was happy with it.

Amelia always reminded me of a gypsy type in a way, she wore a lot of long flowing skirts and loose blouses but tonight she went with a very wide legged dress pant with a three quarter sleeve length blouse and flats.

Firehouse 12 was everything Professor Mason had described and more, it was quite charming really. I'm surprised we hadn't come across this place before now considering I had been here for six years now and Amelia was heading into her fourth year.

We had settled on green apple martini's which were absolutely delicious here, I was on my second and Amelia her third when Trey and Alcide showed up. At least my first hour an half or so was quite wonderful. I had really been enjoying the music before Alcide's booming voice seemed to take over.

Two more drinks later and Alcide's chair seemingly getting closer and closer to mine, I decided it was tome to take myself up to bar for a much needed breather. The bar was crowded by this point and I basically had to shove my way up to the bar.

"What can I get for you, beautiful?" I didn't mind it so much when this guy approached me in this manner. One, he didn't know my name to begin with and two, he was really just trying for a bigger tip.

"Green apple martini, please." I stated.

I didn't really pay any attention to my surroundings until the bartender returned with my drink and I heard the voice of who could only be Mr. Northman as he asked permission to pay for my drink.

"Mr Northman!" I practically yelled. "So nice to see you again."

"It's a pleasure to see you as well, do you mind?" He asked gesturing to my drink.

I nodded in the affirmative before joking around with him, a little more boldly than usual. I have no idea where it came from. "You do realise that a single drink only get's you a very brief conversation, right?"

"Absolutely." He smirked. "Just out of curiosity what does two or possibly three drinks get me?"

"I suppose we'll just have to see, won't we." Holy crap! Where the hell did that come from.

"Are you here with anyone?" I asked.

"No, my house is only a couple of blocks away. I had heard good things about the place and was going a little stir crazy so I decided to check it out. What about you?"

"Unfortunately, yes. I came with a friend and her boyfriend met up with us a while ago, bringing his overly annoying all too friendly roommate. I actually came up to the bar to get away from the table for a moment."

"Well by all means join me, I'd love the company. I really don't know too many people besides Pam here so I am coming up a little short in the conversational department."

At his mention of Ms. Ravencroft I felt a slight bit of jealousy as I recalled how she had introduced him 'one of her oldest and dearest friends' I wondered if they had been together at some point as they were both gorgeous individuals.

Then I kicked myself for thinking that way about a man I've only met once…well twice now, and a married man at that! It didn't matter that he was getting a divorce, that was all still so new.

I glanced around the bar again and found Amelia and Trey on the dance floor with a not so happy Alcide looking my way.

"Thanks, I think I will." I said as I took a seat next to him.

Conversation seemed to flow easily as we discussed the area, he asked what it was that the second drink would get him as he casually slipped the cash across the bar to pay for said drink, and I joked that it could possibly get him a kiss-well the slightest peck on the cheek anyway..

We shared a little information about ourselves, not much but I did learn that he was eight years older than me at 33 and he had known Pam since he was in grade school.

We were half way through our third drink together when I guess Alcide had had enough and decided that it was not ok for me to be the one to appear to be picking up someone else.

He had sauntered over and practically demanded that I dance with him, I was unsure of what to do as I did not want to, but also didn't want to drag Mr. Northman into this by claiming I was busy with him. I was more than happy when he stepped in on his own.

"Hi, I'm Eric, and you are?"

"Alcide" He huffed, clearly not happy.

"Well it was nice to meet you Alcide, but unfortunately my friend and I were about partake in a dance or two ourselves. So we'll have to catch up with you later." He replied, his voice still smooth as velvet.

He stood offering his hand to me and I graciously accepted it, not at all missing that same warmth that flowed through my body starting at the finger tips of the hand he now held. It was even worse as he pulled me into his arms and I gently rested my cheek just below his right shoulder.

Fuck he was hot! The top few buttons were open on his button down shirt and I could see the light sprinkle of his blond chest hair that sat so beautifully on his rather toned chest. He smelled amazing, there was a very light scent of a cologne I had never smelled before.

I lifted my head to look up, and than up some more as I took in just how tall he really was.

"Thank you Mr, Northman, you really should not have to act as my night in shining armour."

"Your welcome, but I am going to have to insist that you call me Eric. All this Mr. Northman crap is making me feel old, plus I intend to call you Sookie, not Ms. Stackhouse so it is only fair."

I laughed and agreed that he was now Eric to me, we shared two dances before stepping off the dance floor. They were the hardest dances I had ever had to get through as our bodies were pressed so tightly to one another that I could feel that he was just as turned on by me as well. It was late and Amelia had come over to tell me that she was going back to Trey's place for the night. That was the norm when he would meet up with us so I wasn't surprised.

What I was surprised by was my acceptance of Eric's offer to accompany him back to his place for a drink since the bar was now closing. We walked hand in hand and approached his home within a few minutes, it was quite beautiful actually. It was a large and very pale yellow house with a wrap around porch, it even included the little white picket fence. Not at all what I would picture as Eric's home.

I sat down and curled my feet under me in the corner of his couch, while he lit a somewhat unnecessary fire as it was August, the night had been a little cool though. He left the room and brought back two glasses of wine and sat down next to me. He was so close that our thighs shifted against each other when one or the other moved slightly.

"I guess I should call a cab now." I stated as we finished off our glasses of wine.

We stood at the same time and Eric turned to me with a mischievous look in his eyes.

"I haven't kissed you yet." He whispered in my ear as he leaned close. "I'm not going to hold you to anything beyond the purchase of the second drink but I do believe I was promised a kiss."

"Kiss me?" I laughed lightly "Oh god, I forgot about that, well don't kiss me because of a couple of drinks you bought me. Kiss me because you want to, if you want to that is."

I stated as I wondered how or why this perfectly gorgeous man would want to kiss me, don't get me wrong. I know I'm attractive but that doesn't mean I would place myself in a class along with Eric Northman!

"If I want to?…

He took my hand in his and dragged it down his shirt and I could feel his stomach muscles tense as my hand grazed them. God, his body was warm and hard. My fingers catching on his waistband, then settled over the impressive swell behind his now snug fitting jeans. He pressed my hand firmly against his erection.

"Does that feel like I don't want to kiss you, Sookie?"

My pulse shifted into high gear my hand reflexively cupped his erection and I applied a little of my own pressure as he brought his lips to mine.

His lips were soft yet firm and his tongue darted out tracing my bottom lip, seeking permission to enter my mouth. Which I gladly gave as I parted my lips and our tongues met in a fierce battle for dominance.

A whispered 'fuck' escaped my lips as I felt him shimmy my skirt up around my hips and slide his fingers along my wet sex.

I have no idea where my brazenness was coming from but I felt my fingers trying to release the button of his pants. Before I actually registered what I was doing his pants were sliding down his legs and I was holding his rather impressive length in my hands, stroking him.

He stepped out of his pants gently shoving me back against the wall behind us and he kissed his way down my jaw and across my throat finding my collar bone, and I moaned so loudly I was utterly shocked that the sounds were actually coming from me.

He spread my shirt open and his hand found it's way under my tank as it cupped my breast before playfully pinching and pulling at my nipple.

"Fuck, I want you so bad, Sookie. I've wanted you since the moment I saw you. There's something about you" He whispered into my neck as his lips made their way back up my body.

"Unngh…god." Was all I could mutter and I felt his lips curve into a smile as they found mine again. I knew exactly what he was thinking…

Both his hands traced my body as they slowly reached my panties which he slid down my legs, I didn't miss the fact that he shoved them into his pocket and not just tossed them to the floor.

His fingers entered me quickly and my hips automatically ground against is hand. Within moments I was screaming out his name as I tightened around his fingers and felt the coil in my stomach give way…my juices were flowing over his fingers and into the palm of his hand.

He brought them from my dripping wet sex to his mouth and moaned as he licked them clean. His lips found mine again and I could taste myself on him, surprisingly that act alone caused the familiar warming to begin in my stomach and my muscles flex and tighten.

I wanted him…I needed him inside of me now!

**A/N: Character's belong to Charlaine Harris**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Sookie POV:**_

_He brought them from my dripping wet sex to his mouth and moaned as he licked them clean. His lips found mine again and I could taste myself on him, surprisingly that act alone caused the familiar warming to begin in my stomach and my muscles flex and tighten._

_I wanted him…I needed him in me now! _

He growled as I reached down and stroked his member again, he picked me up and brought me the few feet over in front of the fire and gently laid me down on the soft chocolate brown rug that rested in front of the mantel.

My eyes went irresistibly to his erection and my entire body literally went weak, unable to imagine something that size entering me. His size was even more impressive than I first thought, my mouth watered as I took in the fact that he was rather long and his shaft was so fucking thick.

I tried to reach for him to repay the favour so to speak and he just shook his head at me, I looked into his eyes and seen the very same look I knew had to be playing in my eyes. He wanted me, wanted to be in me just as badly as I wanted it.

His eyes were silently asking my permission to enter me and he groaned loudly as he brought his erect member to my entrance and gently rubbed it up and down the length of my wet folds.

He froze.

"Fuck, I have no protection. Shit."

"Oh god" I groaned and my hips involuntarily bucked against his erection still sitting at my entrance. We had almost come too far for me to care about that, I was on the fucking pill and yes I know there are other risks but shit I hadn't been with a man since that night…

As though he read my mind his eyes shifted and were filled with a renewed sense of hope as he spoke.

"Are you on the pill or anything? I'm clean, I was tested a couple of months ago."

A pained look crossed his face as he spoke the last words and my mind immediately went to his divorce papers. I understood at that moment that his wife's indiscretions had done more to him than he lets on.

"Yes, pill. I'm clean too." I panted and he immediately entered me, his eyes never leaving mine as he stilled allowing me to adjust to his size. It hurt but the pleasure he brought me out weighed the pain.

He began to thrust in and out slowly at first and I once again could already feel the beginnings of my orgasm coming on strong. I moaned and slid my hands up under the back of his shirt and dragged my nails down his back to his tight ass and squeezed, pulling him deeper into me.

"Fuck, oh god…yes Eric! God please, harder…faster." I begged.

He ran his hand up and down my leg before grasping it from behind my knee and pushing it forward towards my shoulder and he began thrusting into me with fervor. He was reaching so deep with this angle and I felt my walls constrict around him.

He kissed my lips one last time before raising his head slightly. I screamed out his name as I came while he stared into my eyes, it was so much more intense. He thrust two more times before collapsing as he released into me.

He held me close to his body afterwards for a few moments before I registered the shift in his breathing pattern and knew he had fallen asleep. God so much for getting him off my mind.

Panic began to rise in me as I considered what we had just done, he was good friends with Pam, well Ms. Ravencroft to me, and maybe more for all I know and he's a client. Maybe not mine since I'm just an intern but still, then there's the issue of his marriage and the pain I witnessed in his eyes a moment before he entered me.

On top of it all I felt such a strong connection to him, which was proven to me by my ability to allow him to have sex with me, to touch me so intimately. Something that I had not allowed anyone to do since that horrible night almost four years ago and I briefly wondered how it could possibly be any more difficult between us.

I slid out from under his arm and quickly righted my clothes, oddly enough I was still completely dressed. My skirt was around my waist and blouse hanging off of me but the only item missing was my underwear. I left them in his jeans pocket as I slipped into my shoes and called a taxi.

I watched through the window as the taxi pulled up happy that he had not woken, I wasn't quite ready to face him just yet. I let myself out closing the door quietly behind me. I kind of regretted not leaving a note but it's not like we couldn't find each other, I know where he lives and he knows where I work.

I had brunch with Amelia on Saturday and she was full of questions.

"So who was the hunk at the bar last night? Alcide was pissed if you hadn't noticed."

"First of all, I think you know that I could care less about Alcide's mood last night."

"I know." She said laughing as she cut me off. "I don't care either I just happened to think it was funny, and that guy you were talking to last night, mr-sex-on-a-stick. Was sooo much hotter than Alcide any day!"

"I know, right? Anyway, you will not believe this Amelia, but I went home with him last night."

"OH MY GOD! Wait, wait just a minute. Do you mean home with him as in had a coffee or glass of wine before heading to your home or do mean you WENT HOME WITH HIM?"

I laughed completely understanding why she had to clarify what I meant.

"I went home with him, as in I had sex last night for the first time in damn near four years and I had two of the best orgasms I have ever had." I clarified for her.

"Well shit Sook, that's great. I mean it is great right? Your happy that it happened?"

"Yes and no, the situation is so fucked up it couldn't possibly be any worse."

"Well talk to me about it, maybe you just need the opinion of an outsider. I'm all ears!" She said smiling brightly at me.

"Well for starters I…um well I met him at the firm. He's a client." Her eyes widened a little but she didn't say anything.

"He just filed for divorce and well I can't say much because of the privacy issue but the fact remains that he is a married man, and I think he's hurting more from it than he admits. He also happens to be very good friends with my boss, which has made me wonder if they aren't intimate at times I mean why else would he move here. He admitted last night that he really only knows her here."

"Hmm, yeah divorce can be tricky and if he still loves her it can be a real mess. As for your boss, you never know they could really be just friends. The fact that he's a client kind of floors me, that's not you at all."

"I know. I can't explain it fully, I was, no I am so drawn to him. I felt this connection with him right from the beginning which of course, is what made it possible for me to be with him at all."

"It must really be something for you to feel comfortable, I hate to say it because it is such a messy situation for you but I am so proud that you were able to…be with someone. He who shall remain nameless broke you, he broke your spirit and your trust in people, I'm glad this guy could help you find it again."

"Me too." I told her as we finished up and headed out to do a little shopping. We were both in need of school supplies and I had some text books to pick up.

The next two days were fairly quiet at both work and home. Tuesday morning was a little different I had been working in one of the back offices going over a case file for Ms. Ravencroft when she entered the room with what appeared to be a flower delivery.

"Looks like you have an admirer Sookie, these just came for you."

"Ah…thank you." I stammered because I had a pretty good idea who they were from.

I quickly looked at the flowers first, there were a half dozen each of two different flowers. One was pink in colour while the other was a lavender, they were beautiful and looked kind of exotic. I thought the one might be orchids but I wasn't sure.

I reached for the card and noticed that they had included the meaning to each flower, it didn't impress me much since I knew not many men actually paid attention to that stuff. I read the card first and it was written in the most elegant script I had ever seen before.

_My dearest Sookie,_

_I wanted you to know that I very much so had a wonderful night on Friday. I would like nothing more than to see you again, possibly take you to dinner next week, you have captured my eye Sookie, and I can think of nothing but you._

_Please consider my invitation and of course, say yes. _

_Eric Northman_

_555-4632_

I continued on to read the meaning of the flowers and was floored to see that he had quoted the orchid, does that mean he chose flowers that held the message he wanted to send? Does that mean somehow that he misses me…we just met!

Orchid: This exotic and amazing flower is meant to leave a long lasting impression, make sure to send an exotic orchid flower bouquet to someone who has captured your eye.

Statice: This wonderful flower creates the feeling of remembrance; statice is generally used in dried flower arrangements. It is also considered an herb and called "sea lavender." To show someone you miss them, never forget to include statice in your flower bouquet.

I didn't call him Tuesday or Wednesday as I was still a little confused by our situation. By Thursday he had decided to call me at the office and as happy as I was to hear his voice I was also a little nervous as my boss was sitting right next to me when Thalia put the call through.

She seemed to be eyeing me suspiciously but I knew I was just being paranoid. Since I couldn't really argue any points with him in my current situation I had agreed to meet him at his place for dinner Friday, I guess he didn't want to wait till next week.

As I hung up the phone I caught the tail end of what Thalia had been saying.

"…hot as hell, I'd do him in a heart beat."

"Most women would, he was quite the player before he settled down with Felicia. Mind you he was content being with just her after a while but he never would have married her, he didn't ever want to get married or have children for that matter."

"Why did he then?" Thalia asked.

"Well if you ask me she fabricated a pregnancy and supposedly miscarried when he was out of town. She didn't even call him, just waited till he got home. She just wanted the Northman name and now she has it."

That caught my attention, they were talking about Eric and I hadn't even known.

"Why would that really matter if she walks away with nothing but a house?" I couldn't help but ask.

"His name is just as important as his money in many circles and that house is worth a fortune. She could sell it, buy something equally as nice only smaller and still have a ton of cash to play with."

"Oh"

"Well I don't care to have his name." Thalia stated "I'd be just as happy having his dick in me."

"Thalia!" I exclaimed and Ms. Ravencroft just laughed.

"Are you ready for school?" Ms. Ravencroft asked us, I simply nodded while Thalia decided to tell her about the new law professor.

"He is supposed to be something else." She smiled

"Well you never know what's in store for you." Ms Ravencroft stated while she smiled slyly.

**A/N: Character's belong to Charlaine Harris**


	5. Chapter 5

**Eric POV:**

Friday just could not come fast enough for me, I hadn't gone a day since I met Sookie without thinking of her. I was a little uncomfortable when we first ran into each other at Firehouse 12, only because I knew she was more aware of my personal circumstances since she was going over my file.

She was so easy to be around though, I'd be willing to bet that some of that had to be that southern charm of hers that I was so taken with. She never said one thing, nor brought up anything that pertained to my case, so I was happy she could leave work at work.

The entire time I was in Sookie's presence I never gave one thought to my marriage, divorce, or even Felicia. Well not until I had to admit to being tested, I felt my body cringe at the mention of it. My pride was still paying a small price due to that whole situation.

I admit to being somewhat arrogant and vain. Yes, I know I am an attractive man, a very attractive man at that and I am also aware that I could pretty much have any woman I wanted with a few exceptions, happily married, woman not willing to give it up until marriage (which will not be happening again) lesbians, but even a lesbian will sometimes switch teams on occasion even if she isn't really bi-sexual.

So yes, my arrogance allowed my pride to take a beating. I honestly do not miss Felicia at all, I'm actually glad to be rid of her. I do love her but I would say that for most of our relationship I lusted after her just like I would any attractive woman, the love well that is more of a friend thing and even that didn't appear until recent years.

Now that's it's over I really am just disgusted well that and my damaged pride, nothing else. I'm not even angry nor was I when I caught her well I guess I had been briefly but it didn't take me long to realise that it was more my bruised ego than anything, that would be why I was able to be so calm about it and even leave her the house when she really deserved nothing.

Part of me knows my pride should not be an issue, it's not like I caught her with one man that would make me wonder what he has or could do that I didn't or couldn't. Christ, she was involved in an orgy. I couldn't possibly have enough hands, genitalia, or anything else to do everything that was happening in that room on my own, not to mention the fact that I do not have any female genitalia which she seemed to like.

I am also not interested in being pissed on, have anything shoved where it doesn't belong, raping, beating, or involving other people in my intimate affairs. So yeah, it should be pretty cut and dry but again this is where my arrogance gets in the way.

I was just pulling dinner out of the oven when I heard the light knock on the door and knew immediately that it was Sookie's timid knock. She was probably nervous as hell and I can't blame her.

"Hey" I said as I pulled the door open.

"Hi" She responded not really looking at me but passed me. "Look, I need to say this first ok?"

"Ok, go ahead."

"I didn't call because this is awkward for me, I hate that I met you through work, you're a client for christ sakes and…well that speaks for itself. I had a great time as well last week and have no problem being here but I would much rather not discuss anything work related. At least not for now…and thank you for the flowers."

I smiled at her grateful that she was so straight forward, I'd rather not discuss work tonight either. I was already trying to prepare myself for the onslaught of many very attractive, very friendly and very willing woman that would grace my classroom. I had finally been in a position at Harvard where most students knew not to even think about approaching me in any sexual manner, I was now starting over again.

"Your welcome, and that's great, I am in complete agreement with you, now please come in." I stepped aside letting her enter and very quickly snuck in a kiss on her cheek at which she blushed.

"Thank you, it smells delicious in here. Did you cook?"

"I did, I have many talents."

"I'm beginning to see that."

"I hope you don't mind but I went with something that most people seem to be ok with, Chicken breasts, rice, and vegetables."

"It sounds great."

We settled in eating dinner and making light conversation, and steering away from all area's of work. Not really thinking I brought up a story that involved Pam and she seemed to cringe.

"Are you ok? I guess Pam is a part of work for you. Right?"

"Yes, I really hate to think of what she would say if she knew about last weekend."

She stayed quiet for a few moments as did I. I was a little unsure of what to say, I mean Pam is one of my best friends and Sookie also works for her so obviously if things went much further she would know.

"I don't think she'd have a problem with us, maybe just that we could have said something before anything happened but you and I both know that it was not possible. Last weekend was unexpected…" I could tell she thought I also meant I was regretful which was not the case.

"Unexpected" I repeated. "but I don't regret it, I am happy we ended up at the same place. I wasn't happy though to wake up alone…on my floor. I missed feeling your body against mine when I woke."

Again, I couldn't help but smile as I thought back to the moment I released into her. It was the most intense orgasm I had ever experienced, even better than the last one Felicia had induced and Sookie didn't have to piss on me to make it happen.

I shuddered at the thought and than moved on to remember how it had been so intense with Sookie and how I thought it would never stop pumping into her and than I had been out like a light. That had never happened before.

I also made a promise to myself that that would be the last time I ever remember that incident with Felicia, especially in comparison to anything Sookie.

We continued to talk after dinner and Sookie told me all about her friends both here and in her hometown of Bon Temps, Louisiana. She mentioned that in the next year or two she intends to move back home.

She owns an old farmhouse that was left to her when her grandmother passed on a couple of years ago, and her brother and her old boss Sam take care of it for her. Her girlfriend Tara had been living there since shortly after it was left to her but had recently gotten married and moved in with her now husband, JB.

"I really miss home, I'm away from everyone. At least when I'm there and in my gran's house it feels like she's still with me, I don't feel that here."

"I'm sorry to hear that, so what about your parents are they still living in Bon Temps?"

"Oh gosh no, my parents were both killed in a car accident when I was seven. My gran raised us, that's why I miss her so much."

Holy fuck…this girl just does not get a break.

"Sorry, didn't mean to bring it up. I didn't know, so what about your brother? Are you close?" I asked knowing he was alive as he helps care for her property.

"Not anymore no, we were growing up but he hates that I left to make something of myself besides a waitress in a small town. Plus when gran changed her will he was pissed, our parents had left us some money and a house and he moved there when he was 18. He's two years older so that was…gosh almost nine years ago I guess. Anyway, gran knew he would try to make me sell the farmhouse and property so she asked me if I'd be willing to sign my share of our parents house over to him if she left everything to me."

She hesitated and looked like she wanted to add something and then she looked me in the eye as she spoke.

"I know it might sound selfish, that I was willing to give my brother my share of a home and property that is barely worth a third of what my gran left me, but like her I want it left in our family. Not sectioned off and sold like Jason would have me do. That's why I'm going back."

"What do you plan to do when you go back?"

"Well I'm going to find someone to start up a law firm with, it's what I'm interested in doing. I have enough money left from my trust fund to put into that and there are no lawyer's in or around Bon Temps, not even in Monroe County or near by Parishes. Shreveport has one but it's an hour away and nobody really likes him."

She smiled at me and I could tell that she was the type that when she set her mind to something it was going to happen and these plans were no different. I guess it was her choice to find a lawyer that wanted to move to some small town and she would clerk for him or her basically run the office. I felt a small tug at my heart as she spoke of moving away from me.

"Then I am going to start a family, how I don't know." She said as she laughed "There isn't anyone I can think of back home that I would want to raise a family with but I definitely want one and there isn't anyway of keeping my home in the family if there isn't one. Right?"

I damn near chocked on that thought. Sookie going home and having children with someone else…_someone else? _What does that even mean, am I saying that I would want that to be me as opposed to _someone else? _

It was time to excuse myself from the table for a moment. I went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face, of course I didn't mean that. What have we met like three times and my mind is thinking family, I don't intend to ever marry again much less have children.

My traitor thoughts reminded me that I had never intended to marry in the first place and here I was seeking a divorce.

I found Sookie curled up in the same spot on the couch and grabbed us each a glass of wine before joining her. We had decided on watching a movie, but really didn't see much of it as our lips had found each other again and didn't want to be separated.

This time I brought her to my bed and explored her body, as she did mine. I sucked in an unsteady breath as she took my erection into her mouth, I could still taste her on my lips and fingers as I brought them to my mouth again. She couldn't take all of me but did her best and wrapped her tiny fingers around what she couldn't fit in her mouth.

Her hot lips ran up and down my length as she sucked and licked at me, I could feel her teeth grazing me every so often as she would release all but my head where she would stop to lap up any pre cum that kept spilling from me.

She moaned out my name telling me how much she loved to taste me and I shot my load down her throat. She sucked and licked at me until every last bit of my release was cleaned off of me.

I pulled her up my body and she straddled my hips as she leaned forward kissing me, I loved the taste of both her and I mingled together on our lips and was quickly getting hard again. It was definitely helpful that she was sliding her slick folds up and down my shaft as she nibbled on my lower lip.

She raised her hips and slowly slid down over my hard length, she rode me for the better part of a half hour. Stopping and slowing every time she thought one of us might be close, it was pure heavenly torture.

When we finally came together it was insane, we both exploded yelling out each others names mixed with expletives and we lied there whispering incoherently to one another as we tried to catch our breath.

She didn't leave me this time I woke hours later to a pitch dark room and Sookie curled up in my arms. I kissed her temple then the corner of her mouth which she reacted to and pulled my lip between her teeth as our hands began to explore again.

I took her from behind this time as she climbed on all fours and wagged her tight little ass at me. The angle was so deep it felt like I could climb inside of her, she met me thrust for thrust as she pushed back against me. I can't even describe what just the sound of her ass smacking against my hips did for me, I felt her walls once again clench around my rock hard erection as I gently pulled back on her hair bringing her beautiful shoulder to my lips and I went over the edge with her.

When I woke in the morning Sookie was gone this time, but she had left me a note telling me she had plans with Amelia for brunch. She said she was sorry she forgot to mention it last night and didn't want to wake me as I looked so peaceful.

That would be the last I would see of her before getting the shock of my life come Monday morning….

**A/N: Character's belong to Charlaine Harris**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry, this was supposed to be posted sooner as I stated to some but sleep actually took me last night…so at least I am rested which may allow for another posting after this one today!**

**Sookie Pov:**

"Hey Sook!" Amelia called out as she crossed Whalley Ave. to join me in front of Bella's Café for our weekly brunch.

"Hi, my goodness. Can you believe that we go back to school in less than two days? It's crazy!"

"I know. Oh I've got some hot gossip! Professor Mason already has her hooks into the new hot prof. She said she took him for dinner on Wednesday then showed him around town a little."

"Amelia, I have no idea why one: you are so interested in what the faculty are up to and two: why you continue to hang on every word Mason says. You know she tries to sink her teeth into any of the new staff that are worthy of a second glance."

"I know, I know, but she said that he seemed interested. I bet you'll die when you see him, she says he is the best looking man that has graced the halls of Yale for as long as she has been here."

"I guess we'll see come Monday. Now do you plan on eating today or would you rather spend the day gossiping about inconsequential crap?"

"One day all my inconsequential crap" She mocked " will actually mean something to you. Then, you'll be thanking me."

I spent the rest of the day doing absolutely nothing, I was in bed by 10:00pm reading through one of the text books I had picked up last weekend. It was after 11:00pm before I found myself lying down and my mind wandering to my second interlude with Eric.

I'm not a fool, so I am not deluding myself into thinking that what we have can go anywhere, I meant what I said. I am going home once I graduate and using what little I have left of my trust fund as well as some of my savings if need be.

That being said, it doesn't mean that I won't continue to see him, I feel like it's therapeutic for me, _he_ is therapeutic for me. I am getting better everyday.

Sunday went by in a blur, I hadn't heard from Eric at all which was a little disconcerting but I was getting over it. I had to force myself to put my cell down a few times, physically stopping myself when I would realise that I wanted to call him.

For some reason I wanted to leave it to him to do the calling, I guess that was because we had only gotten together twice and both times I had gone and slept with him so I wanted for him to show that he was still interested.

Amelia and I made dinner together and she went on to tell me that she had seen mr-sex-on-a-stick this afternoon with a fairly tall blond.

"So are you and the hunk getting serious at all, Sookie?"

"I don't know what we are really, we barely know one another and I've only seen him two times."

"Well yeah but do you get any vibes from him?"

"Where is this coming from, Amelia? I told you he is not even divorced yet, all of that is still fresh with him. I'm sure he's just testing the waters again." I said a little too sadly for my own liking.

"And your ok with that, I mean the whole testing the waters. Isn't that kind of just using you to get over his wife?"

"You know, I just don't know how I feel about it all but I guess in a way I'm using him too…sort of. For comfort anyway. I know that when I'm with him I can't believe how good it feels and I am even more shocked by how connected I feel to him…like I care about him. Which I admit makes no sense because let's face it, he's practically a stranger."

"Can I tell you something without you freaking out?"

"Fine, Amelia. Spit it out, I already know who this is about since your asking so many questions." I huffed.

"I seen him today, he was having lunch with an attractive blond."

"It was probably my Ms. Ravencroft, I told you they were good friends."

I answered nonchalantly although I was really feeling anything but unconcerned by the whole thing. What I really wanted to do was march over to her office now that my summer internship was over and I no longer worked with her, rip the hair from her head and tell her to stay the hell away from my man.

_My man? _And when exactly had I become so…barbaric?

"Well, I hate to say it but they looked too…comfortable, almost too intimate to be just friends. He didn't seem to do much but I noticed that she was really touchy feely with him. It was almost painful to watch, like she couldn't keep her hands off of him."

I fucking knew it! I wasn't going to sit back and wait to find anything out now, I'll just ask him. I think I have a right to know. We are having sex, he said he was tested and clean a couple of months ago but if he's getting around how would he really know?

"You ok, Sook? You kind of zoned out on me."

"Hmm…oh yeah, I'm…good. I already kind of wondered about that myself but I thought I was just being ridiculously jealous which I have no right to be."

I know I shouldn't feel so heart broken or angry but I am. I tried to mask the hurt I felt, I didn't want Amelia to witness how much I'd fallen in such a short period. Unfortunately, I was not successful.

"I'm Sorry Sook" She said as she hugged me tightly "it'll all be ok, it has to be. There just can not be a higher being on this planet who would allow you to be so broken in such a way, then send you this saviour only to take him from you. I refuse to believe it." She whispered.

"Saviour, Amelia?" I choked out unsuccessfully trying to hold back a nervous laugh. "Take what from me? The sex we're having? It's not like we're in a relationship!"

"Stop it, I know you don't honestly find that funny." She scolded me " I've known you too long for you to fool me with this phoney laughter. I know your not really 'together' but I also know that he is responsible for the new, well not really new you but for slowly bringing the old you back to the living. Back to us."

She pulled back to look me in the eyes before she continued "You were just sort of coasting through life the past few years, not really living or even feeling…I've missed you so much!"

We both cried knowing that she was right, I'd never felt more alive than I did after being with Eric. I was well on my way to healing and it was about time after all these years, I had thought once I had let go of the guilt and stopped blaming myself that it would heal itself…but it hadn't.

I went to bed early not wanting to be worn out or tired for my first day back in a classroom. I was excited to be starting what would be my final year in school, my final year away from home…

I remember wondering briefly before my eyelids flittered then closed as I drifted off, why I hadn't heard from him in what would be two days in a few short hours. Maybe I was just a fleeting thought, and now that the waters had been tested he could move on.

I woke before my alarm, that's if I had slept much at all. It had been a pretty restless sleep for me and I had the puffy eyes to prove it. It's funny how one night you can sleep like the dead…or a baby, which ever makes more sense. Than the next toss and turn, barely sleep a wink from something as simple as…well 'nothing'. Nothing meaning no activity, no contact, no actions or words.

For someone who was up before my alarm I still managed to be rushing last minute into my very first class of the year. I was really hoping the new professor wouldn't care that I was sipping on my coffee through his lecture, usually it's not a problem but some can be pretty anal.

I quickly scanned the room and was happy to note that he didn't appear to be in class yet either. Maybe he wanted to make a grand entrance with being so hot an all, let us all worship him from afar as he entered.

I found a seat about half way back and got settled, pulling out my laptop and a notepad, pencil and my trusty coffee. I knew he had entered the class as I heard a collective gasp and murmurs floating through the air all around me, I looked up but he was hidden from my view and of course Professor Mason was hovering over him.

She was obviously going to be a few moments late for her own class, I suppose she was just attempting to mark her territory in front of us lowly students. I chuckled to myself at how ridiculous she was being if she thought that were necessary.

I hadn't really been paying too much attention as I was looking over the required text book list to ensure that I had in fact managed to pick up everything I needed. So when I heard my name being called by a vaguely familiar voice as I brought my coffee to my lips I damn near choked on it.

I was currently staring across the room looking into the eyes of the hot new professor…who was none other than Eric Northman?!

Time seemed at a stand still and it felt as though I were outside of my body watching as everything seemed to be happening in the slowest of motion in that moment, coffee was sputtering from my mouth as I tried and failed to control the choking cough that seemed it would never end and the coffee cup fell from my hands spilling onto the floor. Thank god there hadn't been much left.

Eric looked stunned for the briefest of moments before he quickly recovered and his face held nothing but indifference as he nodded once, looked down, checked off my name and moved on to the next.

I shouldn't have been so surprised, of course he was no longer interested. I thought back to something I had once heard my gran say: you need to play at least a little hard to get because men often think things like "why marry the cow when you can get the milk free".

Well here's an update for you, Professor Northman! Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why you ask? Because women realize its not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage! Obviously there is nothing little about Eric, but screw him!

Numerous girls around the class could not keep their eyes off of him through the entire lecture, some going so far as to ask him questions or make statements that were very clearly full of double entendre's or they were just outright coming on to him.

And although he never encouraged it I certainly didn't see him trying to discourage any of their behaviour. He was also clearly going out of his way to completely ignore me. Not that I was trying to get his attention but when I would catch his eye as I was trying my damnedest to take in the lecture he would either look…angry maybe? Or the more common reaction where he would mostly just continue to sport the disinterested look and turn away from me.

He was such an asshole!

Once he started us reading a section from one our text books he walked around handing out the first assignment to everyone, letting us know that we had an entire week to complete it. As he dropped the sheet next to my laptop he asked that I stay after class for a moment.

"Could you spare a moment after class, Suzannah?" I wanted to rip his tongue out of his mouth for using my given name!

Holy crap…again I wondered where this barbaric behaviour was coming from…

"It's Sookie" I hissed through clenched teeth "and sure I can as long as it's brief. I have somewhere I need to be, Professor Northman."

It was probably wrong of me on so many levels but that statement affected me in more ways than one. The first being that I think it totally turned me on referring to a man I had just fucked senseless two nights ago as Professor, and another being that I think I actually enjoyed watching him visibly flinch when I spoke his name.

It was probably only ten minutes before class was over that it suddenly occurred to me that since Eric, my Eric is the new hot professor everyone was talking about. That he is also the new professor that Mason had mentioned to Amelia…he had been out with Professor Mason last week…Douche! Oh and Pam yesterday…'_they looked too comfortable, too intimate to be just friends'_ is what she had said. Fucking double douche!

I really didn't want to give him the time of day right now, I was way too pissed and would most probably say something maybe even many something's that I will regret.

I started packing up my bag as the class was slowly emptying out, I had decided that I would stay and hear what he has to say and hopefully bite my tongue until I wasn't quite so angry with him.

I stayed seated in my chair and waited for him to approach me, I might be willing to listen but I'll be damned if I was going to go to him.

I could tell Eric was deep in thought as he made his way to me, he stopped and leaned against the chair in front of my desk, crossing one ankle over the other looking like he belonged on the cover of GQ. His Jeans were snug but not near tight and hung low on his hips and he wore a button down shirt with the sleeves rolled part way up his forearms.

Neither of us spoke for a moment, though we had finally made eye contact and held it. He was staring at me intently like he was looking into my eyes for the answers to whatever questions his mind held. That was the first time that I noticed the small fine lines that formed along the edges of his eyes as he narrowed them at me, I imagined that when he smiled it caused the same effect.

It's hard to explain how what can only be explained as the start of crows feet can look so fucking sexy on a man, but he sure as hell pulled it off.

I knew he was about to say something based first off of the determined look that his eyes took on and just as he opened his mouth the classroom door squeaked open and he looked back over his shoulder.

"Oh sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to make sure we were still good for 4:00?"

My body reacted all on it's own as I jumped up and my chair crashed to the floor behind me, Eric's head spun back around to face me and he had a horrified look on his face.

"Asshole" I quietly hissed as I grabbed my bag and started to walk away.

"Excuse me?"

"There's no excuse for you." I mumbled and kept on walking out the door, praying that the tears I could feel pricking at the backs of my eyes wouldn't fall as I passed Professor Mason….

**A/N: Next chapter we'll hear from Eric what he's been up to and what exactly was running through his mind during his first class! Not to worry it won't be long for the next chapter as I'm already working on it.**

**A/N: All character's are the property of Charlaine Harris. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Eric POV:**

I hated waking up without Sookie in my arms now that I knew what it felt like to wake with her curled up next to me. That thought along with my memories of last nights conversation left me with an extremely perplexing feeling…I had never been more confused by anything in my life.

My treacherous mind seemed all to willing to fuck with me, my thoughts were taking me from one extreme to the next. I was a man who never wanted to marry nor had I had any real interest in being a father.

There was no reason for not wanting children, it's not like I hated them or even the thought of them. More like I knew and hated that a child would tie me someone far more and for far longer than I ever wanted.

It would seem that I didn't quite hate the thought so much where Sookie was concerned and that threw me for a loop. I had met the woman all of three times and was practically naming our children!

I admit I am currently a little freaked out by these thoughts, I wanted to talk to Sookie, I wanted to call her but it just wasn't in the cards for today. Tomorrow I would, maybe by then my rational thought process will have returned and I won't be left feeling quite so…uncertain?

I spent the day doing nothing of any real consequence, a little light reading and I prepared for my first lecture of the year. Making sure I was prepared to put all the little darlings in their place from day one, it never did any good to put it off and let them think that they could flirt their way to a good mark or into my pants for that matter.

After spending Saturday very much alone I fell into a restless sleep I was not at all interested in spending Sunday the same way. I called Pam making plans to get together over lunch, she seemed rather happy to hear from as I hadn't talked to her in a few days at least.

We agreed to meet at Consiglio's for 1:00 and I quickly looked over my lesson plan for tomorrow before hopping in the shower. I was a couple of minutes late and Pam had already secured us a table.

She smiled warmly and stood to greet me, I attempted to place a chaste kiss on her cheek but she had turned her face and the kiss landed on the corner of her mouth. I felt a little awkward about it but brushed it off, it's not like we hadn't kissed before.

I was glad to be out of the house and conversing with another human being as opposed the internal debate I continued to have with myself.

Pam was acting a little differently then usual…more physical, she kept leaning forward and making contact with me. Sometimes just a quick stroke of my arm or hand while other times she'd rest her hand on me, leaving it there for a few moments.

I kept debating on talking to her about Sookie, but for the first time in our long friendship I was unsure of whether or not I could. Not because she was behaving differently, but because she was Sookie's boss and I didn't want to cause any issues between the two.

Instead I chose to tell her about Claire, well Professor Mason to most. I had had to attend a couple of faculty meetings in the week or so before classes started up and she was more than friendly as she welcomed me to the school.

I had met her once the week before and she had told me about Firehouse 12 and how it was well known for it's success in bringing in wonderful Jazz musicians, which I should really thank her for as that is how/why I came to run into Sookie in the first place.

She mentioned a few of them were meeting for a bite to eat and thought I should join them, get to know a few people. I could hardly say no as they all joined in our conversation.

Her and I showed up first and ordered dinner for ourselves, it was only moments later that three more people joined us that I recognized as my new co-workers. When the waitress approached them they only ordered drinks stating that they didn't normally eat when they got together.

I had glanced towards Claire, who would not look at me and I had a pretty good feeling that I had just been roped into what she might have thought of as a dinner date. The others left after the one drink and I was left alone with her.

She was more than nice and friendly, conversation was casual. She didn't flirt much and was funny so I chose not to call her on her shit, but it wouldn't happen again. She pointed out a few more interesting places to check out a later date and then hinted that we should do it together sometime.

I told her it wouldn't be a good idea as I was kind of seeing someone, I know one night together doesn't mean your 'seeing' someone but I wasn't interested in Claire. I was however more than interested in seeing Sookie again. I had sent her flowers the day before in hopes that she felt the same.

I left out the seeing someone and the Sookie portion as I described the evenings events to Pam, she had laughed it off saying that I was just too damn good looking for my own good and that all women fall over me.

Pam ended up coming back to my place, I hadn't invited her but was glad for the company. We spent a couple of hours talking about everything, the mistake that Felicia had been, my marriage and now impending divorce.

"I'm just glad she is out of the picture, Eric." She stated as the arm she had draped over the back of the couch came forward and she squeezed my shoulder. "I hated seeing you all the time and not having the benefits option that always worked so well for us."

"Yeah, well nothing lasts forever, right?" I replied uneasily.

"Always the pragmatist. Didn't you miss the comfort of our arrangement? No strings, no bullshit. Just hot, hard sex."

I wasn't at all comfortable with where I knew this conversation was going and wanted to stop the direction immediately.

"That was a long time ago, Pam. We've both moved on from it, it's not the same anymore."

"It can be." She stated before leaning forward and attacking my lips with hers so quickly that I hadn't even registered what she was doing.

I sat frozen for a moment while her lips moved against mine and was almost tempted to respond in kind, she was familiar, our history was never complicated or confusing…but she wasn't Sookie.

I placed my hands on her shoulder and gently pushed her away, she had a bewildered look on her face and looked somewhat hurt by my actions.

"Pam I told you when I was here for weekend that I didn't want this."

"No" She spoke quietly "You said you weren't ready, so I waited for you. I know it hasn't been very long but you seem so much more like yourself again, your happy and well…just you so I assumed…" She trailed off.

"You assumed what, that I would automatically want to jump into fucking you again?" I asked hearing and not really caring that I was being almost rude in my bluntness.

"No, I've always regretted that we were so casual about everything, I realised what I had lost when things between you and Felicia heated up enough that you didn't need me anymore. I hated her for taking that part of you from me."

I sat back my mouth probably gaping as I tried to take in what she was saying to me, I didn't say a word and just let her continue.

"It broke my heart to watch you marry her, I knew it would never work with you two so I waited. Why do you think I've never settled down, Eric? I've been waiting for you, it was always you."

I watched as she offered me a hopeful smile and hated that I was about to ruin her moment, but I didn't feel the same.

"You deciding to move here to be near me, and this job at Yale falling into your lap. It was the sign I needed and I knew it was our time. Don't you see how fate has brought you here to me, to us. I love you, I always have so no I don't expect you to just start fucking me again as you so graciously put it. I want you to be with me, to give us a chance."

"Fuck" I took a moment to think, very quickly averting my eyes. I didn't want to see the hope that hers held. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"I'm seeing someone, Pam" I heard her gasp but still refused to look at her as I spoke. "and as much as I love you, it's not in that way. Everything you just mentioned, all the things that brought me here. Yes, I feel like it was fate as well, bringing me to the most charming, vivacious, intelligent, sexy, kind and caring, endearing, soft hearted woman I could ever find." There were not enough words to even begin to describe this woman, my Sookie.

I hesitated knowing that my words were most probably almost cruel to her ears given her admission to me, but I had to make her understand where I was coming from. Christ I had to make myself understand as this was the first truly honest admission I had made to myself all weekend.

"She makes me want to be a better man, to feel and I mean really feel. She makes me think about wanting things that I've never wanted before. I want the chance to care for her, to love her. Hell I barely know her but she makes me think that maybe…just maybe marriage and a family are something I could want one day."

"What do you mean you barely know her? How can you claim all these things if you don't even know her?"

"It's just like you said, Pam. Fate. It's simple, she's it for me. I think I knew it the moment I laid eyes on her, something changed for me and I think for her too but I won't know that until I talk to her."

"Have you been with her?"

"As inappropriate as that question actually is, Pam, yes I have."

She didn't say anything else, she simply stood up grabbed her purse and walked out the door. Maybe I should have stopped her, tried to talk more but I didn't have it in me at the moment.

I didn't really need this right now, my life was fucked up enough as it is. Between everything that happened with Felicia, my divorce, meeting Sookie, my feelings for Sookie, and now this shit with Pam. I was pretty much down for the count.

I was currently more than a little floored by my own revelations, I had never believed nor would I have imagined that something that felt so akin to love at first sight would happen…to me. I knew it wasn't quite love, but something close, very close.

If I were being honest as well I would have to admit that I was scared to death realising that my feelings for a woman had morphed so quickly and un-expectantly.

Not to mention how scared I was of losing her once she became aware of how strongly I felt. She would think it too soon, she might even consider what I deem to be fate to be more of an obsession, and I couldn't really blame her.

It was these thoughts and this entire situation that left me unable to call her, at least not today. I didn't want to rush anything or scare her off, I'll send her some flowers tomorrow so she knows I am thinking of her and then I'll go from there.

I slept a little better with knowledge and better understanding of my feelings and was looking forward to starting my first day of classes. I was already running late as I had stopped to have another bouquet of flowers delivered to Sookie, so I was a little annoyed when Claire practically ran me over in the hall.

She followed me into my class and was asking me if I was free at the end of the day, she had dropped her car off at the shop and needed to pick it up but didn't have a ride. I said yes to get her out of the class and out of my hair.

My first class was with third year law students, I preferred these classes as they were usually pretty much already lawyers in knowledge anyway. Grading their work was a much more enjoyable task then a first year student.

I got started with class attendance, trying to familiarize myself with faces and names. I hesitated for a moment and smiled as I read the last name of my next student.

"Stackhouse, Suzannah?" I questioned as I looked around the room.

Although she never raised her hand or grunted a 'here' there was no mistaking who the name belonged to as she looked up from the paper she was reading and spat her coffee across her desk and laptop. Her eyes were big and round as saucers and I am sure mine were close to that as well, but I quickly masked my obvious shock and moved on to the next person on the list.

A few students laughed at her reaction, not understanding it at all.

'What the fuck was Sookie doing here? In my class…was she not a secretary at Pam's office?' I was completely at a loss for words. It didn't take me long to wonder what this could possibly mean for us.

I have no idea how I managed to coast through class without too much issue. I was fully aware of the woman around me making comments and the innuendo in their responses to me, but my mind was too preoccupied to deal with it today.

What the fuck am I supposed to do now? I had never given thought to carrying on a relationship with a student. It was morally wrong and just not acceptable by any standards to the school.

I was getting angry with myself for being so fucking thrown off by this, my students must think me mad as I scowl to myself about nothing known to them.

How do I feel about continuing a relationship with a student? Even if it was one that started before we knew the dynamics of it. Shit. How does she feel about having a relationship with one of her professors? One that would now have to remain hidden.

There was no putting anything off now, I asked her to stay after class with the intention of convincing her to meet me this evening. I thought it best to keep this conversation off school property.

I called her by her given name, not meaning anything by it but it obviously pissed her off. I was a little confused by the anger that seemed to be emanating off of her.

I cringed when she called me Professor Northman but mainly due to the hostility her voice housed. As much as it was an unwanted reminder of the situation I now find myself in it still un-expectantly caused a slight stirring down below as Eric Jr jumped to attention.

I was so fucked right now!

Sookie seemed to resign herself to the fact that we needed to talk and remained seated as everyone left the room. I closed the door and made my way to her, I was happy to note that although she didn't look overly enthused she wasn't quite as angry and maintained eye contact with me as leaned back against the chair in front of her.

I also hadn't missed that her eyes had visibly roamed my body once again as I approached her. It was nice to know that at least she was still able to find me physically appealing even in her anger. Anger that I did not understand but intended to by the end of this conversation.

What happened next was like a bad dream or something, I heard the door creak behind me and was annoyed to see Claire poke her fucking head in as I looked back.

"Oh sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to make sure we were still good for 4:00?"

I was about to snap a quick response at her when Sookie's chair slammed against the floor. 'What the fuck?' is what I was thinking until I seen the combination of anger, confusion and hurt cross her face.

I was horrified as I realised that she must think I have plans with Claire, possibly a date which was absolutely fucking not the case.

"Asshole" She shocked me by calling me an asshole under her breath, I don't know if I was meant to hear it or not but I did.

What?? "Excuse me?"

"There's no excuse for you." She whispered as she continued on passed me.

I couldn't say anything, I couldn't stop her with Claire standing there. It wasn't concern for myself that stopped me, if it wouldn't have affected her just as much disciplinary action wise, I think I would have said fuck Claire and made sure Sookie understood what had just happened.

The rest of my day was long as hell, and I kept seeing the look on her face as she cursed at me. I was pissed at the way this shit was playing out and I barely said a word to Claire as I dropped her off at the shop her car was at. I was even more pissed to realise that it was so close to the god damned school she could have walked.

She caused a problem for Sookie and I over one of her fucking games to get me alone.

I had no idea where Sookie lived and was not about to call Pam looking for an address so I spent the next two hours calling her cell every few minutes until she finally answered in a non too friendly tone.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

"Sookie, please. We need to talk."

"There isn't much to talk about, Professor." So she was back to that and no matter how frustrated I was with her, I was once again rock hard.

"First of all that was not what you think, please come over so we can figure this shit out." She was silent which I felt was a good sign, at least she was thinking and not reacting just yet.

"Fine" She huffed "but I haven't had dinner and I'm starving so I expect to be fed."

I smiled at her through the phone, I knew she was being sarcastic but her comment was enough to convince me that things might be just fine….

**A/N: So what do you think? Will their lives be filled with nothing but (sugar coated candies and roses) happiness from this point on, or could there possibly be more drama to come??**

**I don't know about you but I'd take the drama any day as long as Eric comes along for the '_ride' _ ;p**

**A/N: All Characters belong to Charlaine Harris.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sookie POV:**

"_**There's no excuse for you." I mumbled and kept on walking out the door, praying that the tears I could feel pricking at the backs of my eyes wouldn't fall as I passed Professor Mason…. **_

I felt the first traitor tear slide down my cheek as my eyes betrayed me, and I was glad that I had at least made it past them both. I quickly wiped it away refusing to allow myself to be so upset. I was ashamed that someone I barely know could have this affect on me.

I was so angry when Mason basically confirmed what Amelia had already told me which left me feeling conflicted as I tried to understand how I had any right to even be angry, I mean we are nothing to each other.

Only that was where I was wrong, I was angry because he had hurt me and he was only able to hurt me because he did mean something to me. Somehow he had made me feel like what happened between us mattered to him, when obviously it hadn't.

I had been so deep in thought that I hadn't noticed Thalia approach me.

"What the hell was that about Sookie? Shit, I thought you were seriously going to choke to death." She said while chuckling.

"Oh it's nothing, I guess I was just really surprised that Eric Northman is the new professor and Ms. Ravencroft never even mentioned it. She had to know about it."

"Yeah, she did know. I just got off the phone with her, I called her to ream her out for not telling me when I told her that I'd like to fuc-"

"I get it Thalia, I was there remember." I cut her off, the last thing I wanted to do was imagine him being intimate with one more woman that I know. Gosh, I really have to stop feeling sorry for my self.

"I thought she'd laugh her ass off when I told her about your reaction to seeing him here, but she didn't. I don't get her, I mean that was some funny shit and she didn't say a word."

I brushed Thalia off and headed off to my next class, I didn't want to be rude but I just wanted to get through my day and get home. Hopefully Amelia would be around, at least I could actually talk to her and not worry about holding anything back.

She hadn't been home when I arrived and when I heard a knock at the door I thought maybe she had forgotten her key. Only it wasn't Amelia, I was quite surprised as I opened the door to Ms. Ravencroft holding a bouquet of flowers.

"Ms. Ravencroft! Umm…well this is quite the surprise."

"Yes, I imagine so, and please I've told you before to call me Pam. These were delivered for you today, I guess whoever sent them wasn't aware that you wouldn't be with us anymore. I thought you might want them."

I couldn't help but feel just a little happy at the fact that Eric had been thinking about me sometime in the last two days to have these sent. I really wanted to see what he had chosen this time but I didn't want to share that with Ms. Ravencroft er I mean Pam.

My phone had been vibrating like crazy where it sat on the counter and I knew it would only be Eric again, he had started calling me since a few minutes after four. I guess things didn't go so well with Professor Mason.

I had been watching my phone so intently that I hadn't noticed that Pam was now standing in my kitchen with me as opposed to being on the other side of my door, and she had a strange look on her face.

"What?" I asked her feeling somewhat awkward.

"Your not going to answer your phone?"

"No" I responded. "It's not important." I lied.

"Hmm, well let's get a look at these flowers of yours." I never really spent much time with Pam but I could tell something was definitely off with her.

"Is um…everything ok, Pam? You seem….a little stressed or something."

"Let's cut the shit, shall we. How long have you been seeing him, Sookie?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Sookie, I like you I really do but don't play coy with me. Eric might buy your country bumpkin bullshit but I don't, just answer the question please."

"I'm not seeing anyone, but if I were it would be none of your business."

My phone started vibrating again for about the third time since Pam and I were standing in my kitchen and this time she had the nerve to walk over and look at the caller ID. She narrowed her eyes at me and I knew that it had been Eric again.

"Something is going on with you two, he's calling you, sending you flowers, and he says he is seeing someone-"

"What do you mean sending me flowers? Did you seriously open my card?" I asked cutting her off as I reached for the envelope and sure enough, it had been opened. "Jesus, are you serious? Have you not ever heard of privacy?"

"I apologize but I needed to know. I never would have suspected you of all people but when Thalia called me about Eric today and told me about your… reaction, it all just seemed to fall into place. Not that I would have been certain, but the flowers confirmed that for me."

I was confused as to why she would be here in my kitchen, demanding answers at that.

"Why are you here? I would think that Eric being a long time friend and all that you would find it more appropriate to discuss this with him."

"I just needed for you to confirm it for some reason, but you stand here insulting him." What? Insulting him? "Letting his calls go unanswered and denying any relationship with him while he speaks of how strongly he feels about you, and ridiculously wanting to be a better man for you." She huffed at me.

My phone was vibrating again as Pam spoke.

"Look, I don't have to justify myself to you or anyone else. If he has already told you about…us then why are you here talking to me, and what do you mean a better man? There is nothing wrong with the man he is now, well aside from his playboy tendencies."

"Playboy tendencies? Please he won't touch anyone else, believe me. Look, he didn't say it was you as I said I didn't put it together until Thalia called, but you just confirmed it. As for why I am here talking to you…" She seemed reluctant to continue for a moment.

"He is my best friend and is very important to me, I love him and would never want to see him hurt."

Although she called him her best friend and tried to make it seem as though she loved him in that way, I didn't miss the very brief look of sadness that covered her face. Something told me that her feelings were more than just friendly where Eric was concerned.

"I knew once the flowers confirmed everything that finding out he was your professor would cause a problem and I can't stand to see you hurt him. I have never seen him the way he was on Saturday when he spoke of you, you've brought him back to us."

Her words were familiar to me and I remembered Amelia saying that he had done the same for me as well. I hated this, I hated feeling so conflicted.

"He'll kill me for saying this, but he thinks that fate brought him here…to you."

"What? Fate? You said yourself that he didn't tell you who it was, it could be about anyone."

"Cut the shit, Sookie. He wants you, and I think you know it. Christ he's only called you a dozen times since I've been here now answer the fucking phone!" She ordered as she picked up my cell that was currently vibrating again.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

I demanded while I smirked at a now glowering Pam. It's not like she really understand what was actually going on, she thought this was just about that fact that I was apparently fucking my professor.

"Sookie, please. We need to talk." His hearing voice again caused my breath to hitch.

"There isn't much to talk about, Professor." I thought Pam looked as though she might very well hurt me as I spoke.

"First of all that was not what you think, please come over so we can figure this shit out." I was assuming he was referring to Professor Mason but wasn't certain.

"Fine, but I haven't had dinner and I'm starving so I expect to be fed." I was still angry so the sarcasm could not be helped.

We quickly made arrangements for me to go to his place and after hanging up I placed the phone back on the counter and turned back to Pam but she was gone. I took a moment to try and wrap my head around everything that Pam had just told me, and as much as I had a hard time believing that the things he had said to her could be about me I still found myself hopeful that it was.

It didn't take me long to arrive at Eric's, I had been nervous on the way over unsure of what to expect if anything from all of this. As uncomfortable as it had been to realise how I believe Pam to feel about Eric, I was also happy that she had come over and said the things that she had or I may not have bothered to hear him out just yet.

During my walk over I thought back to how I had been convinced that things could not have been more complicated between Eric and I. I laughed out loud at the thought earning a cautious look from an older lady sitting on her porch, I guess being my professor definitely adds to the list of complications.

I was surprised that he took me into his arms without hesitation as he closed the door behind me. He only held me briefly and placed a quick kiss on my cheek as he invited me in. He offered me Chinese saying that he had ordered in, not having time to cook today.

We were about half way through our meal when he finally spoke.

"I'd like to talk about what happened earlier, with Claire." He noticed the confused look on my face and continued. "Professor Mason to you, I know there is so much more to address as well but I would like to get that out of the way first. Why is that you reacted so strongly to her question? I can understand how it looked but you didn't allow me the chance to explain."

I went on to tell him about Amelia being her TA last year, how they still talk now and that she had been going on about the new professor.

"She said you went to dinner last week and sight seeing, she made it clear that she was interested in you and that you had reciprocated that interest. I didn't know it was you at the time, not till today. I probably would have asked you about her soon enough but…"

"You felt that it was confirmation enough when she interrupted us today." He stated.

"Yes" I replied. A little embarrassed by my reaction, though I still felt it was warranted.

"Can I tell you about it?" He asked seeming unsure that I would hear him out.

"Of course, I'm here aren't I? That's what I came for, well not just an explanation on that because I agree there is so much more to…talk about.

He told me how he had met Claire twice during faculty meetings and how she got him to meet a group for what was supposed to be dinner, only it ended up just being the two of them after a brief period. She hinted at wanting to show him places around town, about hanging out one night but he told her he it wouldn't be a good idea because he was seeing someone, adding in that he knew that we weren't exactly together or anything but that he isn't interested in anyone else.

Then he went on to explain that this morning she had cornered him asking for a ride at four to pick up her car that was in the shop.

"That's it, there is nothing more. I have no interest in her." He watched me carefully as though he were trying to determine whether or not I believe him, which I did.

"Ok, sooo…" I trailed off not knowing where to go from here. "Oh, thank you for the flowers by the way, that was thoughtful of you." I said even though I'd yet to see what he had sent this time, I knew it was kind of ridiculous to be excited about that but I liked the fact that even simple gestures from Eric held significant meaning.

"Your welcome." He responded and slid his hand across the table to cover mine squeezing gently. "I don't know where to start, I suppose the biggest issue would be that you are now my student."

I felt as though I had been kicked in the gut at his words, I couldn't tell whether he was saying it full of regret that nothing more could go on. Which I couldn't blame him for or if he was just stating the facts.

I released a heavy sigh as I spoke. "Yeah, that was um…certainly a surprise to me."

He chuckled and I knew he was remembering my little coughing fit this morning. The fact that his hand was still over mine left me with feeling hopeful but had yet to ease the tension.

"It was for me as well, I admit. I am a little confused by that actually, I know we never discussed anything about what we do for a living but I just assumed that you were a secretary or something not a law student, if I had known..."

If he had known…then what? It wouldn't have happened?

I was surprised by his assumption since we had discussed what I intend to do when I go home, and I told him as much. He informed me that he had just assumed that I was intending to use what was left of my trust fund to start a business that would most likely thrive in my small town as it would be the only Law Office there.

"I don't know I guess I thought you were going to seek out a lawyer who would be interested in partnering with you. He or she practising law while you took care of everything else."

"Why would you have thought that?" I asked incredulously

"Well you appeared to be the secretary the first day we met, you answered the phone to me, you were seated at the front desk when I entered. You greeted me and brought me back to Pam."

I had to think for a moment and then I remembered that Gina had been out for the day and we had been taking turns manning the front desk. So it all made sense although I had to laugh when I remembered telling him that I had left my small town for something more.

"Yes, we were short staffed. So your telling me that you didn't find it strange at all that I moved so far away from home in order to improve my situation as a barmaid to be a secretary." I laughed. "I admit it is better pay, at least with Pam and I have no issue with either job but I think I could have found something a little closer to home."

"I'm sure you could have." He smiled at me as he began to tidy up the kitchen as we were finished eating. He poured us each a glass of wine and lead me to the living room where we sat in the same seats as my last two visits.

"Eric"

"Sookie"

We both started at the same time causing us both to laugh, he set his glass down and pulled me into his side. I know it was meant as an innocent gesture but as I looked up into his eyes I knew that I wanted him regardless of how things went tonight.

"Eric" I said again as I leaned up pressing my lips to his and he moaned against my mouth as my tongue slid along his lower lip. For a moment I wasn't sure if he was going to respond passed the chaste kiss he was allowing.

I was about to pull away not wanting to feel like I was pushing him to do something he didn't seem too sure of, but his lips finally parted and I felt his tongue slide into my mouth.

"Mmm…oh god, Sookie. You have no idea how much I missed this the last couple of days." He whispered against my jaw as he placed soft open mouthed kisses from my lips down and along my throat.

He kept one arm wrapped around my waist as his other hand slid across my thigh, surprising me as his large hand grasped the under side of my outer thigh and pulled me into his lap.

His lips found mine again as his hands skimmed up and down my sides, his thumbs grazing my breasts as I straddled him. My hips were grinding against him and I could feel as he was rapidly growing harder while his beautiful cock rubbed vigorously against my hot center.

I slid my hands down between us and released the button of his jeans before lowering his zipper, he raised his hips assisting me in sliding them down his hips and legs dropping them around his feet.

His hand came forward and cupped my sex and we both moaned loudly into one another's mouths. His fingers traced along my stomach and he slowly peeled my pants down my body as well, tossing them across the room.

His long fingers entered me as his thumb rubbed soft circles around my clit. "Unngghhh…Eric, please. Yes, yes, yes." I moaned as my stomach began to clench and I could feel myself dripping into his hands.

I screamed out his name as I found my release and immediately sought out the friction of his long hard length sliding along my wet folds as Eric removed his fingers, licking them clean.

"Fuck baby" He groaned as I adjusted my hips and held myself only slightly above him, the swollen head of his erect member the only part of him buried in me.

There was a noticeable shift in the air between us and the deep, lust filled passionate kiss we had been sharing seemed to deplete rather quickly. I pulled back slightly almost afraid to meet his gaze.

His still lust filled eyes held a look of caution and hesitation but no regret that I could see just yet, but I wanted this. No, I needed this before we settled anything between us.

"Sookie, I…"

"No" I halted his speech "don't you dare, Eric!" I held his stare for a few seconds watching as his conscience wavered and I shamelessly took advantage of his indecision.

"I need your cock in me, and I need it in me now…" I warned.

A look that was a cross between pure desire and yet utter defeat flashed through his eyes before his lips crashed against my own and his hands that had been gripping my hips gently guided me further down until his rock hard erection was fully sheathed deep within me…

**A/N: Wow…for some reason this one was a hard one to get through, and I still haven't gotten anywhere! The next chapter will be posted this weekend and will be the continuation of the 'discussion' that needs to take place between the two. Sookie, for some reason just chose to take over and I for one was happy to let her!**

**Also, if you all would be so kind as to let me know whose POV the second part of their 'discussion' should be in that would be great. I am stuck not knowing whether I need to move on to Eric so that maybe we will be made to understand where his sudden bout with indecision came from, or continue to let Sookie take the lead??**

**A/N: All characters belong to Charlaine Harris. **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Part 2 of discussion, just wanted to let you know that there is another overlap in chapters with this one as I wanted to be able to express what Eric was thinking when Sookie decided to speak with him. I tried to keep it to a minimum without losing too much between them.**

**A/N: Yay! I am sooo excited that True Blood season 3 is set to begin on Sunday, March 14th****! It has been pointed out that June should be when we see the first episode which is normal. It just confuses me as I watched a preview the other night that clearly said March 14th, so I have no idea!!**

**Eric POV:**

I found myself quite happy that Sookie had finally gave in and answered my calls, I have no idea what caused her to finally speak to me. All I know is that it would have been one hell of a long night of constant phone calls, I wasn't giving up I needed to speak to her before class tomorrow.

I was relieved to see her finally standing before me as I opened my door, it was most likely an inappropriate action considering the circumstances but I felt compelled to pull her into my arms and I did just that.

I didn't want to be rushing around trying to prepare a meal so I ordered Chinese and hoped that it wouldn't be a problem. We settled into a rather quiet dinner only managing to cover a couple of the easier aspects of what we needed to discuss.

Needless to say I was extremely relieved that she seemed to easily except my explanation of the whole 'Claire' ordeal. I was a little surprised to learn that she had been talking to people, much less a student about her interest in a colleague and even more surprised by the blatant lies she had told in regards to my own actions.

Things were a little tense when I mentioned Sookie being my student. I was about to mention the fact that I would not have pursued her and wasn't able to finish voicing that fact as I was afraid of the ramifications that could follow such a statement. Especially since in all reality I would not have been able to fight the pull I felt towards her anyway.

I was correct in sensing that I needed to back up a bit as for a moment she looked like she might be ill. She had obviously gathered exactly what it was I had been about to say.

Conversation became much lighter when we moved onto how surprised we had both been to see one another in class today and I couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped my lips as I thought back on her extreme reaction as she choked back her coffee. If I was ever going to be the death of her, I would certainly hope that it would include something more intimate than simply looking my way.

We continued to discuss how I had come to misunderstand her position with Pam's office. Pam was one topic I was not looking forward to having to discuss if the time ever comes.

For the most part I think we were both content with essentially avoiding the giant elephant in the room and although it was nice to have Sookie back in my house and enjoying her company, I knew it was now time to move this conversation to a more comfortable location and get the ball rolling.

After clearing away our dinner plates and pouring a couple of glasses of wine, which in hindsight was probably not the best idea since we had already enjoyed some over dinner as well, I suggested we move to the living room.

We were both quiet as we all too quickly drank our wine, I knew that I should just take the bull by the horns and bring up the biggest issue between us which would be the professor/student dynamic of our relationship and what that means for us.

I still hadn't exactly decided 100% myself if this was something I could do, sure I had made the decision that yes I would and could continue to be with her, get to know her if it was what she wanted but just as quickly decided that I couldn't do it.

I had been back and forth all day, worried about what getting caught could mean for her, she was in her final year and had most likely worked her ass off to get here. Of course I was also concerned for myself, I don't need the job but I do care about my reputation and I knew it would be unlikely that anyone would believe that this had started before we were aware of the situation we now found ourselves to be in.

I suppose the first thing I would need to know is what she is thinking, could she even want to bother with whatever it is we are doing at the moment. Especially now that I am her professor. All I can do is ask…

"Eric"

"Sookie"

Seems we had both decided on breaking the ice at the same time and we both laughed, I was glad that the tension from earlier seemed to not exist between us right now and we had easily fallen back into the simple comfort we felt when together.

Without even thinking about it I set my glass down and pulled her into my side. I looked down at Sookie, her eyes were filled with want and appeared to be seeking my permission for something?

"Eric" She whispered again before I felt her lips against mine. I moaned as her tongue slid across my lips but I froze instantly knowing that as much as I wanted this, we needed to talk first.

'Fuck it' I love the feel of her lips against mine and I'll be damned if I'm going to push her away. I gave in kissing her back and felt my dick twitch as my tongue entered her hot mouth.

"Mmm…oh god, Sookie. You have no idea how much I missed this the last couple of days." I whispered as kissed my way down her jaw, I continued to suck, nip, lick and kiss my way across her neck and collarbone.

The woman could easily drive me mad from want alone. Fuck I want her!

I pulled her to me so she was straddling my hips as I slouched down slightly on my couch and I crushed my lips to her loving the feeling of my hands rubbing up and down her sides. My erection was already growing but I was suddenly hard as fuck when she reached down and started removing my pants.

I followed suit and removed her bottoms as well. God she was so fucking hot and wet for me already as I slid my fingers into her, fuck, the sound of her moaning and calling out my name was enough to have me worrying that I might not make it any further than this.

I had never had a woman make me feel this way before, and I've had a lot of women but she was different. The fact that I could possibly instantly cum while only penetrating her with my fingers turned me the fuck on.

She came hard as she cried out my name and I slowly pulled my fingers from her licking them clean. She ground against me shifting just enough that my achingly hard cock was lined up with her entrance.

"Fuck baby"

I whispered as I gripped her hips and I groaned in frustration as she lowered herself just enough for the head of my cock to enter her. I panicked, suddenly unsure of what the fuck we were doing.

We needed to discuss things, discuss this. There was no going back for me once this happened not this time, I needed to know that she wanted me and not just for this one last fuck. For all I knew that's exactly what this was, this could be her way of saying good bye so to speak.

I don't think I could handle that, not having to see her daily sitting in my class looking hot as fucking hell. Maybe working her southern charm on some fuck that was both younger than me and able to show her ass off around campus.

'What the fuck! When had I become so insecure?'

She had pulled back just as I noticed that I had all but stopped kissing her while still pressing my lips to hers. She looked somewhat hurt and was obviously trying to read into my reactions through my eyes.

Fuck, she's beautiful. Looking at me through those big blue eyes of hers, begging me to let this be, just let it happen and damn the consequences.

I couldn't do it, I wanted her, fuck do I ever want her and I tried to convey that fact with my eyes before telling her that I can't do this. I'm in too deep already, I need to know how she feels, I need assurances from her and I need to know that everything will be ok once we cross _that_ line.

'Shit, when the fuck had I turned into a fucking girl' I half expected to look down and find that my dick had shamefully disappeared, or fallen off, or had morphed into a fucking pussy or some shit like that.

"Sookie, I…" I started, attempting to ease us into a conversation we needed to have even though my dick was still fractionally embedded within her hot center. I wouldn't dream of lifting her off of me without first making sure that she understood that I wasn't saying no, more just asking for time, just a few minutes even.

I was shocked that I could be so clear headed about it in this moment when all I really wanted to do was fuck her senseless, I wanted to show her that I could be all she needs, all she'll ever need. I wanted us both to know that no one should ever nor would ever touch either of us in this way again but was interrupted by Sookie's admonishing words as she urged me, no demanded that I stop thinking so god damn much and just give in to what we both so obviously desired.

"No,! Don't you dare, Eric!" She glared at me and it was fucking hot."I need your cock in me, and I need it in me now…" .

Ok, that was even fucking hotter. I hadn't thought that I could have wanted her more than I already did but she was forever shocking me with her ability to pull more and more from me than I would ever have thought I had to offer of myself. She had won, I was hers…

My lips found hers again as I gently guided her wet, hot sex further down until my entire shaft was encased deep within her…

She made quick work of unbuttoning my shirt, tossing it to the floor as she removed it from my body, and as she ran her hot, wet mouth over the exposed skin of my chest my head fell back resting against the couch and a whispered 'fuck' escaped my lips as my eyes rolled back into my head.

I was so close to blowing my load and I knew that when I did it would be nothing short of the most violent of explosions.

**Sookie POV:**

I slowed my pace, gently rocking against Eric not wanting the frenzied pace we'd originally set to send us over the edge, so afraid that the moment our heated interlude came to a halt that I would lose him to the reality that surrounded us.

His eyes were hooded with desire and fluttered gently as they rolled back into his head.

His head fell back and settled against the back of the couch, and I was both fascinated and enamoured by the fact that it was me that made him look and feel this way, that put that look of sheer ecstasy on his face.

"Sookie" He moaned as his hands caressed my face and drifted down and around to the back of neck. "If you only knew how much I want you, crave you, desire you. Oh god…there's only you, will always be only you." He breathed.

My breath hitched in my throat as I looked up into his bright blue eyes and knew that the voracious hunger displayed there was for me and only me.

"Jesus, fuck…yes, oh god yes!" I cried as I gripped his shoulders and his hands grasped my hips. Desperately slamming me down onto his throbbing erection helping to once again set a pace that was so far beyond frantic that we began to moan wildly, whispering incoherently to one another as we convulsed rhythmically.

"Fuck yes, so fucking good, Baby!" He panted as he thrust us together one last time before we exploded so fucking hot and hard, falling over the edge together at the same precise second.

We were both gasping for air as he held me tight against his chest, stroking my hair and down my back. "Shit" He grunted. "that was fucking amazing."

"I know." I managed between pants and we sat quietly for a few moments, I'm sure both wondering where to begin.

"What do you want, Sookie." He asked, surprising me as we were still naked and joined together. The expression 'joined at the hip' taking on a whole new meaning to me. I wanted to laugh as I realised that the strangest of thoughts cross your mind when your set on avoiding reality.

"You." I whispered knowing that avoidance was no longer an option.

"What does that mean to you? What is it that you want from me?"

"I just want you in any way that I can have you right now." I said while placing a soft kiss on his temple.

He clutched my face in both hands staring into my eyes. "Even if it means evenings in like this most times, hiding whatever this is for the time being?" He questioned, not sounding near as confident as his normal self.

"_ONLY_ if it means evenings in like this most times." He chuckled at my half assed attempt at humour although part of me meant it.

"What?" I challenged. "Are you suggesting that I wouldn't love to spend every night together in the same way, exactly as we are now?" I said one corner of my mouth lifting in a small smirk while gesturing to our conjoined bodies, causing him to smile widely at me and pull my lips to his as he placed a few light pecks across mine.

"And you?" I asked needing to hear him say it.

"I told you already. I want you, and only you. I meant it, Sookie." He whispered against my ear as he nipped at it gently.

"Mmm…well statements made during an extremely heated moment are not always reliable." I teased.

"Extremely heated?" He murmured as he began planting open mouthed kisses along my collar bone.

"Mmmhmm…extremely." I pressed.

We had yet to really say a whole lot to one another but we both knew that we wanted and most probably needed to be together, to continue to learn about the other.

I was also much more confident in the fact that Professor Mason had no place in our relationship and I wasn't about to let her bullshit cause a problem for us anymore, she could pine for him all she wanted but he was mine.

I briefly thought about the fact that the Pam issue needed to be addressed as well but quickly dismissed the thought deciding that I was completely fine with it being a conversation for another time.

Once again I spent the night in Eric's arms but not before spending the next several hours exploring every last part of one another's bodies…

**A/N: So not everything was addressed just yet but obviously we need to save some issues for another time, another chapter. There are still a few more problems that have yet to even be brought forward…so I guess we'll just have to see what the Professor and Sookie manage to get up to!**

**Also, I apologize if for some reason where Sookie Pov still reads Bella Pov, I have corrected it but I guess for some reason it still reads Bella to others. In any case it is fixed on my end. I guess writing while being tired and also working on an Edward/Bella story titled (Mrs. Cullen and The Chicago Company) kind of got the better of me, but at least Eric didn't call out Bella's name! That would have been a real mess since Sookie had already thought him to be a womanizer ;)**

**A/N: All characters belong to Charlaine Harris**


	10. Chapter 10

Sookie POV:

It has been just over six weeks since Eric and I had come to our understanding. We have been spending three to four nights or at least evenings together since, much of that being spent intimately. We just can not seem to get enough of each other, there are days when I let my insecure self take over and then I start thinking that this is all just sexual.

That the slightly older professor is enjoying partaking in the body of one of his students. For the most part I know that that is untrue, I know that it was hard for him to make the decision to let this happen and we do honestly take the time to learn about each other.

He tends to be quite private so it was difficult to get much out of him but I did manage to learn that he is an only child and that both his parents are also deceased but passed at different times. His father when he was a young boy and his mother the year before he married.

He also opened up a little about his marriage, stating that he never would have married her if she hadn't fallen pregnant. She had asked if not begged him to marry her not the other way around. He also seemed to believe that she may possibly have made it up in order to get him to agree to it.

"I had my suspicions but I never brought it to her attention, I would have felt like a complete ass if I was wrong. She tried to be an attentive wife and we basically got along so I continued to try and make a go of it."

"I would never marry for that reason, I don't expect perfection but I want to be completely and madly in love. I never want to settle for someone I can live with, when I marry I want it to be with someone that I can not live without."

"You say when you marry is that a given for you?"

"Um yeah?" It came out as more of a question then anything. "How am I to raise a family without it, I was raised in a small southern town with all it's small town southern charm by a very family oriented southern woman, not only is it a given but it seems to be ingrained into my very nature."

It felt really strange discussing this with someone I just started seeing, I didn't want to scare him off but I refuse to lie about what I want for my future and he seemed to take it well. I guess it's because we both know to a certain extent that there is not much further that this can go for us. Our time together is limited.

The only problem with that was that I was beginning to have some serious feelings for Eric, I was concerned about how hard it could potentially be to let him go when the time came. I wasn't prepared to lose the connection and the intimacy that we shared so I chose to set that aside for now. I could deal with it later.

We'll be worlds apart when I graduate, and he'll go back to living his life as he had before me. Only by then he'll truly be rid of Felicia, as he put it. I was shocked to learn of what he walked in on with her, he hadn't gone into detail but even just the basic's were pretty…well shocking.

It surprised me that anyone would feel the need to step out on a man like Eric. He's an excellent lover -not that I had much to compare it to- but he is extremely attentive in and out of the bedroom, I rarely ever have less than two orgasms each night, well several really if we have sex more than once and he's packing some pretty impressive heat.

With all the talking that we have managed to do we've still yet to define the specifics of our relationship and up until now I hadn't found it necessary. I don't introduce him to anyone so it's not like I have to worry about how to refer to him…my boyfriend, my lover, my professor.

I laugh at the use of my professor because although he denies it wholeheartedly he was a split reaction to it. On one hand he cringes at thought that he is carrying on with a student but on the other I can see that he likes it, it excites and at some point I intend to play on that excitement. I'm just waiting for the right opportunity.

I won't lie I am a little turned on myself by the thought of a little professor/student role playing, not that it is exactly role playing with us considering it is what we are but that neither here nor there.

We both had wanted to continue to see one another and we kept it extremely private, meaning we spent a lot of time at Eric's house specifically. Don't get me wrong, I love having him all to myself and wouldn't give up our time together for anything but something was definitely off with him right now.

He seemed distracted over the last week or so and would avoid me for the evening if I brought it up. I was more than a little hurt the first night that he cancelled one of our rendezvous, we had been coming on to one another pretty hot and heavy and it was actually almost the first time that he took me in his office on campus.

I made the mistake of asking him what was wrong, imploring him to confide in me. He claimed it was nothing but it clearly was something, he was distant, less attentive, his eyes didn't hold that same sparkle when he looked at me.

I was beginning to feel at least on some days as though maybe his interest in me had waned, his constant change in disposition was giving me whiplash and I was about ready to call him on it.

I would never have gotten the nerve up to though until last nights events, he had invited me over for dinner and was going just as wonderful as it normally would. I had cooked for us this time, Lasagna and garlic bread and we had shared a bottle of wine.

We barely had the table cleared when he had attacked me, he lifted me up after hiking my skirt and removing my panties and placed me on the counter.

"Open" He stated in a commanding tone while placing both hands on my knees and guiding them apart. "I want to taste you, lover."

He had lowered himself so that he could bury his face in between my thighs briefly using both his tongue and his fingers as he pleasured me, bringing me to my first orgasm of the night.

"Does that feel good, baby?" His speech was muffled as he barely removed his lips from me to speak.

"Mmm…yes, feels so good…don't stop, please don't stop." I panted while burying my hand in his hair and tugging because I was so damn close.

My body near collapsed as I found my release and it shot through my entire being. Eric stood to his full height, towering over me, his pants now hanging very low on his hips and I watched as he took his erection into his own hand and stroked himself a few times.

"Do you want this now?" He asked as he slowed his hand to a very slow, intense stroke. If he continued this in front of me much longer I knew I would very likely orgasm again.

"Mmm" Was all I managed to croak as he leaned in nipping at my ear.

"Is this what you want?" He growled and had taken my hand in his wrapping it around his length and we stroked him together. "My dick in that tight pussy of yours?"

"Ungh…fuck yes…god please…I…ungh…I need you in me now!" I moaned loudly as he stepped forward and began rubbing his tip up and down my drenched folds before suddenly plunging into me.

"Oh god yes! Fuck, fuck yes…harder Eric, please harder!" I screamed practically clawing at his back through his shirt. His fingers were tangled in the back of my hair and pulled my head back causing my back to arch creating a whole new angle allowing him thrust so much deeper inside of me.

This time wasn't anything like our regular exploits, where there's normally a healthy mix of soft, tender caresses and hot n' heavy, sometimes hard sex.

No, this time it was nothing but hard and fast, he was on fire as he thrust in and out of me. He had never been so commanding, so dominant while with me and I have to admit that I kind of liked it.

He quickly brought me to orgasm and as my walls tightened around him I felt him expand and pulse inside of me, and his entire body shook as he came so much harder than I had ever witnessed from him.

"Fuck, Sookie." He breathed as he wrapped his arms around me holding me tightly.

His phone had been going off since he first entered me and he finally reached down into his pocket to answer it. He pulled out of me offering a small smile as he pulled up his pants and turned his back on me answering his phone.

"Northman" He barked into the phone.

"What did I tell you about callin…." That was all I heard as he left the room.

He hadn't excused himself for some privacy or anything but that was obviously what he wanted considering that as I made my way to the bathroom to clean up a little he entered his office closing the door behind him.

I was a little put off by as it felt almost rude of him, I understand a need for privacy but after the moments we had just shared I would have thought that he would have at lest said something to me before holding up in his office.

He had been in there for close to twenty minutes before I decided to grab myself another glass of wine, as I passed his office I could hear mostly muffled speech but raised his voice slightly I froze when I distinctly heard him say _her_ name.

"Look, I have company here. Let me deal with them and I'll call you back in a few minutes, Felicia."

'Deal with _them_ and call her back' so I am a 'them' now? He hadn't mentioned having any contact with who was supposed to soon be his ex wife. If anything he made it seem as though he had no use for her, yet he leaves me still exposed, legs spread sitting on his counter top after mind blowing sex to slip into his office for close to half an hour to talk to her!

I quickly walked away from the door entering the kitchen, I had half a glass of wine poured as he called out to me.

"Oh there you are, listen something's come up. Do you think that we could call it a night a little early this evening and I'll give you a call later ont?" He asked and I noticed that he wasn't exactly looking at me but around me and he certainly wasn't making any move to come near me which was never the case after sex.

Normally he couldn't keep his hands off of me, and he's actually asking me to leave when we had planned for me to stay tonight.

"Umm…ok, but I thought I was staying here tonight?"

"Yeah…I…well…"

"Don't worry about it, I guess we've managed to accomplish everything pretty quickly tonight anyway. I mean it's only just after seven and you've already been fed and fucked, right?"

I couldn't believe the shit spewing out of my mouth, I tried to stop it as I was saying it. I was definitely put off by whatever was going on here but I knew I shouldn't be saying anything that I would regret until I actually knew what was going on.

I quickly grabbed my purse and slipped on my shoes as much as I knew that I needed to shut my mouth right now, I was also pissed at being dismissed by him and for her at that.

Maybe it was none of my business but he could have at least taken a moment to explain something, anything instead of just 'dealing' with me. I looked back at him standing in the entry way to the kitchen as I opened the front door and he hadn't moved or spoken, he was just standing there looking shocked by my words.

Good, because I was shocked by both his behaviour and lack of words. "Enjoy your evening, Professor." I knew that was a low blow, he hated when I referred to him as professor since so far I had only done so when I was angry with him. Like I was trying to tell him that that was all he was right now, my professor and not my…lover or whatever the hell it is that we are!

I went home and rehashed everything with Amelia, she was the only person that I confided the truth in about Eric and I. She had agreed with me, that it had been best to get out of there quickly before I managed to say anything else, she also agreed that I had a right to be angry and was glad that I said something to him though what I said may have been inappropriate.

"I feel so bad for not just leaving and not at least waiting to see if he would explain anything in a day or two." I told her.

"Sookie, he basically took a call from her while still buried in you for christ sakes! Then he walks away leaving you hoisted up on the counter to hide in his office to talk to her, plus he kicks you out when your supposed to stay. No! You were right to say something, maybe not quite what you said but hell who could blame you, he should have said more!" She ranted.

I was still upset when I finally went to bed but I figured I may as well try to get some sleep I had still had class but I was glad that tomorrow was Friday and we'd have the weekend to get through everything.

Amelia had convinced me that it was time have 'the talk' with Eric, we needed to know where we stood with each other and not just that we were interested in 'fucking one another's brains out' her words not mine.

I made my way to class somehow both looking forward to seeing Eric and yet not, I am trying to keep an open mind about the whole thing but when I woke this morning to see that he had also not even bothered to call or text me before now…I was a little aggravated to say the least.

I was a whole lot more aggravated when I noticed the note posted stating that Professor Northman would not be lecturing today. He had office hours for this evening and would be available then for anyone that wants to pick up any assignments or needs to speak with him.

I didn't hear from him all day and I finally gave in and tried calling myself but I got his voicemail. The whole situation was driving me insane by the time 6:00 rolled around and he should now be in his office, I made my way to campus grabbing a coffee along the way.

His door was cracked open a bit when I arrived but he appeared to be extremely pissed from what I could see of him so I wanted to give him a few minutes. I sat down in a chair just outside of his door and thought maybe I could call him again quickly while he's alone and make sure that it's ok that I do see him about a personal matter during his office time.

I was sure it would be alright but he might appreciate that I thought to ask, considering he hasn't bothered with me since early last night. Just as I hit the speed dial on his number I noticed a woman walking towards me, she was maybe 5'6, long dark brown hair and dark eyes. She was beautiful even though she was almost anorexic looking for how thin she was.

I looked away from her as I heard Eric's phone go off, and waited for him to answer. It rang twice before the dark haired woman approached his door and entered without so much as a knock. On the third ring he must have hit ignore because it stopped ringing and went directly to voicemail much sooner than usual.

"Not going to answer your phone, Eric?" She purred.

"It's not important Felicia, I don't see why you felt the need to come here. Everything that needed to be said was said on the phone."

Fucking Felicia. What the hell is going on? That question was answered as she spoke next.

"I told you Eric, I love you and I only need you. I want this marriage to work, I don't want to sign the damn papers. Especially not now…don't you want this baby? Would you deny him or her a chance to have a family?"

Holy fuck! I leaned my head back against the wall, closing my eyes as I tried to suck in a much needed breath. She was fucking pregnant. He knew this and didn't think to mention it through all his talk of needing me, wanting me, his connection to me!

"Felicia, I'm not denying anybody anything, well except you, you will not ever be my wife again. I won't make the same mistake twice and stay married to you over a baby as I married you for the same reason. We will sign these papers and be done with it, as far as the child goes…if and that is a big if it is mine I will support him or her. You've let too many people stick their dicks in you to be able to say who the hell the father is, so you won't get a dime from me until I get the test results back."

I had heard enough, I was so confused right now. I didn't know whether to be angry he hadn't said anything, angry that he didn't trust me enough to talk to me last night, or if I even really had the right to expect that since admittedly even I am unsure of where we stand together.

I wanted him to know that I know, and I knew that as always I would chicken out on confronting him about everything, including where we stand relationship wise because this was just too much right now.

I knew I had the assignment in my messenger bag that was due today so I dug it and stood, I would simply knock, hand him my assignment and leave speaking as few words as possible. He would get the hint.

He cleared his throat after I knocked and called for me to enter, needless to say he was surprised to see me and his eyes bulged slightly as he looked from me to Felicia.

"Soo…I mean Suzannah, how can I help you today?" He knew how much it pissed me off when he used my given name…was he doing it on purpose?

"You can't, Sorry to interrupt I was just dropping off the assignment due today. I was waiting outside to see you but I have some where to be now, so I thought I'd…make my presence known…I mean to hand this in on time."

He reached out for it so I let him take it from my hands, he was desperately trying to make eye contact with me but I refused to look anywhere but at his chin, which led me to his mouth…oh god, I need to get out here.

"Have a nice weekend, Professor Northman…."

A/N: All characters belong to Charlaine Harris.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I am actually amazed at all the reviews and messages I receive on this story, it makes me want to get another chapter out ASAP! Thanks for all the interest in my story, it's truly wonderful!**

**I love the varied reactions to Eric in the last chapter, your all so quick to hate…lol. I could never hate him, but yes he was a real DICK! And I totally appreciate what everyone has to say!**

**Eric POV:**

I was pissed, mostly with myself for being so fucking stupid but also with Felicia for putting me in a position where I am not being completely open with Sookie. I guess in all honesty I can't even blame Felicia, she is a scandalous bitch but I doubt she got pregnant on purpose after five years.

After last nights conversation with her in which I was more than clear on where I stand I was quite surprised to see Felicia stroll into my office and even more surprised when there was a knock on my door and Sookie entered.

I know the look on my face must have been something else as I glanced back and forth between the woman I most despised at the moment and the woman that had somehow all too quickly become the most important person in the world to me.

"Soo…I mean Suzannah, how can I help you today?"

I wanted to kick myself in the ass for almost calling her Sookie, I knew Felicia would most likely never remember her if she met her later on but her name is very original and if for some reason she ever came to know of our involvement I didn't want her to be able to connect our student/professor relationship. She would use it to demean Sookie in any way possible and I didn't want that.

"You can't, Sorry to interrupt I was just dropping off the assignment due today. I was waiting outside to see you but I have some where to be now, so I thought I'd…make my presence known…I mean to hand this in on time."

'Make her presence known' I knew exactly what that meant, she had heard every word, she knew and wanted me to know that she knew. Fuck!

I tried with everything I had to will her to look at me, even if it was for just a moment. I wanted her to see how sorry I was, I didn't want her to find out this way. I had told myself after last night that I never wanted to see that look in her eyes again, she was hurt, I had hurt her.

I reached out taking her assignment from her hoping she would finally look at me, she did but seemed to be looking at my neck or lower face, successfully avoiding eye contact.

"Have a nice weekend, Professor Northman…." Ah…and there it is again. Sookie's own none too subtle way of telling me to go fuck myself for the weekend…at least.

**Previous week**

Things had been running exceptionally smoothly between Sookie and I, the last five weeks had been like heaven on earth to me. We had been spending much more time together than I honestly felt would be possible since we wanted to keep this between us for now.

It seems that every time we are together things always become physical fairly quickly, it's something I both love and hate. I love it because I get to have the best and most intimate sex I've ever experienced constantly but I hate it because I don't want Sookie to ever feel that the sex is all this is about.

Coming here and meeting her is the best thing that's ever happened to me, my feelings haven't changed for her not in the least. When I am with her I feel like there is nothing and no one else that exists.

I am a 33 year old man that feels like a fucking teenager when she is anywhere near me and I fucking love it!

My phone rang and I was expecting a call from Sookie so I quickly answered it without even glancing at the call display.

"Hey"

"Eric? Well I don't think I have ever heard you use such a sweet tone with me, tell me, does that mean you are missing me?" Fucking Felicia.

"What the fuck do you want, Felicia? You should only be going through my lawyer to contact me."

"Oh lighten up Eric, I refuse to talk to Pam and besides I thought you may want to know first hand that I am pregnant again."

"What the fuck are you telling me for?"

"Well that would be because you are the father." What the fuck? Is she fucking kidding me.

"Felicia, there had to be at least a dozen fucking donors in the last while we were together if I were to base my opinion of that on the last time I saw you."

"Do you really feel the need to be so insulting, Eric?"

"Do you really feel the need to be so fucking stupid, Felicia?" I mocked.

"Look I don't have time for your bullshit, Eric. I'm pregnant and you need to accept that…"

"Why did you wait so long to say something?"

"I wanted to wait to make sure I didn't lose this one." I felt like a piece of shit, she was a bitch and was probably only bringing up that bullshit to make me feel bad and it was no doubt still a lie.

I told her straight out that I wanted nothing to do with her and that she would have to supply a paternity test before I would acknowledge anything. I also stated very clearly that the divorce WILL be going through with or without a baby. Part of me even doubted that there was a baby but either way, I would know the truth before she got another dime.

I spent the next two days having an inner fucking debate with myself. I needed to talk to Sookie, I needed to tell her about this shit. I knew that, I knew it all too fucking well but I was afraid she'd leave me. It's not like we've been together long, hell we hadn't even discussed just what it is we are to each other.

Monday evening Sookie was the last to see me during my office hours and she shut and locked the door behind her as she entered. I eyed her suspiciously knowing she was up to something. I wasn't sure what the hell I thought about anything happening here on campus. I'm sure it would be a bad idea no matter what but she made quick work of trying to convince me otherwise.

I hadn't moved from my chair and she sashayed her ass over to me and didn't hesitate to climb in to my lap and grind her hot little lady bits into my all too quickly growing erection. Her tongue shot out of her mouth and she licked her way up my neck.

Fuck she was hot! I didn't waste anytime, my hands quickly set about removing her shirt and my mouth found her pert nipples nibbling through the thin fabric of her yellow bra.

We were grinding against each other and I knew that any moment I would have no choice but to bend her over my fucking desk and take her, I was already so close to blowing my load. I have never known a woman that has been able to make me cum in my pants before now, but I sure as hell knew that Sookie was more than capable of it.

The moment I looked into her eyes, the very ones that held so much adoration, affection, want, respect and worst of all TRUST. I couldn't continue, not like this. I needed to show her the respect she deserves, the trust she deserves and prove that I deserved the same in return.

That just wasn't the case right now, not while I kept such an important fact from her, I tried to rationalize that fact by telling myself that Felicia was a lying bitch and that I shouldn't have to potentially cause a problem between us over her lies.

Sookie immediately sensed that something was wrong no doubt because as much I could read her so well at this point, she could read me just as easily.

I was a selfish son-of-a-bitch and was in no way prepared to let her go just yet. It would crush me if she said goodbye and I'd fucking kill Felicia if Sookie left me over anything that her skank ass had any involvement in.

So I quite suddenly had so much work to catch up on that I could no longer keep our prior engagement. Sookie was supposed to spend the night with me tonight and I all but brushed her off.

Oh and did I mention that when I hurt her it was completely visible in her beautiful eyes that glazed over and shimmered in the light as she held back the tears that wanted to fall in what she probably saw as rejection. Yeah, like I said I'm an asshole.

She was quick to throw her shirt back on and leave and I once again I berated myself because I was so many things right now; a selfish, dishonest son-of-a-bitch, an asshole, a coward and a fucking prick that in now way deserved a woman like Sookie, not by a long shot.

I wanted to call her, to go to her or make her come to me and I wanted to come clean, I really did but the damn selfish coward in me was not having that tonight and the longer I waited the harder it got to find a way to tell her.

I was miserable all week and I know it showed in my demeanor, everyday I argued with myself and everyday the coward came out on top.

The final straw had been when Felicia had gone against what I fucking told her, I didn't want to hear from her until a paternity test proved me to be the father. She had called four god damn times while I took Sookie on my kitchen counter, all I wanted was to hold her close to me after and I was doing just that for about two seconds until she fucking called again.

I was so pissed that what I had done, the way I had left her, walked away to deal with that bitch hadn't even caught up to me until after Sookie had _left me, _when she had yelled at me I stood there shocked by the words that left her mouth. I had been 'fed and fucked' is that what she thought of me? That I could ever think that way about the woman I love…whoa…love? Where the hell had that come from? How do you love someone after less than two months together, and not even really together at that.

I was so fucked, here I had kept something from her afraid that she would leave me and instead she leaves me because of the ass I am when I am pissed off.

Felicia and I had argued and gotten nowhere over the course of a twenty minute period before I finally realised that this was never going to end, she was never going to give up until we knew the paternity of the baby and I was done dealing with her.

I let her go telling her I would call her back after I seen Sookie off, of course I didn't quite put it that way. It was none of her concern who I had here and I knew that using the term 'them' would make her think I had a group here and not focus on one individual I didn't need her trying even harder to hold up the divorce because I was involved with someone.

I didn't call her right back, once I got over the shock of Sookie's words I called Pam and told her what was now going on and that if Felicia continued to harass me I wanted a restraining order taken out against her.

Telling Pam me feel like an even bigger ass after not confiding in Sookie as well. Pam was my lawyer and needed to be kept in the loop, I hadn't told her earlier in the week because I wasn't telling my friend, Pam, only my lawyer ,Pam.

That rationale still didn't make me feel any better and it was in that moment that I had decided that I could do this, I could trust Sookie not to walk away from me, I had to believe in that, believe in her.

I wasn't normally one to take any personal time off of work but I wanted to do something special for Sookie so I spent the day Friday running around making arrangements for us to stay at a quaint little B&B in New Port RI. Called Ivy Lodge, it was two hours away but looked to be worth the drive.

I had booked The Victoria room, it's supposed to be the most requested consisting of a king four poster bed, fireplace, private bath with shower and jacuzzi tub. I made arrangements for a few floral arrangements to be set up in the room as well as some wine and finger foods to snack on the first little while that we were there. I wanted to keep her to myself in our room, away from all the bullshit here.

I was entirely too nervous about the whole idea, should I be taking Sookie so far away when I intend to open up to her, telling her everything including the newest shit involving Felicia? Or should I be telling her this while at home, allowing her the chance to leave if she were to decide to.

Again the selfish part of me won out and I decided that I would take her to New Port, I wanted everything to be perfect for us and I hoped that even if she needed a little space having her away from home might allow for her to take some time to herself but in the end return to our room where we could talk.

**Present day-Felicia & Eric after Sookie walked out**

"Felicia, you need to go the fuck home. Do not come back here, do not call me, do not contact me in any way. My lawyer will be dealing with this situation and letting me know when the tests can be done." I snapped.

I was seething, there was almost no chance that Sookie would be accompanying me to New Port now and once again I had hurt her.

I literally had to hold myself in place, will myself to not leave this chair and wrap my fingers around her fucking throat. Felicia actually had the nerve to stand there looking as though she were about to cry, if I hadn't known her so fucking well I might have believed it but she didn't have it in her.

I on the other hand felt like my heart had just been torn from my chest and although I had only shed a few tears in my adult life -those being when I said goodbye to mother- had the strangest of sensations taking place in the backs of my eyes and knew immediately that Sookie was all too capable of bringing me to my knees…

**Links on profile for those who wish to view Eric and Sookie's would be room at Ivy Lodge as well as the beautiful foyer to the lodge. It is an actual lodge and these are actually pictures from said lodge.**

**A/N: All characters belong to Charlaine Harris.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Sookie POV:**

I was so tired of crying over that man, I had spent all weekend holed up in my room ignoring every call, knock on my door, text message and email from Eric. Amelia had sent him away a few times and he never gave her a hard time about it once.

He seemed to disappear for a good part of Saturday and into Sunday, he had come by twice Saturday morning and again Sunday afternoon. There were only a few texts Saturday night but no emails and only two calls, so he must have gotten up to something considering the insane amount of times that he had tried both Friday night and Saturday morning as well as Sunday afternoon again.

I could tell that Amelia was worried about me, she probably assumed that I would crawl back into my own little world again. Back to the quiet, safe place I had created for myself after the whole Andre ordeal, she should know better than that though. I am a much stronger person now.

I didn't bother with class on Monday, I never miss time so I wasn't going to fall behind over one missed day. Amelia was going to stop by all my classes and pickup any missed work I might need, I hated that she was going to see Eric because no matter how big a dick he is…I totally miss the shit out of him.

This was the first weekend I had spent away from him since this whole thing started and it broke my heart but then so did him not trusting me. I don't know what's worse though, him not trusting me or me not being able to trust him if he's going to keep such things from me.

I could hear Amelia moving about the apartment and knew that it was probably time to leave the confines of my room. I was almost embarrassed by how much time I had spent in bed over the last three days.

I made my way out to the kitchen to make myself some coffee but it turned out that Amelia truly is a godsend and there were two Starbucks cups sitting on the counter.

"One of these for me?" I pretty much begged her with my eyes.

"Of course, how are feeling, Sook?"

"Like shit but it's getting better."

"Well if it means anything he looks just as bad as you, I actually felt sorry for him. I could tell he wanted to ask about you but there were other students around so he didn't. Oh do you know some Mike guy from Eric's class?"

"Yeah, that's Newton he sit's a few seats over from me. He's been in other classes too so we've worked together on a couple of group things. Why?"

"Because he asked about you, right in front Professor Sex at that. You should have seen the daggers he was shooting Mike's way after he asked for your number to check up on you."

"You didn't give it to him did you?"

"No, I wouldn't give out your number that's for you to do not me. He was kind of cute though, I imagine he doesn't compare to the professor in your books though, right?"

"Who does…" I sighed.

"So you gonna call him before the awkward face to face in class?"

"I probably should but I think I might just ask him to give me a few days to sort shit out in my head. I'll tell him the truth I'm only calling so we can avoid the awkwardness in class, or at least some of it."

We sat and enjoyed the rest of our coffee in silence, I could tell that Amelia had more that she wanted to say but was keeping quiet on the subject for now. Which I was very thankful to her for.

Before heading out to see Tray she handed me a bunch of papers from my classes and I brought them to my room tossing them on my bed. Once I was showered and changed I decided to go through them and see what I had missed and then I would make my call to Eric.

I looked at the first few papers before I noticed an envelope sticking out of the small pile. The moment I had it in my hand I knew it was from him, his elegant script gave him away immediately.

I had ignored every form of contact from him and felt like I might be ready to at least read his words. Maybe it'll help me get through the conversation we were about to have, however brief that may be.

The envelope was addressed to Sookie but the letter itself held his pet name for me…Lover.

_Lover,_

_There really is no possible way that I could apologize enough to remove the pain that I know I have caused you but I am going to say it anyway, I am sorry, my love. I can not begin to tell you how much I regret not opening up to you before now, it was ridiculously insecure of me, a feeling I am not used to but it was mainly because I thought that you would leave me._

_I was not prepared to lose you and in the end may well have done just that. Please do not be angry with Amelia for allowing me the time to write this for you and slipping it in with your assignment._

_I am all but begging you, hell I am begging you to allow me the chance to talk to you. I need to explain everything to you, my word may not be enough right now but I promise you it was my intention to tell you everything on Saturday night. _

_I had made arrangements for us to go away together, we would have been leaving Saturday morning. I went myself anyway and the time away in solitude, away from it all really helped put things in perspective for me._

_It just feels like if it isn't one thing it's another with us, we have to fight to move ahead together and I know that doesn't sound so good but just know that I will fight for you, I am fighting for you._

_Nothing is worth having if it is easily attained, at least not in my books. I like to know that I have earned all I have and I want to earn the right to be with you, to be yours._

_Please, give us a chance. _

_Always yours,_

_Eric ~ Professor Northman _

He was such an ass, I know that by inserting Professor Northman in there that he was attempting to be funny, hoping to put a smile on my face. He failed. All it did was make me cry…again.

This time I wasn't crying because he hurt me, I was crying because he gets to be an asshole, make me want to hate him, make plans to whisk me away, and write sweet words to me, words that make me realise that he may be an asshole but he is my asshole and I love him.

Well shit!

I have no clue what I am supposed to do now, I have no right falling in love with a man that technically is not available to me. Not in the way I would want him to be, he doesn't want marriage and a family. Plus he only just settled down here, it's not like he would uproot his life to follow me home.

I wanted to cry again as I envisioned little Eric's running around grans farmhouse, his children would be beautiful. That thought again caused the tears I had been holding back to finally fall as I realised that he may already have a little Eric on the way.

I remembered everything he had told me about her and knew that there was a good chance that it wasn't even his. I can't imagine what it would be like to know that you may be fathering a child with a woman that you hold in such contempt.

Knowing I would have to face him tomorrow I decided that it was probably still best to call him, I could text him but that was just so impersonal especially after his letter.

The phone rang a few times and then he finally answered, breathing heavy as though he were short of breath.

"Sookie?"

"Yes, how are you?"

"Better now, and you?"

"I'm ok, I guess."

"I'm sorry, Sookie. I…"

"I didn't call for that, Eric. Listen, I think I need a few more days to myself. I need to sort shit out and I can't do that when I'm with you, I can't think straight when your around. I just called because I don't want it to be awkward for either of us in class."

"Ok." I could hear the sadness in his voice, replacing the hope that had originally been there probably as a result of seeing my number displayed on his phone.

"We'll talk, I promise. You mean a lot to me, Eric and I would never not allow you the chance to at least talk."

"You mean a lot to me too, more than you could possibly know. I miss you."

"Me too, but I think we should leave it at that for now. I guess I'll see you in the morning then."

"Alright, have a good night, Sookie."

"You too, goodbye, Eric."

"Goodbye, Sookie."

I hung up the phone and actually felt a little better, I always did when I heard his voice. I barely slept a wink, tossing and turning all night. I knew I shouldn't be but I was both excited and nervous about seeing him in class but I also knew that I had to stick to my guns, I needed this time to myself.

It would have made more sense to talk to him first so that I knew exactly what it was I was dealing with and could take a few days to mull that over but I also knew that it was more than likely that I would not be able to walk away from him to take the time to myself.

The next two days in class were easier then I thought they would be, Eric was respecting my wishes and didn't approach me for anything that was not school related. The hardest part was just seeing him, watching him as he moved about the room. The way the muscles in his back and ass would tighten and shift as he walked passed me or the way his chest would rise and fall when he laughed or even just breathed.

Amelia had been right he was looking better today but he still looked like shit compared to his usual self. Mike had been chatting me up a little more the last two days as well and I didn't miss the fact that Eric was also noticing and wasn't very happy about it.

On Thursday Mike invited me to dinner and my first thought was to turn him down but then I realised that I had become so quickly wrapped up in everything that was Eric that I wondered if it really had been about the connection I thought I felt with him. Or had it been the fact that he was just the first man I had allowed to be an intimate part of my life in almost four years.

It had come so easily with him, too easily really that I thought as he did that we were somehow fated for one another. I wondered if it would or even could be the same with someone else and wanted to see that for myself, so I said yes to dinner with Mike.

Now I find myself sitting across the table from Mike trying to enjoy a decent meal wrapped up in awkward conversation because as it turns out, I don't feel a spark. There is nothing there but I can tell that for him it is a different story, he feels more and based on the twinkle in his eyes he wants more.

"So I had a good time, Mike but I really should be heading home now."

Mike leaned in and kissed me on the lips and sure enough there was no spark, no safe content feeling like when Eric had. I pulled back having not even returned the kiss, I knew the moment his lips touched mine that my connection with Eric…was real.

Mike on the other hand had other thoughts and plans as well it seems.

"I was hoping I could convince you to stay out for a bit, that we could go to this little Jazz club a couple of blocks away."

"I don't know, Mike. I'm quite tired I've had a long week and I'd just like to start my weekend off relaxing."

"Come on, it'll be fun. Just come for an hour or so, the place comes highly recommended. Professor Northman has kind of been a prick to me all week for some reason and it's been obvious to me at least that he thinks highly of you so I kind of used our date to get on his good side again."

"What?" I sputtered." What do you mean used our date?"

"I told him I was taking you out tonight and wondered if he could recommend a good place to take you, I knew he hadn't been in town all that long but he seems the type to get around. He told me about Firehouse 12 he said it was a Jazz club and that you would like it."

Shit, fuck…fuck…fuck.

I stood with my mouth gaping while Mike looked at me confused.

"Was he wrong, is Jazz not good? He seemed preoccupied when he mentioned it maybe he hadn't really had enough time to give it any decent thought. We can go somewhere else if you want."

"N…no Mike, I really have to go. I'm sorry but this just wouldn't work for me, you feel like more of a friend to me than anything. I'm sorry, I have to run."

I practically ran the few blocks to Eric's suddenly realising that he is not the only one that makes stupid fucking mistakes. My thoughts were all over the place as I approached his house, was this date considered cheating on him? Nothing happened with Mike but were Eric and I technically still together or whatever the fuck it was that we are or were, I had asked for time to think I hadn't officially called anything off.

A date was a date, if we were still something then that was cheating in my books. I wouldn't be ok with him doing the same. Was I no better than Felicia to him now? Jesus what the hell was I thinking, and christ, what was he now thinking.

As I made way up the walkway to his house I glanced at the front window and he was sitting on his couch with Pam, of course. They seemed to be sitting awfully close and as I watched she brought her hand up to his face. I cringed not wanting to see anymore but unable to tear my eyes away.

He didn't move, he never leaned into her but he never pulled away. I remembered his words from the letter he wrote - _It just feels like if it isn't one thing it's another with us, we have to fight to move ahead together-_

It would appear I had a decision to make, and quickly…

Fight or flight….

**A/N: Whew…*wipes sweat from brow*…so what do we think people, is it fight or flight time?? It will be a real doozy I would think if she chooses to fight, I can only imagine what Ms. Pam will have to say!**

**This story is really flowing right now so I thought I would be nice and post another chapter for your enjoyment…or not!**

**A/N: All characters belong to Charlaine Harris.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Eric POV:**

My week has been one that has consisted of both pure heaven and hell neatly folded into one little package. I have at least been able to see Sookie in class everyday, but it kills me that I can not touch her.

I just want to pull her into my arms and never let her go again. Instead I sit back and watch as that little fuck Newton moves closer and closer to her. I want to cock block his ass as some might say and demand that he move his fucking ass back to his seat but I have a funny feeling that suddenly putting a seating chart in place that would only affect him would piss Sookie off to no end.

I would at that point be able to add controlling to my list of unattractive qualities and I didn't want to add to that list. I never really liked him from the start, he's one of those students who always have their head up your ass but you allow it because they do all your bitch work for you. Other faculty members refer to it as extra credit but that's neither here nor there.

I haven't had him do a fucking thing for me this week because I can do it myself, part of me knows I am being slightly immature about it but shit…I can't sit back and watch him flirt his ass off with her and then sit there and hold a conversation with him.

He keeps looking at me like I've hurt his damn feelings, if I didn't know any better I would have to swear he was sporting a pretty heavy man-crush on me but no, I think he seems to be making himself clear. He's not interested in me, he's interested in a woman that is my heart's desire.

I am 33 years old and as I said she makes me feel like a teenager again, an angry teenager that wants to haul his ass out to the parking lot and challenge him to a fight that will no doubt leave his ass crying on the pavement. Again something she would hold against me, even though it is her that inspires me to do all these things I never would have done two months ago.

I have tried so hard to just smile at her and keep my damn mouth shut because she requested time and I have nothing but time, I can wait.

By Wednesday night I had found myself curled up in bed about as much as a six foot three inch man can curl wishing that I could still smell her on my pillows…I can't. She is gone.

Thursday was a real doozy for me, not only was Mike annoying as hell because he kept offering to do this and do that for me, all things that someone else was now doing but he actually tried to make conversation with me about Sookie.

"So professor, what are your thoughts on Sookie Stackhouse?"

"Excuse me?" I was a little nervous at first thinking he knew something.

"Well, she's a great student, right? Quite intelligent too." Mike pressed.

"Ah…sure, I guess you could say that."

"Yeah, I've been trying to get to know her better. We've had a few classes together but she doesn't really bother with anyone."

I know he was waiting for a response but I kept quiet, what was I going to say 'well that would be because she is with me now' ok so maybe she just might not be with me anymore but that fuck wouldn't have the right to know shit.

"So yeah" He continued. "I was wondering, I don't really date much and I thought you could recommend somewhere nice to take her maybe after dinner for a while."

That got my attention "Dinner?"

"Um yeah, she agreed to go out with me so I just wondered if you knew of a place."

Fucking asshole, why would I know of a place? He's the little prick that's been going to school here for the last how many years. Is this some sort of joke? Did she put him up to this? No, she wouldn't do that because even he would get suspicious as to why she was trying to fuck with me.

While all this shit was racing through my head I vaguely recall telling him something about Firehouse 12 and Jazz, I have no idea why I would send him there. That was our place, maybe that's my answer…I wanted her to think of me when they went.

I had been thinking that it was strange she hadn't been willing to talk to me yet, she said a few days and it's been that and now she has a date? What the fuck? I was angry, really fucking angry. I was no longer that teenaged boy that wants to challenge him to a fight, I was enraged to the point where I was beyond having a rational thought and without a doubt I was his worst fucking nightmare come true!

I wondered briefly if I would be first the Professor to be arrested for murdering one of his students in a jealous rage…jesus christ, I need to calm down.

And then she walked past my desk on her way out and fucking smiled at me, if I thought that it had felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest when she walked out on me, while in my office with fucking Felicia. I had been wrong because seeing her look at me the same way she always has and yet know she was going out with Newton, that shit…well I am man enough to admit that it broke my fucking heart.

I don't know how I made it through Thursday night and all day Friday but I had and I couldn't take it anymore, I broke down and called Pam. I needed to talk and she was always a good listener. We still were not quite back to normal where our friendship was concerned, I think she still felt a little humiliated about putting herself out there and basically being rejected.

Sookie had told me a few weeks in that Pam was basically the reason we were where we were, that she might not have saw me again romantically after finding out I was her professor if Pam hadn't said a few things.

She wouldn't tell me how the conversation came to be or what was said and I was almost certain I would not have been happy with whatever Pam had had to say, but I was more than happy that it got us to that point.

Pam showed up at my house within thirty minutes of calling her and I was more than aware that by this time Sookie was probably on her way to Firehouse 12 if not there by now.

The moment I opened the door Pam was on me, grabbing my arms and dragging me to the couch to sit.

"What the hell is wrong, Eric? You sounded so…different when you called, and you look like shit!"

"Thanks, Pam. That's why I called you here, I feel the need to be brought down a peg or two."

She just looked at me for a moment, not speaking. "She did this to you, didn't she? What the fuck did she do? I'll kill her, Eric!"

"P..am.." Was all I got out because something that was a shock to both of us had occurred, my voice cracked and I choked back a sob, a fucking sob.

Pam had been so shocked by it that she had initially backed away from me, looking at me like I had just told her that it was illegal to catch mice in Cleveland without a hunting license. Yes, she looked at me like I had two fucking heads.

I managed to control myself quickly but not before one lone tear managed to slide down my cheek and Pam reached up wiping it away. I didn't move, not one inch, I couldn't look at her. No one alive had ever seen me shed a tear since I was eight years old, I had no reason to feel embarrassed or ashamed but I couldn't stand to see the pity that I am sure was plastered across Pam's face.

"Oh my god" She whispered and I am sure I was not meant to hear it.

My doorbell rang and I was shocked to see Sookie standing there looking like what I was sure to be almost as bad as I must look. I just looked at her for a moment and she broke the silence first.

"I want to fight." She breathed, so softly I almost didn't catch it.

"What?"

"It just feels like if it isn't one thing it's another with us, we have to fight to move ahead together" I couldn't help the very short lived smile that my lips formed as she quoted my letter back to me.

That was before Pam came barrelling around the corner and saw who was standing in my doorway.

"You bitch! You have some fucking nerve showing your face here, you broke him, you fucking broke him!" She screamed as she lunged at Sookie.

I hauled her back before she could even lay a finger on Sookie. "Pamela, that's enough for fuck sakes! This is my house and we will all be civilized here." Pam could be a real bitch but she was not known to be violent, so I knew that she was beyond upset.

Sookie looked from Pam to me a few times before she seemed to register what Pam had said, at which point she lunged for me. Throwing herself against me, wrapping her arms around my neck as best she could with the height difference.

"Oh god, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" She cried against my neck as I unconsciously wrapped my arms around her pulling her up off of the floor and into my chest.

"Your fucking kidding me right? She brings your ass, Eric fucking Northman's ass, I might add to tears and you just hug her!"

"I said enough, Pam. Thank you for coming over but I think it might be best if you gave Sookie and me some time alone."

I hadn't released Sookie yet and didn't want to but I knew that it would be best to talk to Pam alone for a minute. Sookie was composed but I could tell she was clearly on the verge of easily breaking down again.

"Hey" I spoke quietly as I leaned down cupping both her cheeks in my hands "Can you go into my room for a minute, I just need to talk to Pam and I think it will be easier alone. Is that ok?"

She didn't say anything but she nodded and I quickly kissed her forehead and sent her on her way. I watched as she turned and walked up the stairs and heard as the door softly clicked closed.

"You actually want me to leave you here with her, Eric, I have never seen you like that before. It seriously scared me for a minute…"

"I know" I tried to smile at her but all I really wanted was for her to understand that I need this, I need for her to go so that Sookie and I can have the discussion we should have had two weeks ago. Not to mention the one we should have completed almost two months ago, the one that would not have left any room for doubt on both our parts.

"No one has ever affected me like her, Pam. She is…special to me."

"Fine, I'll go but I want you to call me when this is all over with. I need to know that you're ok."

"Ok, I'll talk to you later. Just…just let yourself out, ok?"

"Sure."

I knocked on my bedroom door and Sookie called out for me to come in. She was curled up on my bed with a book in her hands, just as she should be…always.

"Hi"

"Hey"

We had both murmured at the same time and offered one another a small smile.

"Well" I started "I'm not sure where to start I wanted to say ladies first but that was purely my gentlemanly manners kicking in, considering the circumstances though part of me thinks I should go first."

She took her bottom lip into her mouth and was lightly chewing on it, something I had come to notice that she would do when nervous.

"Ok, are you sure though, I mean I know that you know about…tonight and I'd rather you not sit there thinking things that you shouldn't be. Or at least shouldn't have to…" She trailed off.

"I'm good Sookie, did you want to go back downstairs? You look comfortable though, you can stay where you are actually." I told her before taking a seat in a chair that was off to the side of my bed in front of a built in book shelf.

"I'm just going to start with something big, like Felicia." I started feeling extremely uncomfortable watching Sookie intently for any sign that I should stop but she just offered me that small smile again and I knew I could continue.

"She called me almost two weeks ago, claiming that we were going to be…ah well, parents. I called her on it of course because I've been there, done that sort of thing with her. I should have told you then, I know that."

Sookie hadn't taken her eyes off of me, I could tell that she was a little on edge but she was holding up. I just wanted to get it all out there so I trudged forward.

"I suppose there is a chance that it is mine but there had to be so many others with the lifestyle she had been leading behind my back, I am sure she had affairs with more than just the people I had witnessed."

It didn't escape my attention that Sookie cringed and closed her eyes briefly when I mentioned the cheating aspect of my relationship with Felicia. I was a little unsure of what that meant, had she also been cheated on?

"I guess it's just a waiting game for now, but I want you to know that I want nothing to do with her. I cared about her yes, or I would not have been with her but she was never to me what you are. I know that must seem strange because here we are barely two months in…" She cringed again, god to know what was going through her mind right now. "and I already feel more for you than I did a woman I was married to for five years plus."

"It's not strange, Eric. Well it might be to some but I know what you mean because I feel the same way…I think?" She had a questioning look on her face as she responded.

"I'm only telling you about my feelings for her because if by chance she is carrying my child, I won't go back. I need you to believe that and I don't want you to feel like you are keeping me from something, even if you had never come along I would not go back. I can guarantee that, I don't love her, I never have not in that way."

I looked into her eyes again trying to read whatever it was that she was thinking through them, this was one time that I was not successful but I wanted for to know my every thought in this moment. Even what my biggest fear was in telling her.

"I really am sorry for not talking to you sooner, Sookie. I hate that we have had to go through the last week, I have been miserable without you. My greatest fear in telling you was that you would leave me, I didn't even give thought to how you would feel once you found out that I had known for a while. It was wrong of me, I know that and I hope you will be able to forgive me for it. I will never keep anything from you again if you were to allow me to continue to be a part of your life."

I stood and walked the few steps to the side of my bed and sat down facing her, we were both quiet for a moment her probably taking it all in and me trying to figure out how to say what I most wanted to.

"I always knew that I didn't feel the way I should for her, but do you know how I know without question that I never loved her?" I asked as I brought my hand to her face, stroking her cheek lightly with my fingertips

"No" She whispered.

"Because I now know what it feels like to love someone, to be in love with someone and I promise you that I have never felt this way before."

She blinked and a few tears escaped her eyes. "I…you…oh god I'm so sorry, Eric."

"Don't, don't be sorry. Just tell me what your thinking, please." I implored her to tell me.

"I'm thinking that it is my turn to speak before I respond to your words." She sucked in a sharp breath and I quickly wiped the tears from her face.

She took my hands in her own and brought them to her lap, and her eyes never left mine as she spoke.

"First of all, I am happy that you were able to talk to me about Felicia. I know that what she did still hurt you because you did at least care about her and I feel horrible that I practically did the same thing to you by going out with Mike-" I cut her off right there.

"No, never compare your actions to hers. I may not understand them but I never thought you to be like her in any way." I was pretty sure that these were the thoughts I had wished to know, why she had cringed. She thought I would see her as I do Felicia and I never would, never could, they were two completely different people.

"I want you to be able to understand them, when I read your letter it made me realise many things but most importantly it made me realise how deep my feelings for you actually were. I won't lie it frightened me to think that my life had so suddenly and so easily become so wrapped up in a man, in you. I haven't been able to be with a man since…"

"Take your time, love. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

"I know, thank you. Ok, I haven't been so comfortable with a man in a long time It had come so easily with you, too easily in fact that I found myself entertaining thoughts of it being fate that brought us together. I needed to know that what I was feeling was…real, it was a mistake, I never should have gone out with him. I should have trusted what I felt, especially once I recognised it for what it was."

I didn't like hearing about Mike but I knew it was something that needed to be said and I can't deny that I was more than happy that she ended up on my door step before her date should have even been over.

"I love you."

They were three simple words and I knew she had meant them by simply looking into her eyes. I had just told her the same thing but without the use of those three words and even I knew there was a difference. She also deserved to hear them from me.

"I love you, too." I stated leaning in, our faces only inches a part and I brushed my lips against hers. I deepened the kiss but only because I wanted her to feel how much I loved her, I put every last bit of emotion that I could muster up into that kiss before slowly pulling away.

"You have no idea just how much I love you, lover," I said grinning at her.

"Oh I think I just might…"

**A/N: This chapter was driving me crazy, I am still not satisfied with it but I have been staring at it for hours and I need to move on. I hope it is not too much of a disappointment. There is still a little more to say between the two, but we'll hear that from Sookie's POV next chapter.**

**A/N: All characters belong to Charlaine Harris. **


	14. Chapter 14

**Sookie POV:**

We had spent the last hour at least, talking about us, our feelings, our mistakes, our relationship and had settled on the fact that we were now officially an 'us', Eric thinking he was being funny requested that I no longer 'date' and if it hadn't made me laugh so hard I might have actually wanted to smack him.

I, on the other hand had thought I was being somewhat funny as well by stating that I was fine with that as long he didn't impregnate any other soon to be ex wives. As soon as it left my mouth I wanted to kick myself.

I know my words were not much worse than his but there was a difference, we were still going to be dealing with the fact that Felicia may be having his baby. I felt my comment was just a tad more inconsiderate and just not funny at all anymore, if it even had been.

As much as I was more than tempted to jump him numerous times, I kept my distance knowing that this time we had to actually come to a more clearer understanding with one another.

He asked me to be honest with him about everything, just let him know up front what has been the bigger issues with him, so I did.

"I want you to be able to talk to me about anything, I do not want to be left in the dark again. I also do not ever want to be left feeling the way I felt last week…when you left me on the coun…well in the kitchen. When Felicia called."

He nodded at me letting me know that he was listening and I continued. "I felt used, and completely disrespected…oh and never hit ignore on my calls again, unless you're in a meeting or something. I normally would not have known that you did that but I was there so I am aware that you did and that was really rude, being angry or upset over something does not give you the right to treat people like shit."

"I know, and I am sorry. I'm sorry for everything, Sookie, there are so many things that I am truly sorry for right now that I can't even begin to list them off."

"I don't need you to list them off, it's done and over with. We know what they are and you will just not repeat your actions, right? Let's not dwell on it anymore Eric, it's not worth it."

"How is it that we came so close to losing everything over all of this yet we've been able to clear most of it up so easily?" He asked.

"I don't know. I told you before, that it all just seemed to come too easily with you from the start." I answered him truthfully. "It's pretty simple really, I need you in my life, I feel like I can't breath without you, and…I can't even think of my life without you in it right now."

The absolute worst part of that statement, was the truth it held. I couldn't imagine a life that didn't include Eric, but I knew that soon enough there would be no need for imagination. Soon enough I would be back in Bon Temps, but I wasn't about to allow that

thought to keep me from experiencing this time with a man I love and that by some miracle loves me back.

And a miracle it would take if he were to know about me, about my past. It had been so long now since I had given any thought to his words, _damaged goods. _He had sworn to me that after he was finished with me, people would know what I had allowed to happen and that no one would ever see me the same again.

There was a small part of me that believed in his words while for the most part I knew that I had only done what I had to do, I wanted a life, a future, I wanted to live to see my friends and family.

"Sookie, Sookie…hey." I was surprised to see a rather concerned looking Eric hovering over me while he repeated my name. "Where were you just then, you were talking and then…you were just gone.

"I'm sorry, I guess I'm just tired. It's been a long day, a long week really."

"You don't have to tell me." He whispered. "You know, I can't imagine a future without you in it either."

He smiled at me and I leaned forward softly kissing his cheek. "Thank you" I whispered against his warm skin. He crawled up beside me and I cuddled into his side, I had missed this. I closed my eyes for what should have been only a moment, but when I next opened my eyes Eric was sleeping peacefully next to me, we were both fully clothed and it was after two in the morning.

I slid out from under his arm in desperate need for a quick bathroom break. I'd nearly cleared the bed when I felt Eric's fingers wrap around my wrist. "Please stay." He murmured, afraid that I was sneaking off on him.

"I'm not going anywhere, I'll be right back." I whispered and he released me.

When I returned to the room Eric was standing at his dresser holding a change of cloths, his pants hung low on his hips as he had released his buttons. He held out a pair of boxers and t-shirt for me to sleep in for the rest of the night.

"Thank you. Sorry I hadn't meant to fall asleep."

He didn't respond with words but hesitantly brought his lips to mine, his eyes were dark and hooded as I slipped my hands around his neck pulling him to me. It was only a matter of seconds after he felt me responding that he had me pressed against the bedroom wall by his exquisite form.

His tongue quickly slipped into my mouth and I had never been so happy to finally feel at home again, that is what he was to me, home. I couldn't explain it if I tried, how he had become my safe place, my home, but he had.

I hated that we had thrown ourselves so far off track, it had only been a week apart but that week, given our time frame had felt like a lifetime if I really thought back on it.

"Mmm, I love your mouth, your lips…so soft and sweet, baby."

I fisted my hand into his beautiful head of hair and moaned loudly into his mouth. His body automatically responded to our closeness and he ground his hips against me.

I pulled away sliding my back down the wall and my hands worked quickly at removing his length from the confines of his pants. I wrapped my lips around his now swollen member and moaned, it had been so long since I had tasted him.

My tongue ghosted along the underside of his shaft as I slid him in and out of my mouth, I pulled back stopping at the head and sucked and licked him like he was my own personal lollipop.

"Mmm…you taste so fucking good," I moaned and felt him tense as the vibrations from my throat shot through him.

"Fuck, baby." He groaned and I noticed that his knees had buckled slightly, he leaned forward placing one palm on the wall behind me to steady himself while the other grasped the hair at the back of my head.

I took as much of him in my mouth as I could comfortably and made a snug ring out of my thumb and index finger around what I couldn't take in, my hand stroked him as my mouth took in the rest. He moaned loudly and I swirled my tongue around his shaft as he began to thrust forward urging me to take more.

I could feel him begin to pulse and expand in my mouth causing me to moan even more and emit soft satisfied sounds as he shot his release down my throat, I sucked and licked up everything until I had swallowed every last drop before looking up from under my lashes and meeting his eyes.

"Sweet fuck, Sookie. That was fucking spectacular!" He expressed quietly, gently tugging on the hair his hand still grasped pulling me to him.

He pulled back, his eyes held mine for a moment and I slipped my hands back around his neck as he leaned forward to kiss my lips. His eyes were even darker and his breathing entirely too laboured as he panted softly against my lips.

He picked me up carrying me bridal style to his bed, after having slid my dress off my shoulders and watching as it slid down my body landing in a pile at my feet. His lips were leaving a trail of fire as they grazed my skin along my jaw line and down my neck.

He laid me down gently at the edge of the bed and dropped to his knees, running his beautiful hands up and down my thighs. I brought my legs together, rubbing them against one other seeking friction and his large hands clamped down.

"No" He growled and pried my legs apart, letting his fingers lightly graze along my skin as he lifted first, one then the other of my legs over each of his shoulders. Leaning forward he brought his lips to my inner thigh placing open mouthed kissed all the way up to my core, his hand rubbed circles over my folds through my panties and I could feel how wet they were already.

"I can smell your arousal, Sookie. God you smell so good, lover."

"Please don't stop." I begged.

"Oh I'm a long ways away from stopping baby, this isn't over by a long shot." He moaned as he nipped at my clit before finally sliding his hands up to the sides of my panties and sliding them down my hips and legs, tossing them aside.

. Until this moment his eyes had been trained on me never leaving my own. He placed a few soft kisses along my folds before slipping his tongue inside of me and he continuingly switched between rubbing circles over my clit and pinching it lightly.

My hands are clutching the sheets at my sides as nervous excitement fills my stomach, he inserts his fingers pumping in and out of me while his tongue continues to lick. Lapping up juices from below his fingers. My walls tighten and clench around him as I cry out his name and my body aches for him as I feel the loss of his tongue and fingers when he pulls away.

He stood at the side of the bed and removed the remainder of his own clothes, I watched as his firm erection broke free. He was beautiful, every part of him, I would never have my fill of him. I could spend the rest of my life paying homage to this man, worshiping him and still never, never get enough of him.

I pulled myself further up the bed reaching behind myself to unclasp my bra and Eric crawled up my body reaching forward to slide my bra off my shoulder tossing it aside. His eyes were dark and filled with excitement, and I knew that we had been apart too long for liking as well.

"Your beautiful, baby. Do you know that?" He asked as his hands ghosted over my skin, he used one hand to hold my arms down above my head while the finger tips of his other trailed from the swell of my breast, down my rib cage, and over my hip slipping down to gently squeeze my bottom.

I was so turned on that my throat was dry, I was parched and I couldn't find my voice, much less the words to speak. I nodded my head gazing into his eyes, knowing that he wanted me to say yes.

We'd had sex numerous times over the past almost two months now, we'd had a slower, more passionate sex, we'd had fast and hard sex, hell we'd even straight up fucked a few times but this night was the first time that we had made love.

It was soft, slow and tender with more passion than we'd ever shared. I could feel how much love he was putting into each delicate caress, each gentle touch of his lips, as he whispered words of love and hope with each impassioned thrust.

His eyes never left mine as he gently squeezed just a little tighter on our already entwined hands that were resting just above either side of my head as we found our sweet release together.

His forehead came to rest against my own as our breathing slowly returned to normal, and my heart rate finally slowed to a more regular beat.

He kissed me reverently before removing himself from me, rolling to his side and pulling me into his chest. We drifted off to sleep naked in one another's arms, never more satisfied or content, never more sure about anything in our lives and never more complete.

**A/N: Thank you so much for continuing to read, there have been many, many inquiries as to when Sookie's past will be revealed. Obviously, I touched on it in this chapter but it will most likely be brought to light in two more chapters. Hope you all enjoy!**

**A/N: All characters belong to Charlaine Harris. **


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Disturbing content in this chapter, of course, I will not be going into such detail as I sometimes do with my lemons. As this is NOT a lemon. Keeping that in mind, the subject may still be offensive to some as it does include talk of a sexual assault. **

**Sookie POV:**

Things had never seemed to run so darn smoothly in life for me before now. Eric and I have been even happier together over the past almost six weeks since finally sorting out our issues.

Eric and I guess myself had been ecstatic to find out that he was NOT the father to Felicia's unborn child. We weren't expecting to have this information until after the baby was born but with Felicia being in her mid thirties like Eric, her doctor had recommended having an amniocentesis performed for chromosome disorder analysis which can be common if the mother is in her mid to late 30s or older, or if either parent has a family history of a genetic disorders, such as Down Syndrome.

Since the procedure was already being done Eric had argued to have the Prenatal Paternity Test done as well. She tried to fight it, wanting to drag it out but the testing was already being done for other reasons so in the end the paternity test had been done and he was not going to be a father.

After finding out this bit of information it seemed there was nowhere to go but up, not that we would not have been able to work through it if he had in fact been the father. But we had been hoping otherwise and were happy with the outcome.

I had just left Eric's class after hanging around after because I had been trying to work up the nerve to ask him to come home with me for the holidays. I couldn't think of anything that would make me happier than to spend the christmas holidays with him at my home in Bon Temps.

This was a huge step for me and for him since he agreed to go, I would be off from December 17th to January 6th but we'd have to wait a few days to leave in order for Eric to have time to get finals graded and handed in.

Even if we couldn't leave until a couple days before christmas itself we would still have at least ten or twelve days together. I was excited and he had seemed just as excited after he had gotten over the shock of me asking in the first place.

I couldn't help the huge smile on my face, I probably looked insane walking through the campus smiling ear to ear but I didn't care. In just over a weeks time I would be heading home with Eric by my side.

I walked towards the English Dept. intending to meet up with Amelia, we were going to be having lunch together today.

My feet came to a sudden stop, I was anchored in place as my body seemed to be frozen in what was sure to be a combination of at least three emotions; fear, shock, and disbelief.

What the fuck was he doing here?

I would never in a million years have thought that he would have the nerve to show his face here, not here anyway.

'Why wouldn't he have the nerve, Sookie. You were the one that feared him not the other way around. Oh god, I'm gonna be sick.' I thought to myself.

I had let myself be a victim, more specifically his victim. We had dated very briefly times prior to that night, which is one of the reasons I had partially blamed myself in the end.

We went to dinner at first and really seemed to hit off, we had seemed to enjoy doing many of the same things, although we differed greatly in one area. He was a much more physical person than I. He didn't hide it and spoke rather freely of his interest to do more than just 'hang out'.

We would laugh it off and he never made any major advances towards me, I was comfortable with him. After attending one of a few parties together he walked me home as usual and I had invited him in for a coffee, one thing had led to another and before I knew it we were both half naked with him hovering over me on my couch.

I had only been with one man and that was my high school boyfriend, Sam Merlotte, senior year. We had been intimate all of about half a dozen times before we decided to go our separate ways, we were set to attend University more than a 24 hour drive away from one another. He was staying near home, attending school in Shreveport and would be taking over the family business and my former place of employment. Merlotte's, the local watering hole.

Of course, the break up was made pretty easy by the fact that although we had dated for close to a year, and I did believe that I was in love with him at the time that I had opted to let him deflower me. It had sadly not been the case, when he first mentioned ending things I thought my heart would break and when I wasn't at all upset by it, I realised that he had just been a silly crush that I must have gotten over before we even broke up.

Andre and I had a pretty hot and heavy make out session going on, which consisted mainly of kissing and rather heavy petting. It wasn't until I felt his fingers penetrate me that I started to feel uncomfortable, this wasn't what I wanted. I wasn't ready to have sex with him and I knew that was exactly where his mind was at right now.

The sudden realization seemed to sober me up almost immediately and I tensed beneath him.

"You ok, Sookie?" He asked, a little winded.

"I, no. I'm sorry. I'm just not ready for this yet."

His eyes glazed over and he appeared to be angry but he pushed himself up and off of me., putting a small smile on his face as he looked over at me.

"Ok, I can't say that I'm not a little frustrated after all this." He said and gestured to our near nakedness. "But I can respect that, we can wait…for now."

I remember not liking the way he had responded, the tone in his voice and the added 'for now' had me even more uncomfortable. Once he left my apartment I made the decision to not see him anymore, he was a few years older and was set to graduate. He'd be gone soon and it wouldn't have to be awkward for me.

It didn't quite work that way because Andre refused to accept the fact that I didn't want to see him anymore. He would conveniently show up in way too many of the same places for it to be a coincidence, he was always watching me and would approach me when alone every chance that he got.

Amelia and I had just met and became fast friends, she had just met her now boyfriend Trey and we were all out at a party, Alcide included and the guys decided that the best way to deal with him was physically but Amelia stepped in suggesting that Alcide and I pretend to date and that this whole mess would be over once he realises that I had moved on.

Alcide agreed and we danced, and held hands. He even went so far as to kiss me but I only allowed the one so as not to look like we weren't actually together, he was warned the moment we had a second alone not to try it again.

The events that would occur that evening after I returned home were so far beyond my worst nightmares and had me wishing that I had just gone ahead and slept with Andre that first night, maybe the outcome would have been different, maybe he might have moved on once he had gotten what he wanted.

Before that night I hadn't noticed the size of his ego, his family had a bit of money, he was an attractive man and could have just about any girl he wanted. I don't think he had ever been turned down before or I guess dumped would be the term although we weren't technically together.

Flaunting Alcide in his face was my worst mistake, well it was at least the final mistake, and Andre's breaking point. I hadn't known it at the time as he disappeared shortly after most likely noticing that I appeared to be with someone, I thought that it was what finally worked since he gone.

I lived alone at the time and entered my apartment by myself, I didn't get very far before something hard seemed to come crashing down against my temple. I seen nothing but white spots and then darkness.

I had come to lying on the floor of my living room, my head pounding and a small pool of blood by my head. I looked over to see Andre sprawled out across my couch watching me.

"Nice of you to join me, Sookie. I wasn't sure if you'd show up alone or with the new guy so I brought a friend along." He said and waved a small gun in front of himself.

I tried to quickly sit up only to fall back again, dizzy from an obvious blow to the head. I pulled myself up much slower this time until I was upright leaning against a nearby chair.

"What are you doing here, Andre? What do you want?"

"I want what should have been mine already, do you think you can just disrespect me like that and get away with it?" He asked calmly as he stood and walked towards me.

The man was bat shit crazy, I wasn't his, not now, not ever. And respect? Yeah like he's proving himself to be a respectable man.

My stomach flipped, my hands were shaking before he even took two steps in my direction. His eyes held a crazed a look, they were wild as he strode toward me, gun in hand.

He pointed it at me as he kicked at my leg with such force that I cried out from the pain that shot through my body, causing him to violently yank me to my feet by my hair.

"Stand up, now I said! Let's go!" He yelled as I struggled to stay upright, I was still light headed but afraid he would hit me again if I didn't do as he said. He dragged me across the room to my bedroom door before finally releasing my hair, tossing me across the threshold.

I knew in that moment what was about to happen and prayed that if I just went along with him that he would not use the gun on me. I didn't want to die, I wasn't prepared to accept that fate just yet.

My legs were so unsteady as I tried to stumble across my room, I'd never stay in here again. This much I knew without a shadow of a doubt.

"Remove your clothes." He demanded.

"I'm sorry?" My voice shook. I heard very clearly what he had said but words were just leaving my mouth before I could stop myself.

"I said, take your fucking clothes off!" At first I refused, shaking my head hastily and his hand connected with the side of my face.

"Don't make me repeat myself, do as your fucking told!" He growled at me.

I pulled my shirt over my head with shaking hands and had difficulty unbuttoning my pants as my fingers did not want to work with me. I sucked in a quivering breath hoping that for some unknown reason he'd allow to leave my bra and panties on, but there was no such luck.

"All of it!" I felt the tears begin to slide down my face as I slipped my panties off and unclasped my bra, letting them both drop to the floor.

Everything beyond that point was a blank to me, I tried to black it out, imagine I was elsewhere. I remember the pain though, I remember that he never bothered with preparing my body for his entrance, and I remember begging him to just leave when he was done, I swore I would never tell a soul what had happened.

He held the gun to my head and swore he'd be back to finish me off if he even thought he had a reason to be concerned.

"I didn't treat you any differently than you deserved, you're a filthy fucking whore! You lay near naked with me here, damn near fucked me in that fucking room" He growled gesturing to my living room. " and in no time your whore ass is all over some other guy. You just remember what all your little southern friends back home will think of you when they find out what you did here, what you let me do here." He spat and ran his hand along my ass, reminding me of just how much he had taken from me and the humiliation I would face in a town as small as Bon Temps.

I didn't want my friends and family to know, I didn't want to be that person. The one they all pity and can never look at in the same way again, I refuse to be.

I vaguely recall hearing him leave, closing the door behind him. I was still naked and curled up in a tight ball hours later when I woke to daylight peaking through my blinds.

By now my body was aching and there was blood smeared randomly across my sheets, but still I never moved. I laid still through the ringing of my phone, and banging on my door until I drifted off again.

I woke to the sounds of a restrained sob, and quiet whispers in a darkened room. It was not my room anymore, I was no longer naked and my body didn't hurt near as much. For an instant I prayed that somehow it had all been a horrible nightmare, but I registered Amelia's cry as she caught my eye.

I could only open the one, the other felt tight and puffy. Maybe swollen from the first smack I received in the face. I panicked when I realised that somehow they had found me, I was no longer in my home…oh god did they call the police?!

"What did you do, Amelia?" I screamed as I shot up from the bed, only then did I register that I could in fact still feel the pain.

"Ssshhh, calm down honey." She attempted to soothe me as she ran her hand down my hair.

"No! Oh god…who did you tell? He'll come back, he'll come back!" I was in full panic now, I couldn't breathe, couldn't catch my breath, I was gasping for air, any amount of air.

"Nobody, I didn't tell anybody, I promise. You were freaking out, you wouldn't let me call anyone. You were so scared, Sookie. It's ok, sweetie. Just calm down, your going to hyperventilate."

I tried to slow my breathing, calm myself down which helped to finally take in some much needed oxygen.

"It took everything I had to convince you to let me at least call my father's personal physician, Dr. Ludwig. He pays her well for complete confidentiality, no one will know anything, Sook. I was so scared…you, well you were in pretty rough shape. it's been two days since I find you."

"What?" I was shocked that I had no recollection of the last two days nor could I recall Amelia finding me, or begging her not to call anyone.

Amelia and I hadn't been friends for all that long just yet, maybe five or six months. It was this ordeal that brought us closer than ever, we were quickly best friends, and roommates as I never returned to my apartment. She invited me to stay and I did, she had a moving company pack up my personal belongings and I told her to have all the furniture shipped to a good will somewhere.

I started over, it was a new day, a new me, and I never looked back. Not until today as I watched the new English Professor enter his class…

**A/N: Oh god…thank goodness that is done. I had a hard time figuring out how much I could safely write, and sincerely hope that with the help/advice of Gallathea, that I have not offended anyone.**

**Of course, if anyone was bothered in some way by this chapter, Gallathea, has not seen it. So she takes no responsibility, she simply offered some words of advice that were quite helpful! **

**A/N: All characters belong to Charlaine Harris. **


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Sorry for taking so long on the update this time, real life sometimes gets in the way. I was also having a little trouble with the progression of the chapter, so hopefully everyone is happy with it.**

**Eric POV:**

The drive from the small airport in Shreveport to Bon Temps had been…interesting to say the least. Sookie was quiet for much of it as she had been during the flight. The difference being that we were exhausted and she had slept through much of it, so the quiet was to be expected.

She was quite awake for the drive so her silence was unnerving. I had already unsuccessfully tried to coax a little conversation out of her when we first started out but I was determined to break the ice before we arrived at her childhood home.

"Are you nervous, Sook?"

"Hmm…oh sorry, baby, maybe a little. I am very excited too though, I've never brought anyone home before. Not that there is anyone waiting at the house or anything to meet you, but still, I wish Gran could have met you."

"I wish I could have met her too." I replied, happy that she was at least answering in more than one word sentences finally. "You have friends here though, will any of them be around?"

"Probably Tara, and you might meet Jason. I usually do see him at least once when I'm in town and it is christmas."

"Thank you, Sookie."

"For?"

"For inviting me to visit your home, it means a lot to me." I told her as I reached out for her hand, taking it in mine and bringing hers to my lips.

"Me too, I'm glad you could come. I can't wait to wake up next to you christmas morning." She spoke quietly at first but was almost giddy as she spoke the last words.

I laughed out loud seeing Sookie act so young at heart, not near immature at all, just free and happy like a carefree child would be. I was never one to be a great admirer of the holidays, it really had always been just another day to me. I was fairly certain that this year would be different, she wasn't the only one that was excited for the days ahead.

"We're getting pretty close now, Eric. Hummingbird Road is only a mile or so up the road on your right."

I turned onto the dirt road leading up to her home, I was a little surprised to see that she had grown up right next to a cemetery. It didn't bother me or anything, I just thought it was something she'd mention, I probably would have.

I would have cracked a joke about it, I had a few good ones in mind but I had a pretty good feeling that both her parents and her Gran were buried there and it felt inappropriate to say the least.

"The property is breathtaking Sookie, I can see why you want to come home and settle down here."

"It is isn't it…" She said dreamily and mostly to herself.

The farmhouse was definitely old but I could tell that it was being kept up as she had told me once before. It was white with a beautiful front porch that ran the full length of the house, thick round pillars sat at each end as well as two more in the centre to the side of the wide steps leading up to the house. An old porch swing sat to the left of the door, the windows had obviously all been replaced in the last few years, and there were dark gray shutters surrounding them.

Although the ground was covered in a light dusting of snow, the fact that the home was surrounded by a beautiful garden was still visible. I could almost picture Sookie on a bright summer day, a slight sweat induced sheen covering her body as she kneeled down tending to the many different flowers and shrubs, it would be a beautiful sight indeed.

I almost gasped as I looked around noticing the way in which the snow settled on the bare limbs of the trees surrounding the house it was indescribable, almost…hauntingly beautiful.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Sookie asked noticing my reaction to the surrounding trees.

"Absolutely, I am beginning to think that everything about this place is…amazingly beautiful." I told her knowing full well that she was aware that I was also referring to her beauty.

She smiled brightly as a small blush covered her cheeks. "Come on let's get our bags in the house, we need to shoot into town quickly for a few groceries."

I grabbed our bags and followed Sookie into the house, it too was definitely older looking but still beautiful as well. I only really had a look at the kitchen, living room and Sookie's room, but every room was huge with very high ceilings. The furnishings were a mixture of what was obviously her grandmother's antiques as well as some newer, more modern additions that Sookie must have made in more recent years.

"We should stop and pick up a tree on the way back, baby." I mentioned as we passed a tree farm while entering town.

Her eyes lit up at the mention of it. "I never even thought about it, but your right we can't have our first christmas without one. We'll stop at the hardware store and get some new ornaments too. I have some but much of it is probably ready to be tossed."

"Let's do that first then so the groceries aren't waiting too long in the car."

She agreed and we made our purchases quickly, bought everything we thought we'd need for our stay including all the fixings for a traditional christmas dinner. Sookie was planning to invite her brother as well as Tara and her husband if they were available to join us.

We chose the biggest tree on the lot, it was both tall and thick. Sookie got the groceries put away while I got the tree set up, we weren't decorating it tonight because she said it needed to 'settle'.

"Hey" She whispered against my ear, wrapping her arms around me from behind. I had just sat down in a chair admiring the sheer size if the damn tree we had gotten. "Why don't you grab a quick shower while a get a fire going for us."

"I could do that Sookie, you can shower first." I offered.

"I love you, Eric Northman, but I think we both know that YOU are a city boy and at least for tonight it might be best to leave the fire to me."

"Pfftt, a city boy!" I feigned hurt and disappointment that she had no faith in me. "How difficult could it be, lover. Just point me in the direction of the 'switch' and I'll have it started immediately."

She barked out a loud laugh before pulling me up and smacking my ass as she sent me on my way to shower. "Go city slicker, go make yourself all purdy for me."

We were both showered, grabbed a quick bite to eat and relaxed in front of the fire for a bit, we were ready to settle in early, it had been a long day. We climbed into bed together, shared a few kisses and whispered declarations of love before drifting off to sleep wrapped in each other's arms.

The next two days went by pretty quickly and before we knew it we were waking up in Sookie's bed together christmas morning. Sookie jumped out of bed before I could attempt to pull her back into my arms, she was in the shower before I had even managed to climb out of the bed.

I decided to get a jump start on the day and prove that I could actually get a fire going all on my own. I had to admit it was slightly more difficult than my gas one at home.

"Look at you, Eric, fire started, the tree all lit up and I can smell the delicious aroma of a finely brewed pot of coffee. You've been a busy boy." Her arms wrapped around my waist and she placed light kisses across my back as she spoke.

"I wanted everything to be perfect for you, I would have started breakfast but I thought we could do that together after we open our gifts." I spun around in her arms pulling her even closer to me. "Merry Christmas, Sookie, thank you for allowing me to spend it here with you. I love you." I whispered and gently kissed the spot below her ear that I knew to drive her insane.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Eric. There isn't anyone I would rather spend it with, baby. I love you, so much, more than I ever thought possible." Her words were touching and brought so many emotions forward, emotions that again, I was not aware were even possible. I've known for a while that I love, Sookie Stackhouse, but I don't know if I knew before today that I was IN love with her.

I didn't know how I would ever cope without her.

"Oh my god! Theses are beautiful…" She exclaimed upon opening the matching smoky topaz square setting that was surrounded by diamonds. ring and necklace, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "but I…I don't know if I can accept them Eric, it's too much."

I leaned forward bringing my lips to hers "Sookie, it's just a gift from me to you. I want you to have something on your body to always remind you of me, of my love for you. It would please me, make me happy if you would wear them for me." I felt her smile against my lips, eliciting the same from my own knowing that for once I had won, however small the feat, it made me happy.

She had gotten me a new watch that she'd had engraved with a simple yet loving endearment 'our timeless love'. It seems we had both wanted the other to wear something of significance to the other, or rather from the other.

I smirked at her as I finished unwrapping my next gift and read the description aloud. "52 weeks of Naughty Nights-Lots of Surprises contains a pouch with 52 different scratch off cards that you and your lover can share…well if this isn't the gift that just keeps on giving, then I don't what is." She laughed softly while I grinned at her.

"Well there is more but I'm saving them for later…" She said while still laughing at my reaction to the Naughty Nights gift.

"I'm looking forward to it, baby."

We spent the day cuddled up in front of the fire watching movies, we had chosen to relax today as she was preparing our christmas dinner tomorrow. She said she wanted to spend christmas day with just me, so she invited Jason, Tara and JB over boxing day for dinner.

Shortly after nine Sookie decided that she wanted to shower, she'd only been in there a few minutes when I decided that I would join her. It was only then that I came to realise that she had locked her bedroom door, I didn't know what to think about that and went back out to the living room.

It was only maybe ten minutes later when I turned towards the doorway after hearing Sookie clear her throat. I was completely shocked to see her standing there leaning against the doorframe, nervously worrying at her bottom lip sucking it between her teeth, staring at me innocently in nothing but a big red bow wrapped strategically around her breasts.

"Fuck, Sookie. Are you trying to kill me?" I could not remove my eyes from her, this must have been one of her other 'gifts' for me.

"Not at all, I just came out to say goodnight. I'm awfully tired and have such a long day tomorrow. Love you babe." She damn near whispered in a sultry voice before turning away from me and walking down the hallway.

I quickly followed after her, catching her just outside her bedroom door. I pushed her up against the wall, knowing that she was feeling every inch of me as I rubbed myself against her. I ran my hands down her sides squeezing as they found her hips.

"You look so fucking sexy," I whispered against her ear, I barely recognized my own voice as it was laced with so much lust.

She whimpered as I began kissing her shoulder, nibbling my way towards her ear. Her breath hitched as nipped at her ear lobe.

"I missed you, baby, I tried to join you but you locked me out." I growled into her neck.

My hand slid down between her legs and my fingers stroked her wet folds before I slowly slid two fingers in to her. "Are you still ready for bed, baby? Do you want me to stop?" I moaned as my lips trailed across her jaw.

"Ugh god, no! I want you, I need you, Eric.

"Tell me, do you want me to fuck you, Sookie?" My voice was husky.

She nodded and I raised an eyebrow while looking into her eyes, she knew immediately that the nod was not enough, I wanted to hear her say it. "Yes, please. I want you so much!" She moaned as she ran her hand down my chest to my waist.

I groaned loudly as she ran her hand over my stiff erection. "Eric make love to me" She was pleading with me, I could hear it in her voice and it was completely un-fucking-necessary.

Fuck! I wanted her and I couldn't wait any longer, I picked her up throwing her over my shoulder. She laughed as I tossed her on to the bed and climbed up her body.

I don't think she has any idea of just exactly what she does to me, my fingers inched their way up her body stopping as I came to just below the swell of her breasts. I tugged gently on the bow, releasing it from her body.

My lips immediately found her soft pink nipple and I sucked gently feeling it harden in my mouth. "You have the most magnificent breasts I have ever seen…I have I told you that, baby." I groaned as she smiled down at me and began removing my clothes from my body.

My hand slipped between her folds and she was so fucking wet for me, she moaned out loud and thrust her hips against my hand. She was definitely not in the mood to play, she shoved me back and I fell back against the frame of the bed.

She wasted no time as she climbed on top of me, gave me a few quick strokes and settled herself over my throbbing cock, sliding down slower than I thought possible. Taking me in inch by glorious inch as I watched where our bodies joined.

"Sookie… oh fuck… baby… oh god...I…ugh" I let my head fell back against the headboard as she quickened her pace. Fuck, I loved watching her ride me, I looked down between us again and watched as she slid up and down at a now quickening pace.

Watching my cock as it entered her over and over again was the most erotic sight I have ever seen. She was going to be the death of me

"Mmm…" she moaned, "god, I love having you inside me, it feels incredible, baby."

"You feel so incredible around me, so fucking tight. I love you, Sookie… so much baby…" I panted as I brought my hands to her beautiful breasts gently rubbing and squeezing before pinching at her taut nipples.

Her entire body shuddered above me with her release and I followed close behind, my hips thrusting up against her one, then two more times before I came undone calling out her name as I squeezed her ass tightly, pulling her to me and thrusting deeper than I had ever been inside her.

I have no idea what is going on. Sookie's been acting quite differently lately, she is too quiet and looks at me like she wants to say something, but then doesn't. Her recent behaviour coupled with the fact that we had just had amazing fucking sex and she kisses me softly, dismounts me, rolls over whispering a quiet goodnight and drifts off to sleep.

What the fuck?

I let it go for now but I know I will eventually get to the bottom of whatever the hell it is that is going on in that head of hers. I wrapped my arms around my lover, pulling her tightly into my chest as she moans my name.

It took a while before I was finally able to settle into a restless sleep, only to be woken a couple of hours later by Sookie as she cried out for me to 'help her, stop him' she screamed out my name as she kicked and hit me. In all the nights we had spent together she had never woke me in this state, I was momentarily in shock watching her writhing about the bed as though she were in pain.

Her eyes shot open as I called out her name, gently shaking her by the shoulders. "Sookie, baby, wake up. It's ok sweetheart, I'm right here. Your ok, baby." Her eyes met mine and I was completely thrown by what I seen in them, she was shaking with anger… and fear, she was scared to death.

I did the only thing I could and pulled her to me, my arms held her tightly as her body shook uncontrollably from her heart breaking sobs. I waited until she seemed to calm, her body only slightly trembling as opposed to the full out shaking from earlier.

"Sookie, baby, talk to me. What's wrong? You can tell me anything, baby. I want you to trust me with everything, you do trust me don't you sweetheart?" I ran my hand down her arm and watched as little goose bumps formed on her flesh at my touch,

"Of course…I trust you, Eric, I do. " She brushed the side of my face with her soft fingertips and smiled at me but it never reached her eyes, they were still glistening with her tears. "I love you."

She inhaled a slow and entirely unsteady breath before looking at me again, the look in her eyes was almost frightening. If I had to guess I would say that she seemed to begging me with her eyes for understanding, for acceptance. They held shame and guilt, and a whole other myriad of emotions. I was completely fucking lost.

"I love you too, but in all honesty your scaring the fuck out of me right now. What is it, Sookie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, not anymore, not since you came along but…I…I've kept something from you, about my past and honestly in many cases I don't think it would have come up just yet. Only our relationship just seems so much different than others, everything has happened so fast for us." She said sniffling as she spoke.

"Is it too fast for you, baby?" I had to ask, I don't know that I could change anything at this point even if it was too fast for her. I'm afraid she'd have to leave me first.

She swore to me that it wasn't too fast, she loved me, wanted me, could never get enough of me and I believed her.

"I was going to wait to do this, Eric, to tell you this but I think…it just feels right to do it now. I have pushed you to trust me, to talk to me, to be open with me about everything and for the most part I have too but…" She started and I could tell she was extremely nervous about saying whatever it was she was about to say.

"This was just something that very few people are aware of and in all honesty, I had just wanted to move on from it. Foolishly, I believed it to be possible and as you can see…it's not. I never expected to see him again, never in my life thought he would come back…"

She trailed off leaving my mind reeling, who the hell is 'he' and what the hell does she mean that he is 'back'….

**A/N: Sorry to leave off here but I wanted to get something out there as I have fallen behind. Not to worry I will get right on the next chapter.**

**I've also posted a link on my profile with a picture of the almost…hauntingly beautiful sight of the snow settling on the bare limbs of the trees.**

**A/N: All characters belong to Charlaine Harris. **


	17. Chapter 17

_**Previous Chapter**_

"_I was going to wait to do this, Eric, to tell you this but I think…it just feels right to do it now. I have pushed you to trust me, to talk to me, to be open with me about everything and for the most part I have too but…" She started and I could tell she was extremely nervous about saying whatever it was she was about to say._

"_This was just something that very few people are aware of and in all honesty, I had just wanted to move on from it. Foolishly, I believed it to be possible and as you can see…it's not. I never expected to see him again, never in my life thought he would come back…" _

_She trailed off leaving my mind reeling, who the hell is 'he' and what the hell does she mean that he is 'back'…. _

**Sookie POV:**

"I'm sorry, lover but I do not understand what it is that your trying to say. Who are you talking about?… What are you talking about?"

"I just need you to listen to me, no questions, comments, no interrupting period. I'm afraid that if you do I will not be able to get this out, can you do that for me, baby?"

I was so afraid that he wouldn't see me the same after this, would this be the last time he would call me 'lover' or the last time I would call him 'baby'? I couldn't handle it if he pitied me. I didn't want his pity, just his love and acceptance.

He nodded slowly, looking almost too afraid to even speak, like part of him knew that this was going to be bad, real bad. There was no going back now, no backing out of telling him, of opening up to him. He'd never allow it and I simply didn't want to turn back, he was my life now, my future and I wanted him to know everything.

Of course, how he was to be my future I had no idea. I wasn't feeling all that secure in a long distance relationship and I guess if I were being honest with myself I knew that there would in all reality be way too much distance for us to even stand a chance.

That just is not important at the moment, I love him, I trust him and what we are to each other right now is what matters. What the future holds is unknown, as it should be. I need to concentrate on the here and now, and the here and now is Eric and I.

"I've told you that I've not been with anyone before you in close to four years, there was never anyone that had been able to… break through the barrier I had created in that time. It had amazed me, hell it still amazes me now how safe I feel with you, the comfort that you bring me just by being in close proximity to me."

We were still lying naked in bed and for some reason it was what felt right. The things I was about to share with him were and are painful to talk about and I can't explain it but the intimacy and the comfort of feeling his body against mine as I entrusted my most painful of memories to him, it just felt… right.

Maybe subconsciously I felt like he couldn't just up and walk out on me, I have no idea how that was a comfort to me. I guess it would at least give me a few moments to plead with him to stay, to not be ashamed of me or hate me for allowing this horrific act against myself, against my body.

"I, god…I don't even know where to start." I sighed

"I met someone, he was an English Major and was in his final year. We went out a few times, the last time we had gone out things got… pretty heated between us. We hadn't slept together and I had only been with one person at that point, I wasn't ready for more with him."

I paused, trying to find the right words. Eric was listening, I could tell that he was a little on edge not really knowing what I was about to tell him nor what the significance may be to him, to us.

"Unfortunately we'd gone to a party and had had too much to drink, so I'd let my guard down and let things go too far. He obviously thought that we were about to have sex but I put a stop to it, I told him I wasn't ready. He acted like he was ok with it, like he understood but something just didn't feel right and I knew immediately that I wouldn't see him again after that night."

Eric shifted and was running his hand up and down my arm. I was thankful for the contact, there was no way that he could understand how much his simple touch was helping me to get through this, to calm me.

"It didn't quite work out that way though. He left my apartment and I avoided him like the plague but he was everywhere I went, I knew he was obviously following me. He wasn't giving up, so one night when we were out Alcide pretended to be with me, like he was my boyfriend or something. We danced and he kept an arm around me for a while, we thought it had worked because Andre left, he was there and then he disappeared. I was so relieved thinking maybe he had finally gotten the hint."

I felt my heart rate picking up as I neared the most important part of this whole confession, my breathing picked up and I was silent for just long enough that Eric seemed to sense that I was on my way to holding back, not finishing what I had started.

I was lying on my back and had been staring at the ceiling as I spoke while he was at my side, his leg lying across my own. He leaned forward gently placing a soft kiss against my temple, keeping his word, although given silently, to remain quiet. The tenderness of his lips giving me the courage, the determination to continue on.

"He hadn't, I went home…alone. He was waiting for me, he… he had a gun, I don't know what happened at first. I think he hit me with it, I was unconscious briefly and when I came to I was bleeding and dizzy."

I hadn't even noticed that a tear had slipped from my eye and was sliding down the side of my face until I felt Eric's thumb gliding across my skin as he brushed it away. I broke my careful examination of the ceiling and turned my head slightly, our eyes met and his were wild, I could see the anger and knew that he had pretty much figured it out to a certain extent and I broke.

"I'm so sorry" I cried and wrapped my arms tightly around him. "Please don't hate me for letting him…do things…"

"Jesus, Sookie, why the hell would I hate you, baby? I…god there's just no way. You are not to blame."

"Yes I am, Eric. I let him take me into my room and I let him do things to me, I let him touch me. I didn't fight him, it hurt so much and I just let him finish what he started, what he came for. He wanted to make me his, to show me that I belonged to him and he did. When he was done I begged him to leave promising that I would never say a word, I was so scared he would kill me." I was sobbing against Eric's chest and he held me.

"Did you keep that promise, love, did you not report him?" I nodded my head against his chest and felt as his body stiffened.

"I love you, baby." He whispered "Listen to me, you bare no blame in any of that, you have to know that. You're an intelligent woman, Sookie, you have to be able to see that. I don't know what else I can say, Sookie." He whispered against my skin. "Why did you just let him walk away, baby?"

I could hear the venom in his voice regardless of how sweet he was trying to be and was so completely unsure of who that anger was aimed at, was it just Andre for what he'd done to me? Was it also at me for not reporting what happened? Could he not understand that I just wanted to live, I just wanted to move passed this just like with Uncle Bartlett.

"Sookie, what about your Uncle Bartlett, who is that? What did he do?" What the hell? Did I just say that out loud? I must have.

" I…he was my gran's brother, he use to visit us all the and he, oh god, he would touch me and bounce me on his lap whispering stuff in my ear. Bad stuff, I was so young but I knew what he was saying was bad. I didn't understand what it was at the time but he would be hard under me as he bounced me up and down."

I drew in a deep shaky breath, trying to calm myself. I had not expected to also be trying to explain this to him as well. He was going to hate me, he was going to think that I was so…dirty and damaged beyond repair.

"I told gran and she sent him away and everything was fine after that, he wasn't allowed to visit anymore, it was all ok, Eric. Don't you see? I sent Andre away just like gran did with Uncle Bartlett and I was fine, I was just fine…until he came back."

"Your not fine, baby, your far from fine."

He said pulling back from me, I looked into his eyes and I seen it. The look they held spoke volumes, the pity was there and shame, I swear I saw the shame in his eyes. He was ashamed of me, of my actions.

"Don't you do it, Eric, do not look at me like that. If this" I said gesturing back and forth between us. "is going to work, then I can not and will not accept pity from you."

"I don't pity you, I couldn't. I may hurt for you, it causes me pain to imagine what you have been through but I would never pity you. I admire you, your so strong baby." I knew he was speaking the truth, his eyes glistened as though he were on the verge of his own breakdown.

"Where is he? You said he was back…back where?" He asked.

I explained everything to him, seeing Andre on campus, the fear I felt. How I'd been unable to move, frozen in place. We talked more about Uncle Bartlett, about Amelia having found me after, the blood, the pain and how I had actually lost a few days after that.

Waking up at Amelia's and never returning to my own apartment, how I had started over. Moved on with my new life, I could tell he was hesitant to speak his mind but he forged ahead and told me how he felt.

"I love you, Sookie, nothing will change that and certainly not this. I do think that maybe you need to look at a way to possibly deal with all of this, I don't think you have, baby. You were taught from a young age that avoidance is the answer, when clearly it is not I know your gran thought she was doing best by you and maybe what happened with that fucking ass of an uncle was not quite the same as the rest but baby… even he should have been dealt with accordingly. You need closure."

Eric didn't ask anymore questions, he didn't say anything else other then his whispered declarations of love. He held me for the remainder of the night, never letting go. I knew he wanted to know more, I could feel his own heart pounding against his chest while he soothed me. He was by far not near as calm as he appeared, the anger was rolling off of him yet he still managed to have a calming effect on me.

I woke alone in the morning and quickly went in search of him, my worst fear being that he would somehow be gone. I found him in the kitchen, he was seated at the table, his shoulders hunched over, his hands tangled in his hair.

"Eric?" I spoke softly.

He didn't move, he hadn't even registered that I'd said a word to him. I approached him quietly and placed my hand on his shoulder, I'd startled him and his head jerked up. What I saw damn near broke my heart, it was painfully obvious that he had shed tears for me, his eyes were red and swollen, his face still damp. I had no idea how long he'd sat here, his eyes that first held hatred and anger when he lifted his head very quickly turned soft and caring.

He slowly pushed his chair back from the table and pulled me into his lap, the motion was so gradual, so deliberate that I knew he was allowing me the opportunity to pull away but I never would. Didn't he understand how I felt? What he meant to me, the safeness and comforting feeling that he brought into my life?

"I love you." I whispered and his grip on me tightened. I knew the conversation was far from over, I think we both did but I also knew that I had a meal to prepare. Jason, Tara and JB would be here for dinner this evening, Eric and I worked well together as we prepared and stuffed the turkey.

"I love you, too, baby...so much." His lips once again brushed against my temple as he held me like his life depended on it, maybe it did, I know mine certainly did. I needed this man and felt no shame in admitting it.

We baked home made rolls and pies for dessert, constantly sharing loving touches and words. He'd catch my eye every so often and wink or whisper 'I love you, beautiful'

I couldn't help but admire the beauty of him as he gracefully moved about my kitchen, barefoot and in nothing but his jeans that hung low on his hips as he'd left his button open. He was beautiful and he belonged here…always. A girl could wish, right?

I was so happy for the peace we shared this morning, because deep down I knew that all hell was going to break loose on our return to campus…

**A/N: Next Eric's POV, so we can understand what he was thinking. It won't be a repeat of this chapter, I'll start out explaining his thoughts and then move forward from there.**

**A/N: All characters are the sole property of Charlaine Harris. **


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: So, it's time for a little taste of Eric.**

**Eric POV:**

I watched Sookie over the course of the entire day, the time we spent in the kitchen this morning, the time we spent having dinner with her family and friends as I got to know each of them a little. The conclusion I had come to after a very careful, in-depth observation of her was that 'she was good'.

My Sookie was a master at covering up everything, the emotional trauma she was dealing with that in turn brought on a whole myriad of mixed emotions; fear, shame, anxiety, sadness and those were just the tip of the iceberg.

She had to know that she had nothing to fear anymore I would never let him near her and shame, well fuck she had nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing!

I am ashamed to say that I most likely was not there for her in the way I should have been, sure I did as she asked. I kept my mouth shut allowing her the time to get what she needed to off her chest, but I know that she sensed every emotion that consumed me as they raced through my body.

It was fucking overwhelming, at one point I honestly thought that I would not be able to hear another word. I wanted to cover her mouth or put my hands to my ears like a five year old while I repeatedly yelled out phrases like 'I can't hear you' or a simple la la la la la. I may have appeared to be somewhat composed, taking it all in with an easy calm about me, but that was the furthest thing from the truth.

I was so fucking angry, I had never felt consumed by so much hate, anguish and anger in my life. Various images fleetingly ran through my mind as I imagined all of the different ways I could kill this…this monster, there was no way he could be considered a man or a person he was nothing but a disgusting fucking animal.

I had come to the conclusion that although I would much rather a very slow and painful demise for him but if I were to come across this heathen in my current state, I would not be able to control myself and it would be over far too quickly than he deserved.

When she described the events of that night to me, well it shocked the hell out of me. I was livid that someone had done such horrible things to my girl, I was very nearly on the verge of tears myself as I held her in my arms while she cried into my neck.

I was taken completely off-guard, utterly shocked by her admission that she thought I would hate her or blame her for what happened, was she fucking insane? She was never to blame for this at all.

If I were being honest though I would have to say that I was hurt by her words, they didn't show very much faith in me nor our relationship. I had to put that aside for the time being though as she was what mattered in this moment.

She hadn't been with another man since him, until me, I felt honoured somehow that I could be that person for her but I didn't understand how she could just let him walk away. How she could say that everything was fine now, when in reality she had never dealt with it.

It was probably not the most appropriate question or comment at the moment but it was one that I needed the answer to so I asked her straight out if she had let him just walk away. I know, I'm such an ass for asking in that moment but I had to.

The person she described to me from that time was not my Sookie, she was an entirely different person now and that made sense considering all she'd been through. He had done the most horrendous things to her, I was almost ashamed to think of all the different ways I had taken her, what I could have put her through with my own actions.

I love the person she is today and I would have loved the person she was prior to this complete fuckery of events, that is her life, but she still needs to deal with all of this in a more appropriate way in the near future.

It's just not acceptable to me that he walked away from this unscathed, I had to wonder if there were others he'd hurt as well. It all seemed far too advanced for something he'd done for the first time.

It was going to take some time for me to fully understand the logic of letting him walk away simply because she wanted to 'move on'. I know she was scared, fuck she is currently still scared shitless which means she is not at all near as over this as she thought she was and I didn't know if she ever would be.

I was brought from my reverie as my beautiful Sookie ran her hands down my surprisingly bare chest as she leaned over me from behind the chair I was currently sitting in by the fire. I was in such deep thought that she had managed to unbutton my shirt, revealing my bare chest without my even noticing it.

"Hey, baby." She purred against my ear as she nipped at my lobe.

"Mmm…Lover…" I moaned as my fingers threaded through hers on my body.

"So, did you enjoy dinner?"

"Of course I did, it was a joint effort and anything we do together can not be anything but phenomenal." I told her.

"Your right, I never should have asked." She laughed. "Well what did you think about Jason and Tara?"

"I think they're great, I can see why you would be a little distant with your brother. He takes some getting used to but I think he means well. And Tara, well she seems like a real spitfire, you're a lot alike when I think about it. So I have no choice but to like her."

She laughed at my comment again as she released my hands and brought hers to my shoulders. I groaned loudly as she dug her fingers in deeply, massaging me. After everything she's had to revisit with me over the last eighteen or so hours and she feels the need to comfort me.

It made me feel even more like an asshole for her having to feel like she had to make me feel better, I wasn't having it. I decided immediately that I was going to do everything in my power to make her feel better, I wanted to comfort Sookie. Show her that we are fine and none this changed one god damned thing about us.

I searched through the flyers we had brought in from the mail when we arrived, I thought I remembered something about Christmas Festival of sorts. I finally found it and was glad that we still had the chance to attend tomorrow.

_**Shreveport, LA- Please join The Gardens of the American Rose Center, AEP Swepco, Gribsy Petroleum, Perkins & Associates, The Robinson Film Center and GAP Broadcasting for the 26th Annual Christmas in Roseland festival every Friday, Saturday and Sunday evening beginning Friday, November 27 through Sunday, December 31 **_

_**Gardens are transformed into a whimsical winter wonderland featuring dozens of lighted displays, the Christmas Cards to the Community, nightly entertainment, photos with Santa, rides on the Roseland Express train, a model train display, and tons of fun for the whole family. New this year, Movies and Moonbeams will be showing a Christmas classic each Saturday night on the giant 30-foot outdoor screen including The Grinch, The Polar Express, Elf and The Muppet Christmas are open from 5:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. with the last admittance at 9:30 p.m. Admission is $5 per person or $15 per carload. Children ages 2 or younger get in free. Group rates are available. For more information, please contact Ellen Trice at (318) 938-5402 ext FACTS:WHAT: 26th Annual Christmas in Roseland FestivalWHEN: Fridays, Saturday, Sundays- November 27, 2009-December 31, from5:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. Last car admitted at 9:30 p.: Gardens of the American Rose Center, just off I-20, Exit 5 in Shreveport, LAReleased By:Maria Scott, Advertising/Marketing Manager, 318-938-5402 ext 101, **__**mariaars**__**-**_

I didn't tell her what I had planned just that we were going to Shreveport tomorrow, she seemed excited about it but was far more interested at the moment in making me choose a card from the deck she had fanned out in her hands in front of me.

It wasn't until I actually looked at the card that I realised what the little minx had been up to, and it wasn't a magic trick. Well I guess it could be really. It shouldn't have been a surprise to me that she was having me choose a card from my Christmas gift of 52 weeks of Naughty Nights-Lots of Surprises, but I was a little startled by it.

I was torn between whether or not I should be glad that she was so open and comfortable with still being with me sexually so soon after her mini break down early this morning or if the anxiety I was feeling about trying something new with her was justified.

I was so fucking confused, was I a complete asshole for wondering if I should even touch her in that way right now? Would it be worse for her if she thought I was hesitant…would that in turn make her feel like I do blame her or don't want her because of it? FUCK!

I made sure to pay special attention to my sweet Sookie, I stroked her face placing soft kisses along her jaw. Told her I love her as always and that I needed a shower real quick before bed, hoping and praying that she'd feel the need to finish tidying up the kitchen and not opt to join me in the shower.

I know, a real fucking ass, right? I just needed a few minutes, my head was fucking spinning. Thankfully she told me she'd be waiting for me, well more like she purred it and I tucked tail and hightailed it to the safe confines of the shower, locking the door behind me.

"I am so fucked" I mumbled to the jackass in the mirror.

I shouldn't be having these thoughts, these doubts about Sookie. She's obviously fine with us and where our relationship is at sexually. I stripped down and endured the shortest fucking shower ever, dried off, threw on some sweats and set out in search of Sookie.

I'd made a decision and it was simple, talk to her. Communication, we'd already agreed it had to be maintained, we needed to be open and honest with one another especially when it concerned topics that were truly important to us and this was important to me.

I'm not at all naïve, I am an intelligent man so I'm not at all being foolish. I am not suggesting that she wouldn't want or be comfortable with having sex with me in the near future. My concern is with her emotional state in this moment as she has just opened up some pretty hardcore wounds of a sexual nature.

It didn't take long to locate her, she was sprawled out on the sofa naked as the day she was born and regardless of how much I was second guessing myself over whether or not this should even be taking place my dick was instantly hard.

She licked her lips suggestively and crooked her finger, using it to call me over. She was sporting a come hither look about her, and I wanted to hither, I really, really did.

Unfortunately we needed to talk first, there was no easy way to broach the subject so I was just diving in head first.

"Are you really ok with this, love? I'm just worried that it could be too soon for you after having opened up some old wounds, ones that I don't think you really dealt with to be begin with." I stayed at the entry way to the living room looking awkwardly at my very sexy, very naked beautiful girlfriend.

"Eric, I wouldn't have suggested it if I wasn't. Shit we've been having sex for like four months now, and I told you, you are my safe place, my comfort zone. I know that might sound bad, maybe it was the wrong way to put it but I wasn't ready before you."

She hesitated briefly, obviously giving thought to what she'll say next. Probably afraid that whether or not this happens depends on how she words her next thought, that pissed me off. I was angry with myself for making her feel like she can't just say whatever is on her mind without having to over think it.

"I wasn't ready and barely even tolerated a man touching me in passing much less anything else, but then you came along and I wanted you to touch me almost the moment I met you. There was something between us before there ever really was, I felt it and I went with it and I am so fucking glad that I did. Does that make any sense to you?"

She spoke with such conviction, she not only meant what she was saying but she believed it. I could see it clear as day in her beautiful soulful blue eyes.

"Everything you say makes sense to me, baby, and I am so fucking glad that you went with it as well." I told her and couldn't keep the smirk from appearing on my face.

"Very good, Eric, now be a doll and strip down before you grab your card off the mantel." It was definitely more of a demand than a request and then she winked at me,

My sultry vixen was out to play tonight and I couldn't be happier, sure the conversation was short but it made sense to her and to me so I wasn't prepared to deny my girl nor myself what we both wanted. I felt much better about this now.

I was quite excited, I hadn't even looked at the card I had chosen so this was going to be good. I shed my sweat pants and t-shirt. I'd gone commando and Sookie was very obviously happy about that if the way her eyes became quickly hooded with lust and her beautiful pink nipples hardening instantly were any sign.

"Oh god" I moaned as I peered at the first of 52 blissful nights that I was about to embark on with the most beautiful, enticing woman I have ever known.

The card was pretty descriptive, told you how to get into position as well as why or what made it so enjoyable.

_The Couch Canoodle_

_Erotic Instructions:_

_Have your partner sit back on a couch (or a comfy chair). Straddle his lap with your legs splayed apart and your knees bent up against his chest. Slowly lean back so you're almost upside down with your arms stretched behind you (all the way to the floor) to support your weight and maintain your balance. Thrust back and forth against him, opening and closing your legs_

_Why You'll Love It:_

_This passion pose supplies the kind of naughty sex scene that all men yearn for. It gives him a full-frontal va-va-voom view of you in action, one that'll undoubtedly fuel his dirtiest fantasies for a long, long time. Plus, because you're the one who sets the speed and timing, you can treat yourself to the exact motions that make you moan with desire and take you over the edge of ecstasy. _

"Oh fuck, Sookie" I was groaning as she placed herself over my hard as fuck dick and slowly eased herself onto me. She was so fucking wet when I had ran my fingers up her slit and was only getting more slick as she thrust against me.

I had never had this kind of view of my cock as it slid in and out of her I could practically see inside of her wet folds as she pulled back so far that my dick barely made contact with her and than slammed back against me.

"Mmmm…I love your tits, baby, they're so perfect and perky." I whispered as I brought my hands to them massaging and pinching at her nipples. "Jesus, fuck" I cried out as I reached new depths by leaning forward against her.

"Oh…mmm…ah…ungh…oh god, baby, do that again! That felt so fucking good." Sookie called out as I gripped her knees that were spread before me and pulled her against me.

I wasn't going to last much longer as I watched myself enter her repeatedly and she screamed out my name. I felt her tightening around me and I'm convinced that she was intentionally squeezing herself around me in small bursts over and over as she set a frenzied pace.

I thought she was going to fly off of me as she seemed to lose control of her limbs, her arms weakened and she near collapsed as she'd been holding herself up with them. I gripped her legs harder, wrapping my forearms under her knees as her body convulsed

"Oh god, jesus…oh fuck, Eric, yes…oh fuck…"

She was all out screaming at this point and finally came hard. I could feel her dripping all around my cock as her juices began to run down between my thighs and I grunted as I spilled the most intense fucking load into her. I came so hard, my dick just kept pulsing, as I continued to spill into my baby's not center.

I pulled her up and against my chest, holding her tight as we caught our breath. Her body continued to shudder against me, causing my dick to twitch as I was still buried in her.

"That was…ungh…I have never came like that baby. It was…so intense." She panted.

"One down…51 more to go, lover, and I can't wait to make you cum all over me again. Did I tell you that I love my gift…and I fucking love you…"

**A/N: Whew, another one down. I wasn't intending to include a lemon in this chapter but it just happened, Sookie had her mind set and once she had Eric on board I lost all creative control…they took over and well, it just felt right .**

**A/N: All characters belong to Charlaine Harris. **


	19. Chapter 19

**Sookie POV:**

I had noticed that Eric was barely able to focus on anything but me for much of Boxing Day, his eyes rarely strayed from me. If I hadn't known any better I would have been convinced that I had been prancing around naked all day being that his eyes were fixed on me and me alone.

He was friendly and took part in conversation just enough for me to be able to say that it was acceptable behaviour, it's not like I could blame him. I had laid a lot on him only hours before everyone arrived for Christmas dinner and he had tried to handle it like a champ.

He's good to me and for me, which is why it damn near broke me to think that he was afraid to be near me, to touch me. My mind was racing when he returned from his shower, he doesn't know it but I can read him, he's practically an open book to me at this point and I knew he was questioning something before he even hopped in the shower.

Hence the awesome display of nakedness that he returned to once he was all cleaned up. I knew I needed the shock value to at least attempt to push him over the edge, I hadn't counted on him being able to keep his distance as well as his head long enough to form some pretty coherent thought.

I was definitely upset at his questioning my ability to be with him but I knew in that moment that if I had ever doubted even in the slightest, the extent of his love for me, I no longer did now nor would I ever after.

I was vaguely aware of a tickling sensation running up and down my side, my eyes slowly opened and I glanced back over my shoulder to see Eric snuggled against my back. He was obviously deep in thought, while he absentmindedly stroked my side gently with his finger tips.

"Good morning, Baby." I murmured and attempted to roll back and over to face him, only he pulled my back tight against his chest. Not allowing me to shift positions.

"Good morning, Lover, how did you sleep?"

"I always have an excellent sleep with you next to me, Eric. I have never had a better sleep in my life. Hey, have I told you how happy I am that you were able to come home with me?"

"Not today." He stated, feigning hurt feelings.

"Aww, poor baby. Well, I love you and I love having you with me, I'm really going to miss this when we go back to New Haven."

I had almost accidently said when we go home, only New Haven could never be home to me. Not now. Sure I have some really wonderful friends there but most will be moving on, just like the rest of us. Although, even if they were not moving on I couldn't stay. There are just too many bad memories for me, I know it's different for some people. There are people who have had similar incidents happen to them in their hometown and are perfectly content to stay there, and that is fine for them. Just not me, I need to come back home, being here now has shown me that.

Plus he is there, I've not allowed myself to think about what I intend to do about that, if anything. Eric will be upset when he realizes that I have left some things out, like the fact that Andre is now a colleague of his. Part of me wonders if I should even tell him, our relationship is supposed to be based on trusting one another now. I am completely aware of the hypocrite it would make me, and just how wrong it would be on so many levels, not to tell him.

Eric reached around caressing my breasts as he placed gentle kisses along my neck and nibbled on my ear. I had never touched myself during our intimate moments but for some reason the urge struck me, so I did. I brought my hand down and gently rubbed my fingers along my lower lips while Eric continued to massage my breasts, stopping periodically to gently pinch and pull at my nipples.

I moaned loudly as I started to rub small, tight circles around my clit. I could feel a slight throbbing knowing that I was considerably turned on by our joint efforts, I was pretty certain that even as my body squirmed and pushed back against Eric's erection he was not aware of my own ministrations.

I shivered as his fingers gently brushed my hair aside, and his lips found their way across my shoulder. Open mouthed kisses were strategically placed from my ear, down my neck and across my shoulder blade. I felt my stomach flip from excitement as his hand released my breast and began a slow journey down my body, knowing he was going to find that I had slipped two fingers inside of myself.

His breath hitched as his fingers came in to contact with mine and I gasped as one and then two of his fingers entered me.

"Jesus fuck, Sookie. Do you have any idea what you do to me?" He groaned while pumping our fingers in and out of me, slowly. "Oh fuck, Sookie. You're so wet. Don't stop, love, please don't stop." He was right, I was wet, really fucking wet and tight.

"Faster, Eric…please." I was begging. He was in control of the depth, the speed, everything as his hand covered mine.

"Cum for me, Baby, for us." He whispered. His hard length was gliding along my backside and my hips bucked involuntarily, my body convulsed, I was so fucking turned on.

I came hard, so hard. Screaming out his name as stars exploded in front of my eyes like a continuous display of fireworks, never ending . I'd never felt anything so intense, so fucking good, in my life.

I reached behind me taking my now wet fingers and slid them up and down Eric's cock while rubbing my thumb over his wet tip. I wrapped my hand around him completely and started stroking him. He was so fucking hard.

A tingling sensation coursed through my body and wetness continued to pool between my legs. "I need you in me now, Eric…please?" I cried out.

He lifted my leg slightly, sliding it back and over his own as he slowly slid into me. His thrusts were careful, controlled. "Harder" I pleaded. Thrusting my hips back to meet his. His fingers had found their way back to my breasts and he rolled my pebbled nipples between his fingers.

My arms were raised above my head as I reached back, clutching his hair pulling him forward as we moaned and cried out one another's names into the near silence of the room.

"Oh god, Eric… fuck… unngh… god, yes… I love you so fucking much I called out as my second orgasm took me. My body was convulsing uncontrollably, and I felt myself clench so tightly that it must have been almost painful for him.

He hissed, mumbling incoherently as he thrust harder and faster, slamming against me time and time again. He cried out in a foreign language, I had no clue what he had said, nor had I heard him breath the words before now nonetheless it was still such a fucking turn on.

His body went stiff and he stilled within me, I felt him pulse before he released his hot seed into my center. "Fuck, Sookie." he growled after one final thrust.

"You are too god damn irresistible for your own good, Baby." He stated before pulling out me and holding me tightly against his chest.

I knew it was quite possibly the wrong time to tell him, but yet I felt that it was completely and perfectly, absolutely the right time for all the same reasons that made it the wrong time. If that makes any sense at all.

"Eric, baby. I need to talk to you for a moment. It's… important."

"What is it, Lover? You know you can tell me anything."

"I know, and thank you for that. But this… well I don't think you'll be happy, you may even be angry with me."

"Never, Baby." He mumbled against my temple. I rolled over, facing him. Looking into someone's eyes for the first time ever as I spoke of this subject, it was no surprise that it would be Eric, that I put my trust in. He was my life now, and I was completely and utterly devoted to him.

"I wouldn't be so sure… I've kept something from you. Something big. It's about him… Andre."

"Tell me, Lover, before you drive me insane."

"He's… well, he is now a colleague of yours. He's a professor now, he wasn't then. He was just graduating that year."

"Andre? You can't seriously mean that prick, Leclerc, the new English Professor?"

I was shocked to say the least that Eric, already knew who he was. I nodded as silent tears ran down my face, he brushed them away with the pads of his thumb telling me that it's ok, everything was going to be ok. "He can't hurt you anymore, Baby. I'll take care of it, just calm down, love."

"No, Eric. You can't take care of it, what does that even mean? I don't want you getting in trouble, I can't lose you! Promise me, you won't do anything." I begged.

"Sookie, you have to know that I'm going to kill him. Right? I will never be able to look at him and not picture him forcing himself on you. You deserve better, so much better than the despicable things he's done to you. You deserve to be honoured and cherished, worshiped and loved. I will not rest nor will I be satisfied until he has paid for his crimes against you, against my love."

"What you say I deserve, it sounds an awful lot like a marriage or at least it's vows." I joked trying to deter his attention away from Andre, I'd done what I needed to and shared one of the last more important details with him. Now, I just wanted to enjoy the rest of our time here together.

I was so excited as we arrived in Shreveport and I realized what Eric had planned for us, I hadn't attended the Annual Christmas in Roseland Festival in years and yet nothing had changed. It was still gloriously beautiful and probably the most fun I had had in ages.

We walked around for hours and enjoyed the many lighted displays, one of my favourites being 'Magic Christmas' it's a computerized Christmas light show that consists of a real train traveling through a forest of Christmas trees, old real lighted toys hanging from two oak trees and over 300 strobes of various size and intensity. The display also features many special effect lights that dance to upbeat Christmas music. The display consisted of over 150,000 lights, it was amazing.

We had our photo taken with Santa, the look on his face when Eric moved to sit on his lap was hysterical. I think the man was actually afraid, I can't blame him though he probably thought that this 6'3 Viking looking, mass of a man was intending to defile him, or something. We ended up sitting to either side of him and the picture turned out beautifully.

After that fiasco we went for a ride on the Roseland Express train, it was a life size model train display, and tons of fun for the whole family, so the sign read. It really was fun though.

They were doing something new this year, Movies and Moonbeams are showing a Christmas classic each Saturday night on the giant 30-foot outdoor screen. We decided to sit back and enjoy tonight's feature, which just so happened to be 'The Grinch'.

"Thank you so much, baby. I really had a lot of fun today, I can't believe you came up with this." I told him as we were leaving Shreveport. He reached over taking my hand and brought it to his lips before settling both our hands in his lap.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself, I've never actually seen anything quite like it. I wanted to surprise you but it looks like I also surprised myself, I'm happy that I was able to share it with you ."

"Me too, I think we should grab something for dinner before going home, it's kind of late and that way there's no mess to clean after. It'll make getting to my plans for the rest of the evening a little easier." I smirked at him, knowing that I'd baited him.

"And what would those plans be, Lover?"

"For you to draw another card." I said simply.

" I thought the game was 52 weeks of fun, like I choose weekly." He said as he chuckled.

"We're on vacation, Eric! We can stick to the weekly aspect of the game once we go back to New Haven, besides are you seriously complaining?" I knew he wasn't but that wouldn't stop me from teasing him about it, not if it meant I was going to get my way.

"Not at all, I look forward to it actually. I can't wait to get home now." It made me happy to hear him refer to my home as _home_. I really wish that things were that simple, that easy.

We had a quiet dinner at Merlotte's, both settling for a Cheeseburger and fries. Sam was a little put off by Eric, I couldn't blame him. We'd had very little contact since breaking up and Eric really is intimidating, he's so damn perfect that no one could possibly ever compare to him, most people felt inferior to him and he was all mine.

We were not home five minutes and had both stripped down to nothing, I love a naked Eric. I could never tire of seeing him just standing there in all his glory, fuck he's Hot! I watched as he stepped out of his boxers, his muscles flexing as he bent over slightly. He was already hard.

"I love that your always ready for me, Baby." I whispered as I ran my hands up and down his beautiful chest.

"Always, I can never get enough of you, love."

I fanned out the deck of cards and he choose what came to be known as 'our position of the day' for the rest of our mini vacation.

_Lap Limbo_

_Erotic Instructions:_

_Your guy sits back in a roomy chair with a pillow placed under his knees to elevate them. Now you straddle him, lower yourself into the triangle of his lap, and lean back so you're resting against his raised thighs. Bend your knees and put your ankles over his shoulders so they rest on the back of the chair. He grasps your hips as he enters you, and you set the rocking in motion by pushing your feet against the top of the chair as he thrusts by pulling your hips toward him._

_Why You'll Love It:_

_The payoff of this racy recliner move starts with pure visual pleasure. With you in his lap, legs open, he's got an up-close-and-intimate view of you, plus easy access to touch your breasts, your tummy, and between your legs. All that tender stroking will intensify the sensual, superslow buildup brought on by his minimal movements._

"Sounds interesting" He murmured as he sat back in the chair that sat in front of the fire, pulling me into his lap. "I really like these positions that leave you wide open to me, I feel a little voyeuristic with how much I seem to be getting off on watching as my dick thrusts in and out of that tight pussy of yours. Seems I'm a huge fan of the visual pleasure"

"Mmm… Huge...yes. I love me a little dirty talking Eric, keep going baby, a little flattery will get you everywhere." I moaned as I slid myself onto his erection, leaning back as I brought my ankles over his shoulders.

"Fuck, your so wet for me, Baby."

"Your not the only one always ready, I'm dripping wet at the very site of you, constantly. Hell you don't even have to be in the room, I'm wet as hell just thinking about you."

I pushed my feet against the chair, effectively sliding back and almost off of Eric. His eyes glazed over as he watched his head all but pull out of me and slowly slide back in. He flattened his palms along my stomach and sensually slid them up my body, skimming the sides of my breasts. "Fuck, Baby, your so fucking beautiful."

"Oh yes… yes… yes, Eric! Don't sop, please don't stop. I need you to keep touching me." I cried out as his thumb grazed my throbbing nub. "Oh god, fuck… shit, yes… oh god, I love you, I love you so fucking much!" I rambled on almost incoherently as felt myself tighten, clenching around his magnificent length.

That was only the first of many orgasms that I experienced on this night…

**A/N: All characters belong to Charlaine Harris.**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Sorry for the hold up people, truly I am but I've had a lot going on. I am actually off work for a while so will most likely be able to get back to posting much more quickly. Thanks to those who have stuck around, we're heading back to New Haven and Andre now…**

**Sookie POV:**

Eric and I spent the rest of our trip in seclusion, including New Years, he had offered to take me out or help me prepare for company if I chose to invite a few people over. I just didn't have it in me, my nerves were officially shot.

We spent New Years cuddled up on my couch watching movies, sipping wine, snacking on cheese and fruit. It was great, I felt like we were an elderly couple sharing a moment after years together. It felt good.

I hated the thought of heading back to school and I definitely worried about Eric and… Andre, it felt strange to say the least to mention his name. It used to make me cringe but oddly, the last few days, all the talking we have done has made a significant difference in my… reactions to him. Oh and then of course there is all the sex, 52 weeks was the best damn gift I could have ever bought for Eric. For us. It was in some ways an entirely selfish gift.

"I love you" He spoke softly as his beautiful lips caressed my skin. I sighed. God, I love him so very much.

"And I love you." Lately words were something we rarely needed to express ourselves. Every time our eyes would meet, they told me that he loved me, wanted me, would always be there for me and I was positive that mine clearly mimicked the same sentiments.

The final movie ended and there was less than half an hour to the New Year, I laughed at Eric's next words. We were seriously two in same, cut from the same cloth, made from the same mold, and all that.

"So, what do you say, Lover? Watch the ball drop or fuck in the New Year?" Did I already mention that I love this man?

"Do we really have to choose? I say both, I wanna have my cake and eat it too. I'm selfish that way. What does that even mean anyway? I mean... what am I supposed to do... eat somebody's else's cake?" Eric laughs, he says he loves my randomness. I love his.

He grew serious for a moment "I think it means that you have to make sacrifices to obtain what you want. That things in life are not just handed to you. When you grow up with money... people form opinions of you, that aren't always true. My high School it was in a very up-scale neighbourhood. Every one referred to the students, to us as "Cake eaters"... This was due to the "rich kid" label that we all carried."

"Hmm… well I love your 'cake eater' ass. You can eat my cake anytime, you don't even have to earn it, baby."

I jumped up grabbing the deck of cards off the mantel, for some reason many of our 'position of the day' activities seem to start and often times end right in this room. So we keep the cards handy. "Pick a card, hot stuff. We're short on time, I want the last thing I do this year and the first thing I do next year to be one in the same. Fucking you."

He smirks as he looks over his card. "Looks like my voyeur days are being put on hold, but I get to be looking into your beautiful eyes while I fuck in the New Year." He chuckles to himself. "My life is so different since you came along…"

"Good different, I hope." I respond, feeling uneasy. He's smiling but those words could be taken in so many different ways.

"Good? More like great. Life since you… it's been nothing short of amazing. I love you. Now strip and get on your back woman."

"Mmm… I love it when you command me. This dominant side of you… it's so fucking hot." His smile, is now a frown and I know he's thinking about _**him**_… and me. A few days ago, I would have cowered knowing his mind held these images. Only now I refuse to let _**him**_ win.

"It's not the same thing, baby." I soothe.

"I know. I'm sorry, Lover. Proceed." He commands yet again, and just like that I know that he too is refusing to see me as that girl… not anymore.

I do a little strip tease and he is instantly hard, his erection straining against his pants. His eyes roam my body, I could see the want and need he felt for me as he stood and reached over his shoulder to grasp the back of shirt. It was quickly yanked over his head and tossed on the floor. I moved forward and began to relieve him of his pants, his hard length sprang from it's captivity and I took him in my hand for a moment.

He traced his hand up my inner thigh to my wet sex letting his fingers gently probe my throbbing clit before caressing my wet hot folds. I whimpered as he pressed two fingers in to me and pumped a few times, I was wet, really fucking wet and he was… ready, we both were.

He guided me into position, as he had read the card. I'd only glanced at it as he set it down. He entered me slowly and god, he felt so good. He always did. I moaned out loud as he picked up the pace and slammed into me over and over, thanking God, Odin, Thor any Deity I could recall for the gift of this man.

Jesus Christ, he was huge and I know this as fact but this position… Fuck! He filled me beyond full with this angle, his cock is the mother of all cocks… the Moby Dick of cocks. Yea, my own personal Moby.

_**The Sexual Seesaw**_

_**Erotic Instructions:**_

_**(Women) Lie on your back and lift your legs so they're over your ears and parallel to the floor. Your partner, kneeling in front of you, butts his knees up against your lower back, supporting you, and leans his torso against your thighs. (You can hold his legs to stay in this vixen-esque V-shape.)**_

_**Why You'll Love It:**_

_**This position will make any guy's member feel extremely large, since your legs are raised (which narrows your vaginal canal) and spread (which provides the deepest penile penetration). That adds up to an extra-full feeling plus lots of fab friction for you and a tantalizingly tight squeeze for him. Vary the pace and the intensity of the rocking. Just as one speed starts to feel unbelievable, switch it up. Go from slow to fast and back to slow again, drawing out the climax for as long as you can. Time it right, and you'll be headed for dual-orgasm delight.**_

I barely registered as the crowd on the television chanted 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... Happy new…

"Happy New Year, Lover." Eric whispered, spreading my legs apart and as he leaned in and kissed me deeply, while he pushed deep inside of me.

"Mmm…god yes, Happy New Year, baby. Oh fuck, mmm… Moby."

My mind was mush, completely blown, one moment he'd slam into me hard and fast and the next, slow and sensual until my entire body shook as wave after wave of an earth-shattering orgasm racked my body. Eric grunted and I watched as his eyes rolled back in his head, while his face held a myriad of emotions, contentment, happiness, satisfaction, peace, excitement, pleasure… sheer orgasmic bliss. He was beautiful.

He removed his length from me, pulling us both to our feet. He flicked the television off and swept me off my feet… literally. I wrapped my arms around his shoulder and nuzzled the side of my face into his neck as he carried me into my room, tucking me in bed. I was exhausted, my body was aching.

I had to give some serious thought into starting up with yoga or something again. I'd say it is definitely a necessity, especially if I intend to continue with our little card game. Which I do.

He crawled under the covers with me and pulled me into his arms. "Moby?" He questioned, suddenly utterly confused. I didn't even have the energy to giggle to myself and simply drifted off to sleep.

Our last day in Bon Temps was spent cleaning, making sure the house was in order before we left and packing. Eric and I shared one last shower in my home, I hoped he would visit with me again. It was seriously breaking my heart to think that in 5 months we would no longer live in the same town. The distance between us would be huge.

There would be no late night visits, dinner, sharing a bed regularly, not even the chance for a quick conversation or office visit over coffee. I knew once we were settled I would let this all go again… for a while, I would have to because I want to share every moment possible with him before I return home.

My home is here, it always has been and always will be. Yes, a part of me knows that wherever Eric happens to be is also home to me but not coming back here to live, it just isn't an option. What few family and friends I have are here, plus Amelia and Trey are moving here too. That only leaves Eric.

I selfishly find myself hoping that he'd walk away from his life and make a home here with me, but realistically, it's the last thing I expect to see happen. All day he passes me, offering hugs and kissing me, smiling and winking. He fits here. He fits his own home too.

Sleep did not find me on our last night together, I knew it would all change, go back to normal when we are back at school. Normal was good. Is good, it's just not quite the same as here, here we could be ourselves and not hide what we have or how we feel. Here we had perfection. We are perfection.

The flight felt long, too long. I was tired. My eyes were swollen and dark circles were present below them, we went to our own separate places after sucking face a little. Ok maybe a lot. I didn't want to leave him but I did.

Amelia was ecstatic to see me, she missed me. I missed her too. I slept the evening and night away and the following morning we spent shopping for last minutes items we needed for home or class. I was nervous about classes starting back up, nervous about _**him**_ and I told her so. I guess I should be thankful, at least in regards to my own sanity that I would not have any classes with that… thing.

I was only able to see Eric once before classes started as he has been extremely busy preparing his lectures and assignments. I couldn't very well hold it against him, he had intended to get some of that done while we were away but after my full disclosure of all things Andre. It Didn't happen.

He focused so much on me, I'd even told him more in the last few days before we returned to school. Aside from Amelia he is the only person I have opened up to about it and in the end I had told him everything, there may even be a few facts that he now knows that not even Amelia does.

I was pissed on Monday morning when I came to realise that Eric was still one of my professors. I had intentionally tried to register for classes he would not be a part of, unfortunately there was one class I absolutely needed and administration had made some changes, Eric would be the only professor offering the course.

We had made it this far and would be fine, I had just been looking forward to the small amount of relief it would have brought. I had intended to give Eric at the very least a small part of my mind for not thinking to give me any advanced warning, evening texting me in the morning would have been helpful.

Unfortunately the opportunity to speak with Eric never presented itself and I was beginning to think that he was avoiding me. He definitely avoided any and all eye contact with me in class, never called on me once in the first few days and made sure to rush from the class before I could even consider staying behind to catch him after class. The worst part of it was that he also appeared to be so angry each day, other's may not have realised just how angry but I knew him well.

Strangely he would still text me good morning and goodnight at times and tell me that he misses me but he was not making an effort to see me.

Thankfully I had yet to run into Andre, but he was also one of the reasons I was so hurt by Eric's lack of communication. After everything I shared with him about that, how could he just ignore me knowing that Andre roamed the halls.

I was confused and… lost. His behaviour was hurtful, especially after the holidays we had just spent together. It had been a full week since we had gotten back and I wasn't putting up with it anymore. I was paying him a visit this evening.

**Eric POV: Just a little taste of what to expect from the next chapter.**

I was exhausted, there were no other words to express just how tired I was. I had barely slept, between lecture and lesson planning as well as the university dropping a new class on me. I had never led the class before so it took that much more work for me to prepare for it.

I'd had one chance to see Sookie before classes began, that and a few text messages. It just wasn't enough after having gone home with her. I was frustrated, from work, lack of seeing Sookie and knowing that I would soon come face to face with Andre Leclerc.

Monday morning I was excited to know that now that classes were back in effect and I was ahead of the game with my work, I was going to be able to see Sookie tonight. It had been four days since we had returned. I was about to text her about seeing her as I walked by Lerclerc's office, he was offering early morning office hours and the door was partially open.

My first thought had been about Sookie when I'd heard a small whimper coming from the office. I didn't even give it any thought as I pushed his door open and barged in, and I felt instant relief to find a short haired brunette with him. It was not my Sookie.

He hadn't even registered my presence in his doorway, neither had she. When I heard the words that left his lips, I immediately felt guilty for feeling relieved at this girls expense and enraged at the nerve of this fucker.

"What happened between us" He hissed while gesturing angrily between himself and the young girl, she looked to be a first year student. "was consensual as far as I'm concerned, and with your history no one, and I do mean no one will take your word over mine. Do not force me to make good on my promise…" His voice broke off abruptly as he finally took in my form as I had began to advance on them.

I was livid and damn near took his head clear off his shoulders, what stopped me in my tracks was the combination of fear, shame, horror and then some that I witnessed on that girls face. It was almost an exact replica of the multitude of emotions that had marred Sookie's beautiful face. This girl too, also blamed herself for whatever this monster had inflicted on her.

In my moments hesitation the girl had jumped up and was now standing before me, I didn't recognise her but she knew me. "Professor Northman" Two words, one name, however you wanted to look at it but her eyes were begging me to get her out of this office. And I did just that.

"I was just looking for you. I am sure that Professor Leclerc is finished here." I couldn't use her name, I didn't know it and Lerclerc simply nodded. He knew he was fucking busted, for something anyway.

I was trying to lead her to my own office and maybe that might not have been the best idea but she didn't allow me the chance. The moment we rounded the first corner she bolted, I still had no idea of who she was.

I was fucking pissed, beyond angry, this girls pain was fresh. Not that it lessoned what Sookie felt but with Sookie what I saw was a dullness behind it all, it was faded somehow. She'd had four years to deal with the pain and hadn't truly done that but in her own way had healed even just a little. She still held hope and happiness within her eyes, something that this girls eyes threatened to never hold again.

Whatever had happened to the young brunette was extremely recent, her wild yet dead eyes were a complete contradiction. They were raw, fresh, angry, scared. I don't know what I would have done, if I could have handled seeing Sookie at the same stage this girl was at. My heart would have broke. It hurts for this girl though.

I have no idea how I made it through my classes, my mind was elsewhere. I hadn't gotten around to texting Sookie after what happened and by the end of the day my anger had not dissipated. I had a few glasses of scotch in my office before leaving, normally if I indulged at all it was a single drink but I felt my day had earned me more.

I have no idea whether or not it was the best or worst of luck to fall upon me but just as I was heading home for the day, I noticed Leclerc himself walking in front of me and I followed…

**A/N: All characters belong to Charlaine Harris.**


	21. Chapter 21

_**A/N: I apologize in advance, this chapter is a little dark, well maybe a lot dark but it had to be. **_

_**Previous Chapter**_

_**I was fucking pissed, beyond angry, this girls pain was fresh. Not that it lessoned what Sookie felt but with Sookie what I saw was a dullness behind it all, it was faded somehow. She'd had four years to deal with the pain and hadn't truly done that but in her own way had healed even just a little. She still held hope and happiness within her eyes, something that this girls eyes threatened to never hold again.**_

_**Whatever had happened to the young brunette was extremely recent, her wild yet dead eyes were a complete contradiction. They were raw, fresh, angry, scared. I don't know what I would have done, if I could have handled seeing Sookie at the same stage this girl was at. My heart would have broke. It hurts for this girl though.**_

_**I have no idea how I made it through my classes, my mind was elsewhere. I hadn't gotten around to texting Sookie after what happened and by the end of the day my anger had not dissipated. I had a few glasses of scotch in my office before leaving, normally if I indulged at all it was a single drink but I felt my day had earned me more.**_

_**I have no idea whether or not it was the best or worst of luck to fall upon me but just as I was heading home for the day, I noticed Leclerc himself walking in front of me and I followed… **_

_**Eric POV: **_

I have no clue what I am doing, why I am following this prick but I know there is a purpose to it, I can feel it. The fucker even slithers along as he walks, just like the fucking snake that he is.

For the life of me I can not get the terror I saw in that girls eyes out of my head and it is doing nothing but fuelling the fire that is burning within me. I watched as he entered a small house a short distance in front of me and took a moment to contemplate my next move.

I was determined to have a few words with him and even more determined to ensure that he would be staying the fuck away from Sookie. I had my head about me enough at the moment to realise that I needed to quickly compile a history for Sookie and myself, one that was believable enough that he would not piece our relationship together.

I couldn't care less what would happen to me if the University found out but Sookie was a different story, she was so close to graduating and didn't need the bullshit. I was just going to go with her being an old family friend, it was believable enough.

I knocked a few times and he still hadn't answered so I tried the door and to my surprise or maybe not it was open. Of course it was an animal such as himself would feel safe in his own home, only these women he violated would be left in fear. He'd gone after Sookie in her own home, she hadn't felt safe enough to return to it even once.

His home was small and the furnishings were scarce, it was obvious he was still getting settled. I could hear water running and knew the creep was in the shower, so I took a quick look around. He had videos sitting out that were labelled by first names only, the first names of women.

I picked up the one sitting on top, it was named Janice, and I slid it in the player after turning on the television and quickly muting it. The tape appeared to be part way through as though he had already been watching it, enjoying it.

I could hardly believe what I was seeing and I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. It was one of those things where you knew you should look away, almost had to look away and just couldn't. There she was the young brunette from today, on her hands and knees clawing at the mattress as though trying to climb away and his grimy fucking hands, one on her hip and the other over her shoulder while he was pounding quite violently into her. Tears were running down her face, I could tell by her expressions that she was crying out. There was blood quite obviously smeared across her backside and I could even see where some had run down her leg.

My stomach lurched and I very nearly threw up as I watched him pull himself from her… from her backside and give it smack. It was in that moment that I noticed the date stamping in the top corner, it was three days ago. His pipes clanged as he shut the water off and the sound set me back into action, with the television off and tape now left where I could grab it on my way out I found my way back to his bedroom and waited.

This was the room, he had brought her here. I recognised the headboard and the tacky blood red sheets. My mind was all over the fucking place, I knew he had taken my Sookie in the same way he had taken that girl, Janice. She now had a name. Something had to be done about him, he couldn't be let to walk the fucking streets, not anymore.

Sookie would hate herself if she came to find out what he had done to others after her, she would blame herself because she didn't report him. Didn't have his fucking ass put away. I had to find a way to convince her to change her mind, to look into doing now what she should have done then. I can't and won't hold it against her, she was a victim and she was scared to fucking death. I may not have seen it in her eyes four years ago but I sure as hell seen it in Janice's this morning. She ran. She wasn't going to speak either.

If I could find her, get them together maybe they would come forward, together. I heard as what I guess was the bathroom door open and stood to the side, waiting patiently. He walked into his room in nothing but a towel which he dropped when I startled him.

"Good evening, fucker." I growled at him.

His eyes bulged out of his head and he stood there naked, gaping at me. His nakedness didn't bother me, I'm swedish, I'm happy to spend half my time naked. What did bother me was having a front row view of the appendage that I would gladly rip from his fucking body.

"W-what the fuck are you doing in my house?" He stuttered while attempting to back away from me. He was a fucking runt of a man, standing a full head shorter than me and I grabbed him by the throat shoving him up against the wall.

"I came to watch some home movies with my brand new best fucking friend, what do you think I'm doing here asshole." He was scared, I could see it in his eyes but they still didn't reflect the same fear as _**hers**_.

"Listen carefully because I will only tell you this one time and one time only, I have a friend, a very old and dear family friend. She is family to me. You are to stay the fuck away from her, if I find out you so much as looked her fucking way I will find you and I will do to you what you have done to her." The fear in his eyes was slowly escalating.

"Sookie Stackhouse, you will do well to forget that you ever fucking knew her. Count your fucking blessings that I did not find out about this when it happened because , this air you now breath, is a luxury you would no longer have." Recognition flashed through his eyes at her name and he began to struggle against my hand a little, which only pissed me off.

"Do you understand what I am telling you?" He nodded.

"Stay away from Sookie." His voice was hoarse and he was barely able to get it out with the hold I had on his throat.

"That's a good fucking start but what will I do to you if I find out otherwise?" I ground out between gritted teeth.

"You'll hurt me." The little pussy whimpered.

"Hurt you, is an understatement, fucker. Let me spell it our for you." I spun the worthless piece of shit around and shoved his face into the wall. "This ass, I will own it" I hissed and squeezed his right ass cheek with such force that he cried out. "I will find you and I will take you, here, just like you took her, I will fuck you and this fucking mini sausage that you are working with is nothing compared to what I come equipped with." I was speaking the words and my hand had taken a hold of him, but it was like I was another person, a possessed man. The words I was speaking were unbelievable, the worst part being that I meant every last one of them. I would fucking hunt him down and quite literally split his fucking ass in two if he ever hurt her in any way again.

"Do we fucking understand each other?" I hissed over his shoulder and his body began to shake uncontrollably as he nodded profusely and tried shouting out that yes he understood.

"Good" I told him and used his own words on him. "Now do not force me to make good on my promise." I turned him back to me and the fucker pissed himself and inadvertently on me, what is with the fucking low lives I come into contact with and pissing on me.

I looked him in the eye and was quite content to see that he was silently fucking sobbing and successfully scared shitless. I kneed him in the groin when what I really wanted to do was punch his fucking face in but I wasn't leaving any obvious physical evidence behind. I let him slump to his bedroom floor and walked towards the door before turning back.

"Oh and by the way if I have to come back, not only will I fuck your ass but I will rip your fucking dick off. Do not go anywhere near Sookie, Janice or anyone else you're sick fucking ass has touched."

I walked out grabbing Janice's tape, I couldn't help them all and I didn't even know what I could do for this one girl but she had touched me and I felt the need to protect her however I could, and today that was by taking his fucking souvenir of her.

I went home, put the tape in my safe for some unknown reason. After I showered I had this uncontrollable need to see Sookie but I knew if I did she would see right through me. I was too angry and just not in the right place to be around her, she had enough negativity in her world and didn't need this.

I sent off a quick text _**'Good night, Lover. I love you' **_and was out cold the second my head hit the pillow.

I woke up in a cold sweat to find it was only after two in the morning. This was the first night that I dreamt of him… and My Sookie. I was gasping for air and choking on what little I was managing to take in, after seeing that tape and the memory of Sookie's words as she spoke of the events of that night. I now had a clear visual, I wanted to gouge my eyes out and would have if I thought it could rid me of the images.

I didn't manage to get anymore sleep, I was afraid to close my eyes again. My dream, it was so vivid. As though I actually stood there watching, unable to step in, unable to stop it from happening, unable to protect her.

I once again get through my day on cruise control, I speak, I read, I ask and answer questions but I see and feel nothing. I am not myself after last nights dream and I know in both my mind and heart that I need to let this go before I lose my mind, I just don't know how.

I feel horrible comparing myself to… them, his victims but I wonder if this is even maybe just a fraction of what they felt because I can't for the life of me get rid of that fucking image. My chest is tight and seriously fucking hurts, and still I can hardly breathe.

His victims… I am doing them a serious injustice by referring to them as his anything, much less victims. They are survivors, yes, survivors that is what they are. Not his survivors, not his victims, not his anything. Just simply survivors.

A few more glasses of scotch today and I am on my way, another night of hell. A bottle of wine later and I consider calling Pam because I need someone to hold me, but I can't. She wants something more from me and I can't give it. Not to her. Sookie already owns it, my mind, body, heart and soul are hers. My pride stops me from letting her hold me, I don't want her to see me broken and then what do I say 'Oh baby, you see the problem is I am dreaming and seeing images of that piece of fucking shit as he rapes and beats you because I watched part of a video of him actually doing it, oh and by the way do you know if he filmed yours because I never thought to look through his stash for it, oh and also the video and the girl they were after you' but what she'll hear is 'the video and the girl were because of you' I know her and I won't let her put that blame on herself.

No, not fucking likely.

I can't help but wonder how Sookie or any other actually got through their ordeal, I simply caught a glimpse of it and it is eating me alive. I can only assume that it has more to do with my attachment to Sookie and hearing her words echoing in my mind over and over. Did she nearly go off her head with these thoughts and images or well, in her case they were memories.

Yes, I imagine she did come close to crazy and now I can only praise her, hold her in the highest regard seeing how well she is now coping. She did it her way and I had no business questioning her choices, her reasoning. Not that I did entirely, I just questioned her way of dealing with what happened, with the aftermath.

I finally drift off and wake in much the same way, I think I am having a panic attack. I know I can not get through another day without her and tomorrow I have to see her, she is probably livid with me. God, it's been days since I have seen her. I text her but when she texts back I haven't replied. I wonder did she do this, shut everyone out, not really live.

Of course she did, until me she had not let another touch her. Not intimately.

I get through one more day of classes and finish off my scotch and once again head home. My house isn't really a home, I know that now. Home was in Louisiana with Sookie and now I am just… here. I sit in the dark and go over the last week.

I have returned from a trip home with the woman I love, where I had experienced the most wonderful days of my life even given the secrets I had learned from Sookie's past, I have watched as a woman that had been traumatized by a monster was threatened by said monster, I have watched part of the video of said woman being violated by said monster, I have threatened to violate said monster myself.

Does that make me no better than him? I have no idea but I do know that I am done. I have finally had enough and my body shakes violently as I release the pent up sobs, I need her, I need her with me, now. I sit silently as I listen to her phone ringing in my ear, only it's not only in my ear but coming from my front door.

It makes no sense I know, but there is seriously a ringing coming from my front porch.

"Hello" She finally answers as I pull open my door, and there she stands.

Somehow she has found her way to me in the moment that I needed her most… Fate.

"Hello" I respond, looking into her sad, red rimmed swollen eyes. We have both been lost and now are found. She lunges at me and for a moment I almost expect Pam to step up to the door because this feels so familiar. I smile for the first time in days because my love is in my arms.

I sleep a dreamless sleep for the first time in days because my love is my arms…

**A/N: Whew... ok so I was and still am a little nervous about this chapter, I actually decided to tone it down jus a little. It is definitely a drastically different side to Eric but it was a lot for him to take in. Sorry for all the cursing... lol but when Eric gets upset he has a potty mouth! Also, the reason I started out with so much of the previous chapter was because I wanted to ensure that we all knew where Eric's state of mind was coming from. Hopefully it was not too 'dark' for most readers.**

**A/N: All characters belong to Charlaine Harris.**


	22. Chapter 22

**A glimpse into the mind of a broken woman:**

"I can't do this, I can't take this anymore. I fucking hate myself. How had I not known, not seen through that fucking mask he wore. He was, no he is a monster" She spoke aloud to herself in the privacy of her own home.

"How had I let him convince me to go home with him, to touch me, to put his fucking lips on my body." She was and had been in tears for quite some time, she hated that she had read him so wrong. He had seemed sweet when she first met him but his demeanor had changed when she went off to dance with John, her best friend.

It had seemed to blow over after a while once she had returned to his table, maybe he thought that she was ditching him for John since he didn't know about the close friendship they shared. Like the fact that they had been childhood friends and come away to school together, his high school sweetheart had also followed them and the three of them share a townhouse.

The things he had been muttering as he… did those things, especially when his eyes would glaze over and he would lash out and hit her, they made no sense. His words ran through her mind as though on a loop, she couldn't not hear them, they were loud… constant.

'You're a filthy fucking whore'

'You like to fuck with the minds of unsuspecting men'

'You think you can disrespect me, humiliate me!'

'You're all the fucking same, you take, and you take, and you take until something better comes along. Whores.'

'Did you like when he rejected you like the fucking trash that you are? I bet you regret bringing your sorry ass back to me now.' He had growled as he smacked her ass so hard that she flew forward almost managing to pull herself the rest of the way off of his repulsive erection before he angrily yanked her back against him.

'Smack, smack, smack, smack…' The sound of flesh meeting flesh as he viciously pounded into her continued to echo through her mind. She held her hands to her ears wishing it away.

"Please just fucking stop, please, please please!" She yelled through the empty house.

He had done things to her, humiliating things to her, things she had never done before. Most of it had been painful, like when he used things on her, shoving them her in anger or when he had made her beg him to take her… the other way. Making her say it in a way she never would.

"Fuck my ass, Andre, please I want it so bad. I want you to shove your cock in me, please." She had never done it this way before and it hurt, she bled and even now still had trouble using the washroom or sitting properly. She felt like she needed to see a doctor but was far too ashamed to admit that someone had been there. So violently.

She was exhausted, worn out beyond belief. Having rarely slept since that night, she couldn't. Sleep was so much worse, she couldn't control the dreams like she could at least attempt to control her thoughts when awake and the dreams, they were so much worse. She would see and remember every last detail of what he had done to her, unable to pull herself from her dreams, her visions.

She had taken to popping both Stay Awake pills and caffeine pills, drinking a ton of coffee, anything in hopes of avoiding sleep. She looked like shit, her eyes were puffy and blood shot, her face already appearing sunken in yet swollen, there were dark circles under her eyes and she could not for the life of her stop her hands from visibly trembling constantly.

She felt continually nauseous, unable to keep even water down. She felt so ill, her thoughts made her throw up more times in the past few days than she had in her entire life and her chest hurt. It hurt all the time, like a constant pressure.

'God, if Professor Northman had not stepped in to that animals office, I have no idea what I would have done. I wonder what brought him there, why he had seemed to step in uninvited while a 'meeting' was taking place.' Was another thought she had had a few times, she was thankful he had shown up and felt bad for running off on him.

She was so happy to see a face that she recognised, he was not one of her professors but everyone knew who Professor Northman was. He was a god amongst men, tall, strong and handsome, he was perfection. These were thoughts that her mind would no longer allow her to have, it hurt too much to think that way about any man now.

She had drifted off for no more than a few moments when she saw it again, him tearing off her clothes, throwing her on the bed and climbing or maybe slithering up her body. He licked, kissed and nibbled at her nipples while plunging his fingers inside her, he was gentle at first and suddenly bit down on her breast drawing blood.

She was thankful for the blood curdling scream that had awakened her from this memory of that night, and only marginally surprised to find that it had in fact been her own voice that had woke her. Her body was covered in bruises and bite marks and she was sore all over. Surprising there was only a small amount of bruising to her face, like he had intentionally avoided that part of her for anything but the use of her mouth. He was despicable and now so was she, at least that was how she felt.

He had used a vibrator, one like she had never seen before on her and brought her to climax, her stomach clenched and she cried as she came. It wasn't fulfilling, it wasn't even a strong sensation, it was simply an uncontrollable reaction to something hitting that spot, repeatedly. Her body had reacted and he whispered into her ear that she had enjoyed what he did to her, that she was a dirty, kinky whore that wanted what he did to her. That deseved what he did to her.

She couldn't live with it anymore, she wanted to wipe the images from her mind. Never have to see them or remember what he had done again, she sat there for hours trying to be strong enough to do what needed to be done.

She wanted to die and now had the means to, John, her best friend and roommate was studying for a degree in Behavioural Science, his goal was to become a federal agent with the FBI. He already kept a weapon of choice in their home, a hand gun that he used weekly at a shooting range to ensure an accurate shot. He was a perfectionist and wanted to be the best that he could be in every aspect as an agent.

He kept it locked up in a lock box in his closet but she knew where the key was and now sat with a loaded weapon, unable to pull the trigger. It finally dawned on her that she couldn't do it, not just yet. He needed to be gone too, he couldn't be left to do this to someone else. To destroy the life of another.

She walked across campus grounds, heading straight for his office. He wasn't there. Noticing the time she realised that he was in class, her class. She hadn't attended the last couple of days, not since running away from Professor Northman. She roamed the halls barely able to see through her tears, making her way to class. It was time she attend.

The door slamming open caused a crashing sound and everyone turned to see her, including him. The look on his face was priceless, she could go to her grave almost a happy woman if that look was the last thing she remembered.

He stood frozen in the front of the class as she approached him, she was unhinged and he recognised that in her. He was afraid. She brought her hand from her pocket and drew her weapon, raising her arm she pointed the gun at his head.

"Sorry I'm late Professor Leclerc, I've been… ill." She felt the burning, prickling feeling in her nose as new tears were starting to fall.

"Janice" He gasped as well as the rest of the class "Please put the gun down."

"You are a despicable man, I can't allow you to hurt anyone else." She cried. He was silent and she grew angry and wanted him to share with the class what kind of a monster he was before she ended it all for both of them.

"Why?" She whispered "At least tell me why did this to me, why you destroyed me, why you killed me." Again she was met with silence, silence and pleading eyes. He wanted compassion when he had shown her none.

"Tell them what you've done, tell them what kind of a monster you are, tell them how you made me do things that I can't live with, not anymore. I am broken, beyond repair. What you have done to me can't be reversed or fixed." She didn't really want the people around her, the world to know what she had went through but at the same time wanted it known that she did not take the life of an innocent man with her. What she was doing was giving life to every other woman that now possibly live in fear and shame like her, because of him and life and freedom from this hell to every other unsuspecting woman he may have set his sights on in the future. He would never ruin the mind, heart, and soul, never break another woman.

"You're sick, Janice, you obviously need help. Let me help you."

"Are you fucking kidding me, you want to help me? There is no help for me and there is no help for you either. This is it for the good of all others, for both of us. Say goodbye."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't do this…" He was begging, he could see it in her eyes. She was ready for this, wanted this.

"You will never beat or rape another woman, it all ends today. I am your judge, your jury, I find you guilty and I sentence you to death." She cried and squeezed the trigger.

Three shots rang out through the halls of Yale that day, people began to yell and scream, running from the room and through the halls. Some running from the room while others were running to, wanting to know what was happening.

Andre lay on the floor not even recognizable as blood seeped quickly form his head, all three shots had hit their target. She would have fired more but had been tackled by a big brute of a man, a fellow student by the name of Paul. He had been sitting so close that even though many of the students had not been able to make out everything that had been said, he had and knew what had been done to her. He also knew that she was intending to take her own life after and he couldn't let her.

The hand gun flew from her hands and landed a short distance away, her eyes were wild as she searched the room and Paul held her knowing she was looking for the gun.

"Please, don't do this. I can't stay here anymore, you don't understand." She cried and he only held her tighter.

"No, I can't let you."

She sobbed into his chest and continued to beg right up until, the paramedics and police arrived. She was taken into custody and placed under suicide watch as she had also begged the arresting officer to allow her to take her life.

"It hurts too much, please. I can't do this anymore, I don't want to live with this anymore."

Beyond that she had basically gone even further into shock and was not speaking to anyone, not even in an attempt to defend herself.

**Sookie POV: The Previous Night**

I was nervous as I made my way to Eric's house, when I reached the door I suddenly wondered if I was over stepping or invading Eric's privacy by showing up unannounced. I stood on his doorstep for a few moments in tears and finally decided to leave, I wanted him to reach out when he was ready. Obviously something was going on because this was not normal behaviour for him.

My cell phone started and ringing and pulled it out seeing that it was Eric, it felt like a sign of sorts. Like I was currently exactly where I was supposed to be. "Hello" I whispered into my phone as the door opened in front of me.

He looked bad and I knew immediately that something was wrong, I did the only thing that crossed my mind. I lunged at him, I needed to feel him close again. It had been too long.

"I've missed you so much, baby, please tell me what is going on." I implored him.

"I just need you and I've missed you too, I wish that we were still in Bon Temps. I felt good there, we felt good there."

"I know, baby." I told him and continued to hold him tightly.

"I love you, Sookie, I can't even imagine what my life would be like without you in it."

"Me too, Eric, I don't know how I ever managed before you."

There was not much more conversation to be had this night, we held each other and whispered words of love to one another before drifting off to sleep. Tomorrow would bring about a much harsher truth for some.

**A/N: So, Andre is no more. What do you think, did he get what was due him or should a more legal route have been taken? I know this was a short chapter but mostly I just wanted to show things from Janice's point of view before moving forward in the story.**

**All characters belong to Charlaine Harris.**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: I know we're jumping ahead a little here but please bare with me, we will be coming back and covering much of what it would seem we've missed. Some of it even in this chapter as I work my way through. Thx so much for continuing to read and to new readers as well.**

**I'd like apologize for the long hiatus but real life has kind of kicked my butt in a big way for the last few months! **

**Sookie POV: **

It was a week to graduation and I would be heading back to Bon Temps…home. It was going to be a bittersweet departure/ homecoming, sweet because it is what it is… home plus Amelia and Tray are coming back with me.

Bitter because I'm leaving my heart, Eric. Although my only real interaction with him in the last few months has been solely due to being here at school, to him being one of my professors. I will miss him more than anything in my life when I'm gone.

It just feels wrong… the thought of leaving him behind. _I love him_…

"When are you planning to say good bye to him?" I was startled by Amelia's unexpected presence, I hadn't heard her enter the apartment.

"Holy mother of God!" I cried out "You scared the living daylights out me, Ames!"

"Sorry, Sook. You were really out of it when I came in… you looked pretty deep in thought but I guess that's been the norm since you returned from spring break."

I was saddened even more thinking back to our hasty return from Bon Temps, Eric had come home with me again but that second visit hadn't been anything like the first. I'm surprised he had even gone with me considering our 'relationship' hadn't been much of a relationship since a month or so after what I had taken to calling 'the incident' on campus that ended Andre's life.

We made love for the last time two days before returning to school, our relationship was officially over the day after we got back. I knew I was being slightly unreasonable but I just felt like he broke a promise… an important one. The one where we would always be straight with one another and he kept something huge from me 'for my protection' he had said.

I just couldn't get past him doing that not after the Felicia ordeal, even if I knew that keeping it to himself had been eating him up inside.

"Yeah, I know." I sighed still unable to keep myself from remembering the last time that Eric and I had spent 'really' together.

"Sooo…" She hedged and I knew without asking who 'him' meant, she was asking about Eric of course.

"Well, I'll see him Wednesday for sure so probably then but I may see him before we leave Saturday."

"So that's it… you're just going to leave? He's just going to LET you leave without a fight? I don't understand the two of you."

"Amelia, I'll miss him. You know that… I'll miss him so much but we just can't go back, not now."

"He was only trying to protect you from yourself, Sookie. You know as well as I do, as well as he did that you would have and still have blamed yourself for what happened."

"Exactly, Amelia, don't you see? I blame myself anyway because I could have put him away before he hurt anyone else but now… I still blame myself and have to know that Eric betrayed me again."

"Betrayed? Don't you think you're overreacting just a little, Sook? He didn't cheat on you or hurt you or someone you love… at least not intentionally. You're hurt, yes but you've got to remember what he had witnessed on that tape and how he had envisioned those same acts being _done_ to you! He was a mess when you found him at his house that first night after the Christmas holidays." She was looking at me as she spoke with a little of both love and disappointment, she expected me to just move passed this but for some reason I just couldn't.

"You know, if you're going to blame yourself then you should hold me accountable too. I was there after remember… I knew what kind of a monster we were leaving to roam the streets. I let him walk too!"

I gasped audibly at her words. "I was distraught Amelia, broken, you were trying to be there for me the best way you could. I could never let you shoulder any of the blame."

"Oh but you can let Eric? Who wasn't even there at the time and was only trying to do the best he could with the aftermath of it all. Maybe he made the wrong decision but it was with the best of intentions and you know it, you just haven't dug deep within yourself enough to see it yet."

We weren't getting anywhere, this wasn't the first time that we'd had this conversation or at least a similar version of the same conversation. As we were getting closer to heading back home she had been becoming an avid supporter of Eric and refused to let it go.

She didn't get it and neither did he. After Felicia we agreed to be nothing but straightforward and honest with one another, regardless of the reason… _he lied_. Maybe I'm just being stubborn, maybe I'm just hurt, maybe it's a much overdue reaction to what had happened to me and I was letting his failure to tell me what he knew become a much bigger deal than it was or should be but nonetheless it felt like betrayal to me.

Time was passing all too quickly and Wednesday was here before I knew it, my stomach ached, I felt ill. I had agreed to meet with Eric at his place even though it was technically professor/student related. He had been late returning our final 'Big Assignment' that would account for a nice chunk of our final grade and had us let us know before the final exam that we could stop by his office over the next couple of days to retrieve them.

My breath hitched when he opened the door after I rang the bell. I'd seen him in class often enough but this was the first more personal or intimate meeting and he just never looked quite the same in class as he did relaxed in his own home.

He stood staring back at me. My eyes started low taking in his bare feet, up to his dark wash low slung jeans. Yup…his legs still went on forever. God I love how tall he is, everything about him is just so… perfect. He had on a fitted grey t-shirt revealing his beautiful six-pack abs and muscular arms. All I could think about was the well defined v-cut that I knew reached down into his jeans. His chest was still broad as ever and his body... Mmm. When I finally got to his face and met his eyes is when my heart literally skipped a beat before taking off in my chest. He was simply… beautiful.

'Get it together, Sookie' I mumbled to myself. Christ I was acting as though I hadn't seen him in months or even years and not just a few short days ago.

"Hi" His voice was low "Please come in"

"H-ey" Fuck, now I'm stumbling over single syllable words. "How have you been?" I asked, being at a loss for words I just kind of spat out the first thought I had.

"Are you kidding me?… I'm sorry. I've been ok, you?" He asked and I could tell that he was trying to cover the fact that he wanted to say something different, obviously.

"I'm good, looking forward to heading home. It'll be a nice change of pace, I'm sure."

He nodded and led me into the kitchen where he poured two glassed of wine. It kind of felt like any other time we had spent in his kitchen as we slowly got caught up with each other.

We had polished off a second bottle when I finally made my way to the bathroom, it was while I was in there that I decided that it was probably time I made my way home. Things were being left off in a good way and I wanted to keep it that way.

I found Eric in the kitchen rinsing out the wine glasses obviously also realizing that the evening should come to a close now. So we were currently on the same page… or so I thought until he walked me to the door and we attempted to say our good bye's.

We started out fumbling through our initial good bye, it was awkward for sure.

"Oh I didn't get my assignment, Eric." I mumbled the last part into his chest as I'd almost been out the door and hadn't realized that he was so close behind me when I swung back around successfully slamming into him. He was quick to steady me and the next thing I knew his hand was cupping my face while I absentmindedly leaned into his touch.

He pulled me forward, guiding my lips to his and that same spark I always felt was still present like fire works going off behind my eyes. The moment I heard the door close behind me he had me pinned against it with his body, kissing me for all he was worth. It briefly crossed my mind that this should not be happening and then all rational thought was just gone.

"mmm… Eric" I found myself moaning into his mouth.

I felt his hands as they ran under my top where he pinched my already erect nipples through my bra causing me to moan even louder into his mouth, while he ground his hips into mine. My shirt was up over my breasts and pulled from my body, left to drop at our feet as he kissed his way down my body.

I raked my hands through his hair and down his back desperate to feel more of him, he growled as he lightly nipped at my nipples after reaching in and releasing my breasts from my bra.

"Fuck" He whispered against my skin as I reached down and firmly rubbed my hand against his erection before unbuttoning his jeans and letting him spring free, he was going commando as always. I wrapped my hand around his shaft and stroked him a few times, paying close attention to the tip. I rubbed his juices back down over the rest of his hardness, making him groan loudly.

I felt as his fingers caressed me through my now soaking wet panties and suddenly my skirt was up around my waist and my panties were ripped from my body. His fingers entered me easily as I was already slick from my own juices, I cried out rocking my hips forward, pushing myself down on his hand wanting, no, needing to feel more.

I felt as my muscles tightened around him and lost all control when his voice low yet gruff demanded me to let go. "Let go, baby… cum for me, lover."

Before I knew it, I was in his arms with my arms and legs wrapped tightly around him and we both nearly fell to the floor as his pants had dropped down around his ankles. He kicked them off, while his lips left a burning trail down my neck and across my collarbone. He laid me back against his bed, his eyes never leaving mine as he gently covered my body with his own. I could feel as his length rubbed up against me and my hands having a mind of their own travelled up and down his torso as I slid his shirt up and over his head and I found myself licking and nipping at his nipples as he cursed under his breath both yanking on my hair yet pressing me tighter against him.

"God, I've missed you." He murmured into my hair.

"Don't" I hushed him bringing my finger to his lips while nodding my head. I looked into his eyes and the hurt they held was evident, he knew I was telling him not to ruin the moment. That too much conversation, too many declarations would put an immediate stop to what was happening here. That what was happening was most probably only a much more intense good bye and not a renewed beginning.

He brought his lips to mine again and I reached between us grasping his hard yet silky soft erection and guided him to my center. He pushed forward making me cry out, it had been a few months and he was after all _huge… a gracious plenty._

He hesitated for a moment before thrusting into me again. "Fuck. You're so tight, so wet" he whispered into my neck. I wrapped my legs around his waist and met him thrust for thrust.

"Oh God… don't stop, Eric, please don't stop!" I cried and was shocked when I felt the tears that were falling from my eyes as I gripped him tighter. Leaving him was definitely going to be harder than I ever imagined.

Thankfully he was unaware of the tears I was shedding because I knew if he saw them he would stop and I needed him to keep going… and he did. He reached between us and rubbed tight circles around my clit as my entire body shuddered and convulsed around him, my inner walls gripping his long, thick, beautiful cock.

He thrust into me once, twice, and then grunted as he thrust into me a third time before he came deep inside of me. A whispered 'I love you' escaped his lips as he released himself in me. His own body immediately weakened as all his weight fell against me, I could feel as his body trembled ever so slightly.

Our breathing was heavy as we both gasped for air, neither wanting to separate from the other. It wasn't long before Eric's breathing levelled out and I knew that he had drifted off while still lying on top of me.

I don't know how I managed it considering how weak I felt but I was able to slide out from under Eric without waking him. I located my clothes and dressed quickly, I knew it was wrong to leave him this way but I also knew that I could not do this again.

_This was our good bye and it would just have to do for him as well_.

A violent sob tore through my body the moment I was on the other side of Eric's front door, I held my finger's to my lips trying to hold on for dear life to the last kiss I had just placed on his forehead as he slept so peacefully. It was such a change from watching his restless sleeps for all those nights until he finally came clean about everything he had been doing and hiding from me.

When he explained how he came to acquire the tape, I had been torn between loving him for being so caring and protective… for loving me and being angry at him for the trouble he could have gotten into.

I tried for several weeks to get passed the fact that he knew all about Andre and all those other girls and had that tape, to understand where he was coming from and maybe I could have if he hadn't spent so much time pulling away from me. Afraid to touch me, afraid to have intimate conversation with me, afraid to just be with me.

He didn't even tell me about the tape until weeks after he had turned it over to the police, and the fact that he tried to keep me from finding out about how many _others_ there had actually been after me was upsetting to say the least.

All these thoughts were whirling through my mind the entire way home and I had managed to contain my sobs until I came face to face with Amelia as I entered our apartment.

I sobbed as she held me "I'm so afraid, Amelia… am I making the right choice? Can I walk away from him after everything?"

"Only you know the answer to that, Sookie. If it were up to me you would have been back with him months ago, you know that." She held me in silence for a few more moments simply rubbing my back.

"I take it things didn't go so well with your good bye?"

"It was great until I was leaving and then… well then it wasn't."

I cried myself to sleep that night and never heard from him prior to leaving for Bon Temps on Saturday…

**A/N: All characters belong to Charlaine Harris.**

**Don't hate me… it gets better. I promise!**


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